You are now.
It still felt unreal. If she didn’t actually feel like Leo’s wife, how would she ever feel like a princess? Like a queen?
Pushing the thought aside, she made herself comfortable on one of the leather sofas in the main cabin of the plane. Just as planned, she and Leo had made their appearance outside the palace doors. A crowd had surrounded the palace; posies and bouquets of flowers had been piled up by the gates. Alyse had spent a few minutes chatting, smiling and laughing, while Leo had looked on, his smile faint and a little bit wooden. While the people loved the handsome, enigmatic prince, he didn’t engage the crowds the way she did, and never had. This, she knew, was why Maldinia’s monarchy needed her. Why Leo needed her.
Nothing else.
Now, with the crowds and reporters gone, she wondered just how she and Leo would spend their time alone. Judging by the way he’d disappeared into the jet’s study, alone was the operative word.
She felt a sudden stab of annoyance, which at least felt stronger than the misery that had been swamping her since their marriage. No matter how fake their relationship was, Leo’s determined ignoring of her was just plain rude.
Fuelled by her outrage, Alyse rose from the sofa and went to find Leo in the study. He sat at a desk, his dark head bent over a sheaf of papers. He was dressed for travel in a crisp blue button-down shirt and dark trousers, but he still looked magnificent, his muscles taut and powerful underneath the starched cotton of his shirt. He glanced up as she approached, his dark brows snapping together.
‘What is it?’
‘I just wondered if you intended to spend the entire time in your study,’ she said, her voice coming out close to a snap, and Leo looked at her in something close to bewilderment.
‘Does it matter?’
Impatience warred with hurt. ‘A bit, Leo. I understand you don’t want things to change between us, but a little conversation could be nice. Or are we going to spend the next week trying to avoid each other?’
He still looked flummoxed, and now also a bit annoyed. ‘I’m not trying to avoid you.’
‘It just comes naturally, then?’
‘We’ve been on this plane for ten minutes,’ he replied, his voice becoming so very even. ‘Don’t you think you can entertain yourself for a little while longer?’
Alyse shook her head impatiently. She could see how Leo might think she was being unreasonable, but it was so much more than this one journey. ‘I can entertain myself just fine,’ she said. ‘But I don’t particularly enjoy living in isolation.’
Leo’s mouth thinned into a hard line. ‘The plane will take off in a few minutes. I’ll join you in the cabin before it does.’
His words seemed so grudgingly given, yet Alyse knew at this point it was better simply to accept them at face value. Now was not the time to force a confrontation, to confess that she didn’t think she could live like this for so much as a morning, much less a lifetime. This was, after all, what she’d agreed to all those years ago when King Alessandro had spelled it out so plainly.
Feelings come in time, don’t they? She’d built her hopes on that one throwaway remark, clearly meant only to appease her. She’d lived for six years believing it could be true. She might as well have built castles in the air.
Leo had already turned back to his papers, so after a second’s uneasy pause Alyse turned around and went to the cabin.
He didn’t come out for take-off. Her annoyance turned to a simmering anger as the staff served her sparkling water instead of the champagne left chilling in a bucket, clearly meant for the two of them to toast their marriage.
She avoided their eyes and reached for her e-reader, bitterly glad she’d filled it with newly purchased books before she’d left. Clearly she’d be getting a lot of reading done on her honeymoon.
A few hours into the flight Leo finally made an appearance. ‘Sorry about that,’ he said, sitting across from her. ‘I had a bit of work to catch up on before we go off the grid.’
Despite his casually made apology, Alyse couldn’t let go of her anger. ‘If you don’t want your staff to gossip, perhaps you should be a bit more attentive to your bride,’ she answered tartly. ‘We’ve only been married for one day, you know.’
Leo stared at her, nonplussed. ‘Even couples wildly in love have work to do.’
‘Even on their honeymoon?’
He narrowed his gaze. ‘I have a duty to my country—’
‘This whole marriage is about duty.’ She cut him off and realised too late how shrewish and hurt she sounded. How ridiculous, considering the nature of their relationship.
‘Careful,’ he said softly, glancing at the closed cabin doors.
‘Our whole life is going to be about being careful,’ she retorted before she could stop herself. She hated how her hurt was spilling out of her. She’d kept it hidden for so long, why was she weakening now?
‘And you always knew that.’ The glance he gave her was repressive. ‘I think we should save this conversation for another, more private time.’
‘At least I have a conversation to look forward to, then.’ Leo just stared at her, and Alyse looked away, trying to reclaim some of the cool composure she’d cloaked herself with during the last few years. She’d never lit into him like this, never showed him how much his indifference hurt her or how much more she wanted from him.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asked after a moment and he sounded both curious and exasperated. ‘You’ve never acted like this before.’
‘We’ve never been alone like this before,’ she answered, her face still averted. ‘I just don’t want you to ignore or avoid me for the entire week. I’ll go crazy.’
Leo was silent for a long moment. ‘I don’t mean to ignore or avoid you,’ he said finally. ‘I’m just acting as we always have. I thought you accepted the nature of our relationship—preferred it, as I do.’
Alyse struggled to keep her face composed, her voice even, but his words hurt so much. Too much. ‘I’ve accepted it,’ she said carefully. ‘But it feels different now. We’re married, after all, and we’re going to spend more time together. Time alone. It would be nice if we could enjoy it, at least.’
That was so much less than she wanted, but at least it was a start—if Leo agreed.
He didn’t answer, just reached for the champagne and poured two flutes, the bubbles fizzing and bursting against the crystal sides. ‘I suppose that’s not an unreasonable request,’ he said eventually, and Alyse didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at his grudging tone.
‘I’m glad you think so,’ she answered, and accepted a glass of champagne.
He eyed her evenly. ‘I suppose we should have discussed our expectations of what our married life would look like beforehand.’
‘Would it have made any difference?’
‘Not to me, perhaps.’ He raised his glass. ‘To what shall we toast?’
Alyse couldn’t think of a single thing. ‘To the future,’ she finally said, and heard the bleakness in her voice. ‘Whatever it may hold.’
Nodding in acceptance, Leo drank.
Leo watched Alyse slowly raise the flute of champagne to her lips. Her face was pale, her eyes wide and dark. She looked rather unbearably sad, he thought, and he had no idea why. What did she want from him? And why, after so long accepting the status quo, did she seem to want things to change?
Shifting in his seat, he turned towards the window. Outside the sky was an endless, brilliant blue. He thought of the week they were to spend on St Cristos, which was apparently the most elite honeymoon destination in the world—chosen, of course, to perpetuate the myth of their relationship. The relationship—a word he didn’t even like to use—that he didn’t want to change.
But it would have to change in some ways as they spent more time together, he acknowledged. Alyse had a point, even if he didn’t like it.
And she seemed to want such change. Want more. Leo felt everything in him recoil at the thought. He didn’t do relationships, or intimacy, or emotion, or any of it, yet it seemed Alyse expected a little of all of the above.
He could manage some conversation, he told himself. Some simple pursuits and pleasures...such as the consummation of their marriage. Perhaps he and his wife could find some sympathy with each other in bed. They certainly didn’t seem to have much out of it, although he was honest enough to admit he’d never really tried.
He didn’t want to get to know Alyse. He didn’t want their relationship to be anything than what it was: a carefully managed façade. He never had.
Yet now it seemed she wanted something else. Something more.