A Will and a Wedding

“Which is?” Cassie frowned.

“You’re resemblance to Judith, your faith in God and His power in your life. Maybe it’s what he craves for himself. You can be His light, Cass. Maybe your job is to show him the way to the source of that light, to help him understand that God loves him.”

“It sounds like an awfully convenient excuse for me.” Cassie shook her head dubiously.

“I think this is the only way there is for you to keep the kids. At least right now. And while you’re doing that, you can help influence Jeff’s life in the right way.” Robyn studied her. “Have you got enough courage to take a leap of faith and trust God to work it all out for the good?”

Cassie stared at the ceiling, her mind whirling with problems. It was a lifelong commitment, she knew. Marriage was a solemn promise to another person. It was not to be entered into on whim, or discarded when things got tough.

“I’m praying for you, pal.” Robyn patted her on the shoulder. “Whatever decision you make, I’ll still be here.”

“Thanks,” Cassie muttered, picking up her handbag and moving to the door. “I think.”

“Are you telling me that you will or that you won’t marry me?” Jeff queried, his eyes darkening to a deep sherry brown.

Cassie focused her own gaze on his left shoulder and said the words that needed saying.

“I’m saying that if we can come to some agreement on the conditions of this marriage, I will agree to it. The first thing is the children. I want us to adopt David and Marie. Legally,” she added when he continued staring at her.

“And?”

“And I want to continue to accept foster children whenever I’m asked, for whatever time. If the arrangements become too unwieldly, we can discuss it then.” She said it in a puff of energy, as if she were afraid to stop.

He stood there, tall and silent, staring at her. Cassie could feel his eyes pressing into her, but she stood firm.

“Fine. I agree.”

It was as if someone had punched her in the tummy. Just like that he was agreeing?

“So, what date shall we set?”

Cassie sucked in a lungful of air. “There is one other thing.”

He frowned.

“I think we should wait out the two months’ grace period that Judith gave us. We’ll be engaged but free to break off the arrangement if either one of us changes our minds.” Her heart lost its regular beat for a moment and then resumed a breakneck speed as she met his dark eyes.

“Why?”

“We have to be sure, Jeff. Both of us. I don’t believe in divorce and I’m not going into this marriage with a way out already prepared. If I’m going to be married, it will be wholeheartedly. For life.”

“But waiting means another five weeks,” he complained. “That puts us right before Christmas.”

“I know. It’s enough time to really think things through, don’t you think?” Why did her voice sound so uncertain, Cassie wondered. She’d gone over this a thousand times and this was the way it had to be.

Those liquid chocolate eyes were fixed on her, staring deep into the doubts and fears that filled her tortured mind.

“I don’t need to think about it,” he murmured, never breaking the stare. “I feel quite sure we can both achieve satisfaction from this arrangement, but if you need the extra time, I’ll go along with it.” He tugged a small leatherbound booklet out of his jacket pocket and consulted it for several moments.

Cassie wanted to say something-anything. They weren’t having an arrangement, for heaven’s sake. They were getting married!

“Saturday, December 10th,” he muttered. “That would give us time to prepare for the Christmas celebrations afterward.” One long lean finger tapped the book thoughtfully as Jeff glanced up, eyes gleaming. “How is December 10th for a wedding day, Miss Newton?”

Cassie blinked. That was it? He agreed to everything and then checked his calendar? Somehow she had expected a fuss or an argument. Anything but this calm acceptance.

“Cassie? The tenth?”

She stared up at him, bewildered and confused.

“Uh, yes, okay. I think so.”

“Good.” He brushed his lips across her cheek before rechecking his book. “Now. About the ring. I think if we were to go now it would be best. I know a jeweler who will meet with us privately and design exactly what you want. Maybe he can do everything right now, while we wait. Then we can announce it to the children and the staff. I assume you’ll want the Bennets to stay on?”

He was holding her red wool coat out, ready for her to shrug into. Cassie didn’t move. She couldn’t. She could only stand there staring at him. He was moving way too fast.

“Ring? What ring?”

“Your engagement ring, of course.” His tone was soft and gentle. Teasing even. “We are talking about a marriage, you know. A real marriage. And like you, I’m fully prepared to make it work.”

“Yes, but.”

He had her bundled into the coat and moving out the door before Cassie could even think. She stopped on the step, stubbornly refusing to be moved.

“Wait a minute!”

Jeff stopped politely, tugging his collar up around his ears as the cold north wind whipped down from the roof and tugged at their clothes. His eyes were mildly inquiring and he didn’t move his hand from under her elbow.

“Is there a problem?”

“Yes! I don’t need a ring.” She said it fast so she couldn’t retract it.”And there won’t.be any big wedding. This is an agreement between us two. That’s all.”

“I don’t think so.” He grinned boyishly.

Cassie felt the strong warm arm around her shoulders as he hugged her against his side. If he had ordered or hollered she wouldn’t have listened. But this soft cajoling was something entirely different.

“I asked you to marry me. You agreed. That means we’re going to be man and wife. And I’m going to give you a pledge of my commitment.”

“Yes, but.”

He cut her off, blithely ignoring her objections.

“We will now move to the next stage of this courtship which entails finding an appropriate ring for this finger.” He rubbed her ring finger with his hand.

“Yes, but.” Cassie stopped as his lips brushed across hers softly.

“I am not finished, Cassandra.” His deep voice whispered in the still silent evening, effectively stifling her protests. “Maybe we’re not the traditional love match, but we can still go into this as friends. And totally committed to making this marriage work. I don’t want anyone thinking anything else. The ring will solidify our position.”

He sounded so loverlike one moment and businesslike and coldly calculating the next that a shiver of apprehension rippled down her spine to dissipate like the morning dew at his next softly spoken words.