Chapter Thirteen
As they lay together, sated and relaxed, Geena’s stomach growled.
Matt chuckled. “I heard that. I’ll fetch our lunch.” Easing away from her, he made short work of the condom and stood, six feet three inches of sculpted manhood.
Despite their recent activities, the sight had the power to dazzle her. She worked regularly with gorgeous movie stars. But she didn’t get naked with them. She sat up and looked around for her clothes. They were scattered everywhere.
She untangled her panties from the wad of denim that was her jeans. “We should get dressed and eat lunch in the house.”
“Let’s not get dressed and eat right here.”
“And then what?”
He winked. On Matt, a wink looked really good. “We’ll have dessert.”
“Are you by any chance putting off the moment when you walk into the house you bought?”
“I’m putting off the moment when you get dressed.”
She got to her feet and stood facing him. “Flattering as that is, I can’t shake the feeling that you’re reluctant to go inside.”
“After all the great things that happened out here, the inside of the house has lost its appeal.”
“I get that, but you have to take a look sometime. Your family will expect to hear your thoughts on the place.”
He shoved his fingers through his hair. “The idea of buying a ranch sight unseen sounded like a bold move back in LA, especially when Mom and Dad gave it their approval. But what if I hate it?”
“Then you renovate. Aren’t you expecting to do that, anyway?”
“I am. Damon and Phil are all set to do the work. But I’ve never bought a house, let alone figured out what needed to be done with it.”
“That’s all the more reason to go inside. I don’t pretend to know anything, either, but we can’t talk about what we haven’t seen. You have to start somewhere, get a general idea. Then you can bring Damon and Phil over and work out the specifics.”
“Okay.” He started pulling on his clothes. “That’s another thing I have to decide. They’re refusing to charge for labor. Just materials. I need to come up with a way to compensate them that doesn’t involve giving them a check.”
“How about tickets to the premiere?” She dressed quickly. She’d always been eager to see the house but Matt had been a powerful distraction.
His laughter had a bitter edge. “Yeah, right.”
“Why not? That’s a huge gift, especially if you fly them over.”
“Is it? Months ago I set aside a bunch of money so I could treat anybody who wanted to be there. That was before this nastiness happened. Now I wonder if anyone will want to come or even if they should.”
“Of course they’ll want to come.” Her heart broke for him, but this wouldn’t be the only time he’d have to face ugliness. Hollywood was filled with gossip and innuendo. She spoke softly. “Matt, I know this is awful, but unfortunately it’s part of the job.”
“I know. I just didn’t expect it first time out of the gate when my family is so excited for me. Eventually I’ll get used to the way things are. They will, too. But I hate that it’s spoiled something that was so shiny and new.”
“Are you sure it has? I haven’t been here long but I’ve already seen what the people in your family are made of. They won’t let something like that keep them from celebrating your big moment. I’ll bet nothing’s spoiled in their minds. They love you.”
Sighing, he picked up his hat and walked over to her. “You’re right.” He grimaced. “You’d think by now I’d believe in their loyalty.” Handing over her glasses, he put on his hat. “Thanks for reminding me.”
She hadn’t meant to chide him but he’d taken it that way. Stepping closer, she touched his arm. “You’ve been sabotaged by someone you respected, someone you trusted. That would mess with anybody’s head, but when you’ve dealt with something similar in the past, it has to be even more devastating.”
He gave her a long look. “Yes, ma’am, that about sums it up.” His gusty sigh of impatience was followed by a quick shake of his head. “But my past is no excuse. I’ve had the counseling. I spent more than ten years living at Thunder Mountain Ranch. Everything that was broken has been fixed. At least, I hope to hell it has. Otherwise I have no business...”
“What?” The haunted expression in his eyes made her stomach churn.
“I have no business wanting to be with you.”
“I want to be with you, too.” Her grip tightened on his arm. “I love how I feel when we’re together. And I’m not just talking about the sex.”
“Neither am I. You’re...you’re magic.” His jaw tensed. “But I’m starting to see a pattern. When I’m focused on you, everything’s fine. Then I think about the injustice of it all, I lose my cool. That’s not a good sign. Maybe I’ve been kidding myself. Maybe I’m still the same screwed-up kid I used to be.”
She fought panic. “I’m sure you’re not.”
“Easy for you to say when you don’t know what I was like. Any little thing would set me off. If somebody even suggested I’d made a mistake, or that I’d taken what wasn’t mine, I lashed out.”
“But you haven’t lashed out.”
“No, because I switched from lashing out to shutting down.” He paused. “Does that ring a bell?”
She remembered the moment in her office when suddenly there was an invisible wall between them. “But you had a reason. I wasn’t being—”
“Doesn’t matter whether I had a reason. It’s a bad coping mechanism and I’m supposed to be over it. I caused a problem for you by reacting that way. You had to make this whole damn trip because of my behavior.”
“And I’m not the least bit sorry I flew out here! Are you?”
“No.” His gaze softened. “I probably should be, but I guess I’m pretty selfish. What we’ve had together has been incredible. I’m glad you ran after me.”
“Me, too. And I wish you weren’t making it sound like what we’ve had together is going away.”
He cupped her face in both hands. “I could be a bad bet, Geena.”
“Let me decide that, okay?”
“Not so easy.” He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks. “You’d need a hell of a lot more background in order to make an informed decision.”
“Then fill me in, catch me up.”
“Don’t know if that would work. Whenever I’m with you I’d rather kiss than tell.”
“Okay by me.” She sensed that the telling would be hard for him. “A lot of kissing, a little telling.”
“Considering what happened today, I’d want to go way beyond kissing.”
“So would I. I don’t see a problem here.”
“The sex is really good.”
“Still no problem.”
“It’s likely to interfere with your judgment.”
She met that comment with silence, unwilling to admit he had a point.
“See? You know I’m right. That means I should back off, at least until I know whether or not I have my act together.”
“What if I don’t feel like backing off? This is a two-person activity, you know.”
“Are you threatening to seduce me?”
“I believe so, yes.”
“Then you’ll probably succeed and that won’t get us anywhere.”
“That’s your opinion. I maintain it gets us all kinds of places, paradise being one. I like it there.”
He held her gaze for several seconds and the struggle in his blue eyes was obvious.
“Tell you what,” she said softly. “Let’s go look at the house. We’ll have lunch. We’ll talk. And then...we’ll see.”
He took a shaky breath. “Okay.”
Matt opened the front door and ushered Geena into the entry hall of his house. “This feels weird, like I’m trespassing.”
“You’ll get used to it the longer you’re here.” She walked straight ahead through an arch into the dim living room, where olive-green drapes covered a window. “Let’s check out your view.” She reached for the cord on the drapes and paused midmotion. “You should open them.”
That made him smile. “This isn’t the opening of a Broadway show. Go right ahead.”
She pulled the cord and the drapes slowly parted to reveal a smudged picture window with a view of the Bighorns. “Bingo! I thought you might have a view of the mountains from this side of the house. The window’s old as the hills, which is why there’s so much dust on the floor. Look, you can see our footprints.”
Sure enough, there were his large ones and her smaller ones. But not dainty. There was nothing fragile about Geena, and he needed to remember that. She’d survived living in Hollywood with an overbearing mother and she’d come out of that determined to do her own thing. She wouldn’t allow him to selfishly mistreat her. That was a comforting thought.
Next they explored the side of the house that contained three kid-sized bedrooms and a small bathroom tiled in pink with green fixtures. The grout was stained and the faucets were corroded. Geena went in and barely had room to turn around. She glanced at Matt. “Any ideas?”
“A few. Most of them involve a sledgehammer.”
She grinned at him. “See? Now you’re getting the idea. Destroy the bathroom and start over. Enlarge it. Maybe knock out a wall between two of the bedrooms and put in another bath.”
He nodded as he envisioned the changes. “That would make a big difference. Right now it seems cramped and dated.” Worse yet, it reminded him of the kind of crummy places he’d lived in with his mother.
“Plus it would feel more like yours because you’d be putting your stamp on it.”
“True. Okay, let’s go see the other side. Maybe it’s better.”
It was. The kitchen appliances needed updating but he liked the black and white tile on the counters. Creating an arch between the kitchen and dining areas would open up that space. Finally they walked into the master bedroom and adjoining bath.
“This is nice.” She turned in a slow circle in the middle of the bedroom. “You have views of the mountains through the west windows and a shade tree on the east side in case you want to sleep in.”
“If I have horses I won’t sleep in.” But if he had Geena in bed with him, he’d have a conflict. Without a doubt he’d wake up wanting her.
“Right. Up at dawn, in bed before ten.”
Yeah, something would be up at dawn, all right. The early bedtime appealed to him, though. With a woman like Geena, he might suggest they climb in around nine. “That schedule must seem really strange to you.”
“It would in LA, but not here. This morning was gorgeous, and having animals depending on you is a great reason to swing your feet over the edge of the bed at dawn. It’s a lot more exciting than fighting rush-hour traffic.”
“Or catching the four-forty-five bus to the studio for a five o’clock makeup call.”
“You could afford a car service now, Matt.”
“I know.” He gave her a crooked smile. “Old habits die hard and the bus feels familiar. I can afford a better apartment, too, but moving takes time and I haven’t had much to spare. When I get back I’ll look into hiring a car service, though. It would be more convenient, especially at that hour in the morning.”
“I don’t know how you can deal with those early calls. Either you or the makeup artists.”
“It goes with the territory. I love acting, and if it can pay enough to maintain this ranch, I’ll be a very lucky man.” But the ranch wouldn’t be much fun unless he had someone who’d enjoy it with him. He’d never craved solitude, maybe because he’d spent so much time alone in the first twelve years of his life.
The idea that he’d be living here by himself, or at best with a hired hand, hadn’t occurred to him. He’d impulsively decided that a small ranch would be both a good investment and an excellent getaway. Yes, he could invite his family over, but he might end up spending most of his time at Thunder Mountain.
“Why the frown?”
Geena’s question penetrated the fog of his increasingly negative thoughts. He looked up and his first instinct was to stonewall. Oh, boy. He took a deep breath and vowed to say what was on his mind. “I was thinking that buying this ranch could be a mistake.”
She studied him for a moment. “Why?”
“For one thing, it’s a lot of house for one person. Or even for two, taking into account the hired hand. If Damon and Phil do the renovations you and I just talked about, it’ll be a very nice house, too.”
“Yes, it will.”
“What if, after all that, I don’t really want to be here?”
“Where would you want to be instead?”
He shrugged. “Over at Thunder Mountain. That’s home.”
“I know.” Her gaze gentled. “I’ll bet very few people walk into a vacant, unfurnished house, especially one that hasn’t been lived in for months, and feel like it’s home.”
“I guess.” Damn, but he wanted to hold her. She was sexy as hell but she also offered comfort. He wanted big helpings of both. He was about to take a step toward her when her stomach growled so loud it made her laugh.
“Sorry. I was about to say that if you just give it time, your feelings about the house might change.”
“They might, but let’s drop the subject and eat our lunch. We were supposed to bring it in here and we didn’t. I’ll go fetch it.”
“Would you please bring my phone in, too?”
“Sure thing.” As he headed out of the room, he vowed to get a grip on his emotions. Although her kindness and understanding made him want to wrap her in his arms, he really shouldn’t do that until he had a better handle on what he was all about.
He retrieved her phone first and tucked it into his pocket. Then he pulled a lunch tote and two stainless steel water bottles out of Navarre’s saddlebags and remembered that Rosie had put some chunks of carrot in there for both horses. So he fed them carrots and discussed his misgivings about continuing a relationship with Geena. Although they were great listeners, they didn’t offer any solutions.
Even so, he felt more in control when he walked back into the house carrying lunch plus the blanket he hadn’t bothered with earlier. Now it could serve as their tablecloth.
The minute he came through the door he heard a rhythmic clicking sound. When he realized what it was, he smiled. Sure enough, when he arrived at the double doors leading into the master bedroom, Geena was humming to herself while she danced around the perimeter of the room.
He leaned in the doorway, tipped back his hat and watched her. This house wouldn’t be too big if she lived in it. Her sunny personality would fill every corner of every room.
She stopped when she noticed him.
“I thought you were supposed to keep dancing when you have an audience.”
“That’s the general rule, but in this case the audience is bringing lunch and I’m starving.”
“I apologize.” He handed over her phone. “We should have eaten a long time ago.”
“Not if that meant skipping all the fun stuff.” She glanced at the blanket.
“I brought this in so we’d have a tablecloth.”
“Okay.” She gave him a sunny smile. “If you don’t mind, I’ll check my messages while you set things up.”
“Absolutely.” He spread out the blanket.
“Well, that figures.” She sighed.
“What?” He set the tote and water bottles on the blanket.
“One of my clients doesn’t think we’re getting him enough attention in the press. I thought I had it handled this morning, but apparently the reporter I contacted hasn’t followed through.”
“Do you need to follow up?”
“I’ll have Larissa do it.” She keyed in a reply to her assistant before sitting cross-legged on the floor next to the blanket. She laid her phone nearby. “Let’s eat.”
“Gotcha.” He chose the opposite side, unzipped the tote and took out both sandwiches. “We have cookies for dessert.”
“Yum.”
“Mom never packs a lunch without putting cookies in it.”
“Speaking of her, I’ve decided that if she’d enjoy seeing me dance, I’ll do it. That’s why I was practicing just now. Well, that and the fact that you were taking forever. I thought you’d be right back.” She unwrapped her sandwich and bit into it. “Mmm.”
That little moan had a predictable effect on his package. He took a deep breath and concentrated on unwrapping his sandwich. “Mom added some carrot pieces so Navarre and Isabeau could have a snack.”
“Aw. That’s adorable. If I’d known that I would have come out with you.”
“I didn’t remember until I opened the saddlebags. Anyway, I think dancing for her is a great idea. She’ll love it.”
“Good. Then I’m committed to making that happen.” She finished another bite of her sandwich and put it down so she could open her water. “Just FYI, today is the first time I’ve danced in almost ten years.”
“I never would have guessed.”
“A professional would be able to tell in a minute. But I can feel it coming back, which is gratifying. I only mention the long layoff because you’re the reason I felt like trying a few steps.”
“Me?” He stared at her in surprise. “Why?”
“My mother’s expectations sucked out the joy of dancing for me, which is why I quit the minute I had the guts to tell her I wasn’t going to follow her plan for my future. Now do you understand?”
“No, not really. Unless you’re saying because of me you’ve decided to go pro, after all.”
“Not even close. I never want to become a professional dancer or singer. But being with you brings me joy. Dancing is my way of expressing that.”
He stared at her. “No one’s ever said something like that to me before.”
“I thought you should know.”
His throat tightened. “Thank you. That’s...special.”
“Yeah, it is.” She smiled at him and picked up her sandwich. “Your turn to talk.”
“About what?”
“Tell me about your mother.”
Chapter Fourteen
Geena had expected the wall to come up between them, and it did. The process was both fascinating and sad. In the blink of an eye, Matt went from open and vulnerable to closed off and protected.
She ate her sandwich and waited to see if that would change. He continued to eat, too, and she wondered if they’d finish the meal in silence and ride back to the ranch without talking. She hadn’t asked him to tell her about his mother. She’d practically ordered him to.
But fair was fair. He’d said she needed more background info, so she’d made up her mind not to discuss superficial things during their very private lunch. If she couldn’t eat her sandwich off his six-pack abs, an image she’d cherished ever since they’d planned this trip, then she might as well search for a crack in the wall.
“Looking back on it, I realize she must have been an addict.”
Geena had her water halfway to her mouth, but she put it down and glanced over at him. He wasn’t looking at her, though. She doubted he was seeing anything in this room.
For a split second she wished she hadn’t asked this of him. It was obviously very difficult. But if they were ever going to have a future, he had to start talking.
“She was always frazzled, distracted, not quite there.” He heaved a sigh. “The day she didn’t pick me up from school I thought she’d just forgotten. It had happened before.” He paused to drink. His throat moved in several long swallows.
She longed to go to him and wrap an arm around his shoulders, but she didn’t dare. That might stop the flow of words in favor of something that was easier for him—touch, physical pleasure. “Did she have a job?”
“She had jobs, or I guess she did. She was gone a lot. She got money somehow.”
Geena immediately thought of prostitution but she wasn’t about to say so. No doubt Matt had thought of it, too.
“There was never enough food in the house. She’d buy a loaf of bread and tell me not to touch it, so I wouldn’t. Then half would be gone and she’d accuse me of eating it. She’d eaten it, but she’d been high and couldn’t remember. Good thing I got free lunches at school, although in the summer...”
“You went hungry.” Grief for that desperate little boy warred with white-hot anger directed at his mother.
“Yes, ma’am. But that wouldn’t have been so bad if she’d only...” He turned toward her, and the pain reflected in his eyes took her breath away. “She didn’t like me much.”
“But she was an addict. She didn’t even like herself, so how could she—”
“I know. The therapist said that, too. My mother wasn’t capable of loving or even liking me. When she blamed me for everything and accused me of stuff I didn’t do, that was her issue, not mine.”
“Right.”
“Damn it, Geena.” He took off his hat and tunneled his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been through all this.” Cramming his hat back on, he pushed himself to his feet. “I thought I was done with it.”
She stood and watched as he began to pace like a caged animal. “I’m no therapist, but I can take a guess at what might be going on.”
He turned to face her. “All right.”
“You worked all this out and accepted that not everyone was like your birth mother. In fact, you haven’t run into anyone remotely like her until you landed this movie role.”
“I don’t buy it. Briana’s nothing like my mother. She’s rich, successful, has a great husband. Maybe she drinks a little too much but she’s not an addict. I’d have figured that out after working so closely with her.”
“She may be more accomplished than your mother. Life has obviously given her more advantages. But from what you’ve told me, they have one big thing in common. They are completely focused on themselves. People they’re in contact with are either an asset or a liability.”
He gazed at her as if letting that sink in. “I was a liability to my mother.”
“Absolutely. You required attention and resources and you were too young to bring anything to the table.” Geena thought of her own mother. “If she’d operated in the environment where I grew up, she would have exploited your looks and talent. She would have made you a child star.”
“So, you’re saying I was lucky?”
“No.” She hesitated to move any closer because this was important and shouldn’t get tangled up in their physical attraction. “If you’re lucky, then you have one, maybe even two parents who love you for yourself, not for the glory you bring to the family unit.”
“Then I definitely was lucky because I ended up at Thunder Mountain. Mom and Dad are happy that I’ve made it this far, but they’re happy for me, not because they’ll get something out of it.”
Dear Lord, she hadn’t thought of that. Rosie and Herb couldn’t ask Matt to help publicize their academy because he might think they were exploiting him. His link to them was pure, without commercial value.
She admired the hell out of the concept but it made her job that much harder. “You’re really fortunate to have Rosie and Herb in your corner.”
“And you.”
“It’s not the same. You pay me for my services.”
“Do I pay you enough to suffer through that long layover in Denver?”
She smiled. “Point taken.”
“Face it, Geena, this entire trip to Wyoming has been a bust. You can’t justify it on a spreadsheet except under the heading Client Rescue Missions.”
“I don’t always think in terms of spreadsheets.” She wasn’t thinking of them now, for sure.
“That’s one of the many things that makes you special.” His gaze was warm at first, friendly and appreciative. Then gradually it darkened. The space between them seemed to shrink and the air grew still and hot.
The fire in his gaze made her burn with longing. They’d talked this through, so what could be the harm in using that blanket for its original purpose?
She reached for him just as her phone chimed with a text from Larissa.
He backed up a step. “Your phone.”
“I’ll get it later.”
“Get it now. See if it’s important.”
“Okay.” With an impatient sigh, she turned and scooped up her phone. Then she let out a groan.
“What is it?”
“She can’t get in touch with the reporter and the client is threatening to leave the agency if we don’t make something happen in the next twenty-four hours. I’d let him leave but he’s high profile and the agency’s new enough that we really can’t afford to lose him.”
