The Right Woman

Ethan grimaced. “Daddy’s really looking forward to this.”

Jassy heard the displeasure in Ethan’s voice. Her bottom lip dropped. “Mommy said I could.”

Serena quickly took her out of Ethan’s arms and kissed her. “Yes, my baby. Since you did so well in your gymnastics class I said you could have a treat.”

“I jump real high, don’t I, Mommy?”

“Higher than anyone else.”

“And I can turn a flip, too.” She looked at Sarah. “Wanna see?”

Serena held her tighter to keep her from getting down. “You can put your shorts on tonight and show Sari and Gran everything you can do. I think Daddy’s ready to go.” Serena kissed her again. “Have a good time.”

Ethan took Jassy from Serena, giving his wife a lingering kiss in the process. “See you later,” he whispered to Serena, then walked out the door with Jassy talking non-stop.

Sarah opened the refrigerator. “I made chicken salad last night so I wouldn’t have to cook today. I’ll cut up some fruit and we’ll have lunch.”

“I’ll make the tea,” Serena offered.

For the next thirty minutes they were busy preparing and eating the meal. Gran sat back and smiled.

“It’s so good to have my girls together, but now I’m going to take a nap. I haven’t worked this hard in ages.”

After Gran left, they cleaned the kitchen. Sarah poured more tea into their cups. “Let’s go into the den.”

Serena curled up in a comfortable chair and Sarah sat on the sofa. She kicked off her shoes and drew up her knees.

Serena sipped her tea and waited.

“How are things in Junction Flat?” Sarah asked, unable to say the words she wanted to, had to, say.

“Great. I love the peace and quiet and I love teaching.”

“I don’t have to ask how you and Ethan are doing. You’re still so in love.”

“Yes.” Serena grinned. “That will never change, but no marriage is perfect. We have problems, too.”

“Ethan’s overprotectiveness with Jassy?”

Serena brushed back her hair. “It was such a battle to let her take gymnastics and it all stems from his fear of losing her like he lost Ryan. His son was about Jassy’s age when he fell off those boxes and died from the injuries to his head.”

“It has to be devastating to lose a child.”

“Yes, and Ethan knows he goes overboard. He’s just so afraid, but I’ve told him that we can’t keep her locked up away from the world. We have to let her grow.”

“What did he say?”

“He understands, but it’s difficult for him to do. I explained the running and jumping would be good for her. She’d learn how to fall.”

“Did he agree?”

“Not for an instant and he was so nervous watching her I thought I’d have to tie him to his seat.”

“He just loves her,” Sarah said.

“Yes. Ethan loves very deeply. That’s one of the things I love most about him.”

“You’re very lucky.”

“Hmm.” Serena’s eyes grew dreamy. “And I have a solution to our problem.”

“What?”

“Another baby.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow. “Does Ethan agree?” Ethan had gone through such pain over losing his son that he’d never wanted to have another child. It had taken Serena a year before she was convinced that he was ready.

“Let’s just say I’m working on him. He spends all day with Jassy and when she starts school, he’s going to be lost without her. Another child would definitely divide his attention and worry.”

As Sarah listened, she wished her life was that simple, her problems so easy to solve. Serena and Ethan loved each other and they would work out their differences, but Sarah feared her pain was too deep to ever assuage. She had to try, though. She couldn’t stay in denial forever.

Serena watched her for a moment. “My life’s not what you wanted to talk about. What’s wrong, Sarah?”

Sarah rested her chin on her knees and stared down at her toes. She used to paint her nails, but she hadn’t done that in years.

“Sarah—” Serena prompted.

She took a long breath. “I’ve told you so many times that I’m fine. I realized today that I’m not.”

“What happened?”

Sarah told her about Brooke Wallace.

“How awful.”

“It is,” Sarah agreed. “When she asked me if the shame and horror would ever go away, I should have been able to say yes. But I couldn’t honestly say that, and it shook me.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her that in time with a concentrated effort she could put it behind her and that she had to talk to people.” She shook her head. “I haven’t done any of that. I pushed what happened to me to the back of my mind and I’ve never really faced it or conquered all those bad feelings. Instead I’ve burrowed further and further inside myself until…” She stopped. “Do you know what the cops call me?”

“No.”

“Colder Than Ice. And it’s true. I’m frozen inside and I can’t feel anymore. I won’t allow myself to feel. I can’t…I…”

“Oh, Sarah.” Serena jumped up and went to her, holding her tight. “I think you’ve done remarkably well considering all you’ve been through.”

“No. I just did what I had to—going through the motions of living.”