Shadows And Light

“In the meantime, I’ll take a look at these other two guys,” Karen said, turning to Craig’s teammates.

Feeling as if someone had taken a bottle brush to her insides, Susan acted quickly, although she ached to stroke his close-cropped black hair. In unconsciousness all the harshness faded from Craig’s features. His lips, now parted, revealed his true vulnerability. A sudden heated memory flashed through her, of his mouth moving in reverent adoration across her own. How could she ever forget Craig’s one intense, questing kiss? He’d been so shy around her, so hesitant and always a gentleman.

Steve had been the opposite, Susan admitted, completing the last of the dressing around Craig’s thigh. He’d come on strong, sweeping her off her feet, savoring life and savoring her. Steve had showered her with presents. So many gifts! Almost weekly, he would buy her something—jewelry, perfume, candy, flowers. His parents were rich and affluent. Guilt, shame and sadness flowed through Susan as she made the comparison. Craig’s parents were Idaho wheat farmers. He’d had little money and often sent what he did have home to help his mother, who’d been forced to run the farm by herself since his father’s back injury. No, Craig hadn’t been able to afford material gifts, but he’d given Susan something money could never buy: a deep friendship—one she’d thought would last forever.

Her heart, nearly breaking at the way her life had twisted and turned, Susan looked up to see a navy corpsman, a black youth in his early twenties, standing by to take Craig to surgery.

“He ready to go, ma’am?”

“Yes,” Susan whispered.

“I’m Randy Peters, ma’am,” he said, giving her hand a brief, firm shake.

“Susan Evans,” she responded automatically, attempting a smile.

Peters grinned. “He ain’t so lucky, ya know.”

“What do you mean?” Susan straightened and wiped her brow. The ER had a hushed quality now as everyone worked frantically over the remaining patients.

“This dude’s injured bad enough to get a whole month’s rest in this place.”

Susan stood digesting the corpsman’s wisdom as he pulled the gurney bearing Craig Taggart down the aisle toward the operating room. Craig would remain here, at her hospital, to recover. The realization sank into her, making her feel shaky and uncertain. Dear God, what was happening? Camp Reed was supposed to be a safe haven where she could forget the tortured past and try to collect the broken pieces of her heart. Instead, she was being ripped further apart, in ways she’d never fathomed. Craig had dropped back into her life when she was feeling the most fragile, and his anger was shocking because it was aimed directly at her.

Turning away, Susan forced herself to go help Karen, who was still ministering to Craig’s two least-injured men. In no time, they had been treated and released. As she joined Karen at the sink to wash her hands, Susan saw the questioning look in her friend’s eyes.

“You’re pale. Are you okay?” Karen asked.

“Yes…fine.”

“This isn’t like San Francisco, is it?”

Susan shook her head. “No…it isn’t. And you love it. I can tell.”

Karen lifted her head and surveyed the ER area. “God help me, Susan, but I do love this. It’s where my heart is. This is where I can be at my best. I can help save lives here as never before.”

“I know.”

“You’re acting funny, Susan.” Karen flung the water from her hands and allowed Susan to help her into another pair of surgical gloves. “Did you know that captain?”

Swallowing hard, Susan whispered, “Karen, that’s Craig Taggart. My friend at Annapolis? He was Steve’s best friend, too.”

“Ohh…I remember.” Karen rolled her eyes. “Did you two stay in touch?”

With a shake of her head, Susan said, “No. Craig just disappeared out of my life after I got engaged to Steve. I wouldn’t have thought he’d do that.”

“People are funny,” Karen murmured.

“Don’t I know,” Susan replied, thinking of how her love for Steve had slowly turned into a dark nightmare for both of them.

“Interesting,” Karen said, then grinned. “Well, who knows? Maybe you’ll get a second chance.”

“Second chance?”

Karen’s smile widened. “Seems to me, if I recall correctly, you really liked Craig.”

“He was my friend,” Susan protested, frowning. “Or used to be,” she added.

“This is a great chance, you know,” Karen tossed over her shoulder, as she turned to go find Dr. Finlay and ask for instructions.

“Chance for what?”

“To right wrongs.” She turned back toward Susan.

“There’s nothing to right,” Susan said, feeling her heart break even more. “My past can’t be undone, Karen.”

Karen patted her shoulder. “Hey, don’t look so down. Chin up. Things happen for a reason. Good reasons,” she admonished gently. “From what little I saw, he’s upset, but I’m sure it’s because he cares for his men.”

Hurt thrummed through Susan as she followed Karen down the aisle to help assist another doctor. She was so confused, trying to move through a morass of emotions and answer questions about Craig’s unexpected behavior at the same time. He had been so much like her back at Annapolis—open and honest. In fact, it had been their mutual shyness that initially had drawn them to each other. With Craig, she had felt safe to confide her hopes, wishes and dreams. Hurt ate at Susan. What was she going to do now that Craig was here in her nursing world? There was no way she could get transferred out, and Craig was going to be stuck in the hospital for recovery whether he wanted to be or not. Trying desperately not to allow the past to suffocate her, she tried to force her attention back to her work.

The agony and anger in Craig’s eyes had sent its message, loud and clear: he didn’t ever want to see her again. Susan had felt his chilling dislike. But how was she going to be able to handle it, when right now she could barely hold her own life together in the wake of Steve’s death?

Chapter Three

“Miss Evans, you got a bear on your hands,” warned Corpsman Peters as he ambled over to her desk outside the recovery ward.

Susan lifted her head from signing in on the watch book. From 2100 to 0600, she would be head nurse of the watch—her first night of duty in Recovery. She would have responsibility for twenty men and the supervision of three navy corpsmen who were to stand the watch with her, she knew. Randy Peters’s ebony features glistened in the gloom of the small, stuffy office.

“What do you mean, Randy?” She had already decided to address the people who worked for her by their first names. Although in other spectra of the navy the enlisted were called either by rating or by their last name, Susan felt that that policy created a chasm between her and her people, one she didn’t want to foster. Randy was a large-boned young man with a broad, kind face. She had appreciated his friendly manner in ER and now was silently grateful that he was on her watch section.

“What bear?” she asked, straightening and closing the book. Once an hour she would have to make rounds in the ward, checking on her various marine and navy patients to make sure their conditions were stable. Thankfully, Karen was the doctor on the watch. Susan knew the routine: one doctor for three wards, with a nurse overlooking each ward. If there was a problem, it was up to Susan to notify the doctor pronto.

Randy grinned slightly. “It’s the new patient, Captain Taggart. Man, he’s uptight.”

Susan’s heart slammed against her rib cage. Craig was in her ward. She hadn’t even had a chance to look over the roster of patients, which would be her first duty. She had to check each of the clipboards that hung on the ends of the beds, noting any physician directions regarding IVs, medication, shots and such.

Susan struggled to keep her professional demeanor, so Randy wouldn’t see her alarm. “Oh?” she said coolly. “What seems to be the captain’s problem?”

“Ah, you know how recons are. They’re like family. The captain’s needing a pain med, I think. He wants to know how two of his men are doing. I told him I’d go get the duty nurse and find out what I could.” With a shrug, Randy asked, “You’re new to all of this, Miss Evans, but don’t look too upset. The captain is tight with his men. At least he cares about them.”

“How long have you been here, Randy?” Susan asked as she draped a stethoscope across her neck so both ends hung down the front of her white uniform. Sooner or later she’d have to see Craig. She might as well get it over with now. But the decision didn’t stop her heart from pounding in her chest, or help her feel less shaky.

“Two and a half years, ma’am. I was a corpsman out in the field with the marines until I got my foot broke,” Randy said, pointing to his left shoe. “I want to go back out, but Doc Finlay says I’ll never be a field corpsman again ’cause of my injury.”

“That’s too bad, Randy. You look like the kind of guy who enjoys the great outdoors.”

“I sure do, ma’am.” His eyes twinkled.

“Why don’t you show me the routine,” Susan said. When she saw the corpsman’s brows move up in surprise, she added, “We’re a team here, Randy. I’m going to rely heavily on the corpsmen assigned to my ward for some time, until I get used to the system. The patients’ welfare comes first, so consider yourself my teacher. Okay?”