Single Mama Drama

“Whatever you want,” Trisha said. “My treat.”

“I’m not hungry,” I told her.

She stepped fully into my office and closed the door behind her. “I know what you’re going through. You remember my father died a couple months ago. You need to keep your strength up.”

“I’m really not hungry,” I reiterated, now getting to my feet. I wasn’t in the mood to hear that I’d have to keep my strength up, that I was about to deal with the hardest thing in my life. I already knew that. “I appreciate your concern, Trisha, but I’ll get myself something to eat when I’m ready.”

She nodded, then silently left the room.

I was still standing before my window, staring outside but seeing only a blur, when I heard the door open again. I didn’t know if Trisha said a word to anyone, or if they simply saw her coming from my office and decided that was their cue to enter. But person after person came in to check on me after that, in a steady stream, offering to get me food or whatever I needed, offering to lend me their shoulder to cry on, sharing stories of how they’d learned their lovers had cheated on them, but how they’d gotten over the heartache.

I swear, they drove me nuts with all their sympathy, to the point where I finally left the office to get food, just so I’d have some peace.

I made the short walk from my office to Bayside, where I wandered back and forth along the scenic walkways and perused the two levels of fashionable shops. I was trying to pretend I was a normal woman out for a normal, carefree stroll. When I passed the Hard Rock Café for the seventh time, I realized I couldn’t go on like this forever. I couldn’t wander around aimlessly like a tourist, pretending everything was right in my world.

Sooner or later, I had to face reality.

Eli was dead.

It suddenly dawned on me that I hadn’t called Carla back after I’d watched CNN. Now, I wanted to assure her that grief hadn’t caused me to jump out of my office window.

I dug my cell phone out of my purse, turned it on and punched in Carla’s home number. She answered on the first ring, exclaiming, “Vanessa!”

“Hey,” I said.

“Where are you? Every time I call your office, the phone goes straight to voice mail! I have been totally worried!”

I didn’t even remember setting that up, though I must have. Just as I’d obviously turned off my cell phone. “Sorry I didn’t get back to you. I just wanted some time.”

A moment passed, then Carla said, “When I saw the news, my heart just froze. You had no clue?”

“That Eli would get himself killed one day because he was having an affair with a married woman? No, I had no clue.”

Carla tsked. “Sometimes life seriously sucks. I know how much you loved Eli.”

“How’s Rayna?” I asked, changing the subject. I didn’t want to think about what I’d felt for Eli, because I would likely fall apart, right here in front of countless strangers.

“Great. She’s having a blast here.”

“Good, that’s good.” A heavy sigh oozed out of my body. At least that was positive news.

“When are you going to be home?” Carla asked.

“Between five-thirty and six, same as usual,” I answered.

“What? Tell me your boss isn’t that much of a bitch that she’s making you stay.”

“No, of course not. I chose to stay.”

“Why?”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to head home—I’m definitely no use at the office today—but…I just couldn’t. I guess I needed some time to pull myself together. To deal with the shock of all that’s happened. And, my God, Carla, I’m afraid I’m going to break down the moment I see Rayna. She’s going to ask where Eli is, and how do I tell her…” My voice cracked.

“Oh, sweetie. I’m really sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

A weird feeling suddenly passed over me, the kind you get when you sense you’re being watched.

It stopped my tears in my eye ducts, because up until that moment, I was certain I’d been about to start crying.

Spinning around, I surveyed the crowd. I saw happy lovers strolling hand in hand, girlfriends carrying multiple shopping bags, people standing near the railing at the edge of the water.

In other words, I saw nothing out of place.

But still, that odd feeling didn’t leave me.

“Carla, I’ll see you later,” I said hastily, then closed the phone.

One more quick glance around and I assured myself I was being paranoid. Who would be following me in this very public place?

I stuffed my cell phone back in my purse and headed for the street. Once again, it hit me that I wasn’t in the middle of a nightmare.

Actually, I was—only this nightmare was real.

I pushed that thought aside and forced myself to think about Rayna, how I had to be strong for her.

She was going to need me, and I wouldn’t let her down.

chapter three

Needless to say, I didn’t get any work done when I went back to my office, but I stayed there the full day nonetheless. I even lingered several minutes after five, giving most of our office staff a chance to leave so I wouldn’t have to face them.

I did peek my head into Debbie’s office to tell her goodbye, and she told me to make sure I stayed home the next day. There was no mention of Jason, but the fact that she was applying a fresh coat of lipstick told me he would soon be on his way up.

Shortly before five-thirty, I was heading to the lot where I’d parked my car, when I heard my name.

I turned. Kim, a heavyset, dark-skinned woman from the agency, was rushing toward me.

“Vanessa,” she said as she reached my side. Sadness creased her forehead. “I didn’t get a chance to talk to you earlier because I was out with a client. I’m so sorry about your ex.”

“My fiancé,” I clarified.

“Fiancé, right. I read the story on the Internet. Holy shit, it was gruesome. Killed with a bow and arrow! In bed with another woman! I can’t imagine what you’re going through. And when the news hits the papers tomorrow—”

“Thanks for your concern,” I said, cutting her off. But I wanted to say, “Do you think that repeating the dirty details is making me feel any better?”

I cut her some slack, because none of what had happened was her fault. I started walking again, picking up my pace a little.

She clearly didn’t get my not-so-subtle hints that I wanted her to drop the subject, because she fell into step beside me and continued talking. “I was dating this guy once. Big shot in some finance company. He took me out for all these fancy dinners, wooed me on his yacht. I wish someone had shot that asshole with a bow and arrow, because when I found out he was married—”