‘That doesn’t sound very encouraging.’
Iolanthe gave a little shrug. ‘Like you said, it is what it is. I knew going into my marriage that it wouldn’t be a love match.’
‘Why did Callos marry you?’ Alekos asked, trying to keep the question level when inside he felt a tormented tangle of too many feelings. ‘Was it really just to cement his position at your father’s company?’
‘Yes. He had no affection for me, I can assure you.’
‘And why did you marry him?’
Disbelief and an unsettling contempt curled her mouth. ‘Can you really ask that, Alekos? I was pregnant.’
‘I would have married you,’ he confessed in a low voice. ‘If you’d just told me the truth...’
‘So it’s back to blaming me?’ she finished. ‘You never said as much, you know. You simply told me you would take care of your responsibilities. How did I know what that meant? Maybe you intended to pay for my abortion.’
He drew back, shocked and deeply insulted. ‘I would have never suggested such a thing.’
‘The point is,’ Iolanthe returned, ‘I didn’t know. And the one time I sought you out, you terrified me. You looked like you hated me, Alekos. And my father was insisting on the marriage. I felt like I had no choice...’ Her voice caught and she blinked rapidly, looking away. ‘You have no idea what it was like.’
‘Iolanthe...’ Regret lashed him and he put his hand on her arm. Iolanthe shrugged him away.
‘I should have never put you in that position,’ Alekos said in a low voice. He’d been so angry when he’d seen her back then, but it had been anger at her father’s unjust treatment. He shouldn’t have taken it out on her.
‘I’m not sure why we’re talking about this,’ Iolanthe said. ‘I thought we said our apologies earlier.’
‘We did, but a simple apology doesn’t erase a decade of pain and sadness. It’s hard to let go of these old hurts.’
‘Hard for you,’ Iolanthe clarified. ‘You can’t forgive me, can you? For not telling you about Niko.’ She stared at him with the same fragile, open honesty she’d had in her eyes when he’d met her ten years ago. Alekos looked away.
How could he answer her? Forgiveness was not part of his nature. He’d held on to his grievances against Talos Petrakis because they defined him. Revenge had always been his goal, his lodestone. He wasn’t sure he knew how to change.
‘Your silence says it all,’ Iolanthe answered with a resigned sigh.
‘I’m still coming to terms with all of this,’ Alekos answered. He took a deep breath, needing to ask the next question even if the answer hurt him. ‘Was Lukas...was he a good father to Niko?’
Iolanthe was silent for so long that Alekos tensed to hear her answer, dread pooling in his stomach. ‘I think he tried at first,’ she finally said. ‘He tried to try, anyway. But...’
Alekos tensed further, knowing he both didn’t want and needed to hear this. ‘But what?’ he asked, his voice coming out in a near-growl.
‘He never bonded with him,’ Iolanthe admitted quietly. ‘He might have tried a little at the very beginning, but, as I said before, Niko was a difficult baby. He had colic, and Lukas couldn’t handle the constant crying. He withdrew from both of us, sleeping in the corporate flat most nights.’
Alekos waited a moment, not trusting himself to sound calm. ‘And later? When Niko wasn’t a baby?’
‘He couldn’t get over that Niko wasn’t his son,’ Iolanthe admitted in a whisper. ‘He started blanking him out, ignoring him as often as he could, just as he did me. Niko tried to reach him at first. They both loved computers and technology, and it should have been something they bonded over. But Lukas wouldn’t even try. I think his rejection hurt Niko terribly.’ A tear slipped down her cheek, splashing onto her thumb. She wiped it away with a shaky laugh. ‘I don’t know why I’m coming apart now—’
‘I wanted you to tell me. I want to know.’
‘I feel guilty,’ Iolanthe burst out, her voice low and tormented. ‘Sometimes I wonder if Niko would have done better with me alone, rather than with a father who had no time for him. If I’d been more confident I wouldn’t have married Lukas. I would have struck out on my own, looking for that adventure I once told you about.’ She smiled through her tears and it felt like a fist closing around Alekos’s heart. ‘I wish I had. Maybe then...maybe then Niko wouldn’t have the struggles he has now.’
Her voice broke on the last words and Alekos reached for her. ‘You can’t lose yourself in regret,’ he said as he stroked her hair and she nestled against him. ‘You have to look towards the future.’ The feel of her body pliant against his pushed his self-control to the limit. He longed to tilt her face up towards his, kiss the tears from her cheeks and then plunder her plush mouth. But Iolanthe needed his comfort and compassion now, not his lust.
‘I suppose you’re right,’ she murmured, staying in the shelter of his arms.
It was advice he gave without taking himself, Alekos knew. For fourteen years he’d let the past guide and control him, shaping every action he took, even now. But unlike Iolanthe he had no regrets. Petrakis deserved to have his company destroyed. It had been built on Alekos’s hard work, after all. Even now he couldn’t let go of that knowledge, that goal. Especially now. Talos Petrakis had conspired to take his son from him as well as his business. He could have told Iolanthe the truth about what had happened long ago, could have allowed her to make up her own mind about who to marry.
Are you really going to blame Petrakis for your own failings? You’re the one who drove her away. Who told her to leave.
Perhaps Iolanthe felt the new tension in his body for she moved out of his embrace, turning her head away from him. ‘It feels strange to be comforted by you.’
Alekos flinched as if he’d been dealt a body blow. ‘I suppose it does.’
‘I’m not used to depending on anyone.’ She turned to face him, her gaze as clear as a full moon. ‘I’m afraid of depending on you, Alekos, of Niko depending on you.’
Alekos tried to keep the affront from his voice. ‘I won’t let you down.’
‘That requires a certain level of trust,’ Iolanthe answered as her gaze flitted away from his. ‘And trust has to be earned...for both of us.’
He hated the thought that she feared he’d fail her. Again. ‘Which is why we’re here. To get to know one another. To learn to trust one another.’
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