The Loner

“Being a gunslinger? Yeah, I guess it is.”

He ate, starved now. Dakota could tell he’d probably dropped ten pounds, and his stomach was reminding him of that loss in spades. He could feel the food taking hold, reviving his body, replacing his lost strength.

“Do you miss it? I mean, being a SEAL?” Jason seemed to miss his platoon, always wanting to return and go back to Iraq to be with them, not stick around here to visit their parents or her. The military was a powerful draw, but she couldn’t grasp why.

Her voice had gone soft and it was as if she had whispered against his skin. Did Shelby know how her husky voice affected him? Dakota shrugged. “Yeah, I miss it.” More than she would ever realize.

“Do you have family around here?”

“I did. My parents died in a snowstorm after their truck slid off on a back road and got stuck in a ditch.”

“I’m so sorry. When did it happen?” Shelby knew of other people who had died of hypothermia during the long, brutal winter across Wyoming.

Pain filtered through Dakota and he stopped eating. He could tell she wasn’t asking to create social conversation. She cared. “I was eighteen.” As dark rage and grief stirred deep within him, he quickly tried to shut down all feelings. “It was a long time ago,” he said more gruffly than he’d intended.

Shelby sensed a shift in Dakota. She saw devastation in his eyes and then he quickly dipped his head, breaking contact with her. Moistening her lips, she asked softly, “Do you stay in touch with your SEAL teammates?”

“Yes, with a few of the guys.”

“They’re like your family?” He had none of his own, so she could see Dakota regarding the guys he worked with as family.

“Yes, they are. How’d you get so wise for someone so young?”

Shelby shrugged, a ribbon of sadness flowing wide and slow through her. “Ever since I found out you were a SEAL, I’ve been trying to understand and learn about them. Because Jason, my brother, was an Army Ranger, never spoke about his life or what he did in the military. When he came home on leave, he never talked about what he did over in Iraq. Not ever.” Shelby felt shut out and disconnected from her brother, whom she loved so much. Every time Jason came home on leave, there was a thick wall standing between him, her parents and herself. No matter what she tried to do to reach him, she failed.

“Why?”

“Because you’re a big question mark in my world.” Because you remind me of Jason. I couldn’t save him. Maybe I can save you? The words were nearly torn out of Shelby. Stunned by the powerful, invisible connection Dakota had wielded with her, she was unable to deny it or stop it from happening.

A rush of desire coursed through Dakota. There was such an openness to her, as if she trusted the world. How could she? There were bad guys everywhere. It was a world covered in camouflage as far as he was concerned. A powerful sense of protection toward her welled up within him. Okay, she was a law enforcement officer and knew how to take care of herself. But here, in her home, in this room, there was a terrible vulnerability that suddenly shone in her expression, especially her eyes. Something had happened to her. That much he knew. It was his sixth sense working. It always did when there was danger or threat.

Dakota tried to probe beyond her expression. Shelby was good at hiding, he discovered, but she couldn’t stop it from showing in her eyes. If he sensed correctly, something tragic had happened recently to her. But what? He couldn’t ask now. Maybe later. He managed a one-cornered smile, wanting to lift her out of the darkness only she knew about. “Don’t be too curious about me. I’m a dead end.”

She sighed and wrapped her arms around her drawn-up knee. Dakota was trying to tease her, but right now her gut was a knot. Her heart was squeezing with fresh grief, which wouldn’t stop flowing outward and making her want to cry. “Interested, not curious. There’s a difference.”

He smiled thinly and picked up the mug of steaming coffee. “Interested why?”

She took his challenge and tried to deflect the real truth. “I like to learn about people. I see them as my teachers.” Jason had been a hard teacher, nearly breaking her. She’d loved her brother with a fierceness that couldn’t ever be controlled or stopped. They had been so close growing up. So many happy memories until...

“So, I’m a bug under your microscope of life?” he teased, a grin edging his mouth.

“I wouldn’t say a bug,” Shelby protested. Jason and Dakota were so much alike, it scared her. The PTSD was their shared, dark connection. Struggling, Shelby forced herself out of her own personal mire and focused on the man in her bed. How handsome Dakota was when he was relaxed. It was a remarkable change from meeting him out in the hospital parking lot. And where had his PTSD symptoms gone? She wondered if he was peaceful because she was here with him. Did one person make that big of a difference to someone like Dakota? Did she really have that much influence over him?

Shelby had never had that kind of effect on Jason. He grew irritated and irrational when she tried to talk with him. But Dakota was different, or at least, for the time being. The terrible, unanswered questions ate at her. Had she pushed Jason too far? All she wanted was that closeness they’d shared before he’d joined the military.

“What, then?” Dakota challenged, relishing the fresh coffee.

Shelby fumbled, avoiding his sharpened gaze. There was nothing weak about Dakota, the beard making him all the more male and therefore dangerous to her emotions.

“Out of words for once? Or are you carefully choosing our battles?”

Upon hearing the growl of his teasing, she lifted her chin. Her smile faded. The grief from her past stained the happiness she felt being around him. “I...sensed something about you, Dakota. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I felt your desperation, your need.” Shelby gave him a helpless look. “I knew someone once, who was a lot like you.” She choked back the rest of the admission. It was too painful to say. Too painful and shaming to admit. Finally, her voice husky with emotion, she admitted, “There’s just something about you that draws me.”

Her softly spoken honesty rattled him as nothing else ever could. Seeing the flush across her cheeks, the sudden, unexpected grief shadowing her expression, Dakota felt like the proverbial bull in a china shop. Before he could think of something to say, Shelby looked as if she was going to cry.

She quickly uncurled from the bed and picked up the tray from his lap. “I brought some of your clothes down from the cabin the other day and washed them. You’ll find fresh Levi’s, a T-shirt and socks in the bathroom across the hall.” She turned and left the room without another word.

Well hell! That went well, didn’t it, Carson? Shelby had been generous with him. And he’d acted like a total jerk. Something deeper, more visceral was going on between them. Dakota threw off the covers in frustration. He had to get out of here or he’d do something really stupid. He felt protective toward Shelby. He wanted to hunt her down, pull her into his arms and love her until they both died of pleasure. Snorting to himself, Dakota knew he was no prize. He was a horse’s ass, if anything. Looking around, he felt more like his old self before the infection damn near snuffed out his life. He was strong and solid again. He spotted a towel, washcloth and soap on the dresser, and walked over to pick them up.