Marriage To A Stranger

Lara moaned out loud. How could she have forgotten? She and Sandy had made a date last week to have breakfast this morning. She’d promised to pick Sandy up more than an hour ago! She hurried to the front door and threw it open, apologizing before Sandy could even get inside and shake off the snow.

“God, Sandy! I’m sorry! I completely forgot about our breakfast—”

“No problem, it’s okay. Really. My car’s in the shop again so I just trudged up the sidewalk in a snowstorm, that’s all. I’m up to it.”

She waved toward the street, and Lara followed her movement. Footsteps proved Sandy’s point. She looked back at her friend. “Why did you walk, for heaven’s sake? Couldn’t Matthew have given you a ride?”

Sandy’s husband, Matthew Oakley, was Conley’s right-hand man and former college roommate. Conley depended a lot on the brilliant hardware designer.

“He had to go in early. Something about some chip or something…” Sandy patted her bulging stomach. “The baby didn’t mind. He likes cold weather. Really…”

Lara rolled her eyes at Sandy’s elaborate exaggeration. Friendly and outgoing, Sandy was the exact opposite of her quiet and intense husband, although just as smart. She and Lara had developed a close friendship over the years, mainly because Sandy was one of those people who never missed an opportunity to announce how she felt about anything. She kept Lara honest.

Shaking out of her coat, Sandy turned around to add to her litany of woes, then she saw Lara’s face. “Oh, my God. You told him, didn’t you?”

Lara nodded, her eyes filling. Sandy enveloped her in a hug; then, with her arm around Lara’s shoulder, she guided them both back to Lara’s kitchen. “Sit down,” she said. “I’ll fix us some tea.” Sandy got out the mugs and tea bags, and within seconds, the smell of lemon and honey filled the kitchen.

“Tell me.” She placed the steaming cups on the kitchen table and sat down in the chair Conley had vacated a scarce half hour before. “What’d he say?”

Lara shook her head. “It didn’t go well. He…he wasn’t thrilled.”

“Did you expect him to be?”

“I thought he was ready.”

“But he’s not.”

Lara sipped her tea and grimaced. Sandy always made it too sweet. “He threw a mug into the sink, then stormed out. It wasn’t like him at all.” She looked up. “You know how he is. Mr. Strong and Silent.”

Sandy waited a heartbeat, then she said just what Lara expected, her reaction sharp and to the point. “You’re an idiot, Lara. A total, complete idiot.”

Outside the back door, the wind suddenly picked up. Snow swirled and the fir tree beside the window tapped a staccato beat against the glass as if it agreed with Sandy’s pronouncement.

“I had to do it,” Lara said stubbornly, not meeting her friend’s eyes. “And you know why.”

“I know why you think you had to do it, but I refuse to believe your suspicions. Conley isn’t that kind of man. You don’t really think that anyway. It’s an excuse, that’s all.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Lara spoke quietly, sadness coloring her words. “There’s an emptiness between us that I can’t fill by myself. We aren’t the couple we used to be. We aren’t close. We aren’t a family. We don’t even seem to care. And it hurts too much to keep trying.” Her eyes went to her friend’s swelling stomach. “Maybe if we’d had children…”

“Having a baby doesn’t make you a family. Love makes you a family. You could get it back if you tried.”

“I did try, Sandy. But it takes two.”

“You and Conley just got on the wrong track, that’s all. If you’d both—”

“There’s nothing either of us can do now.” Lara interrupted her friend. “It’s over. Believe me, it’s over.”

The wind continued to howl, the gusts growing stronger. Sandy waited a beat. “I’m well aware that’s what you think. But what if it isn’t what Conley believes?”

Looking up at her friend, Lara gripped her tea mug a little too tightly. “I don’t see—”

“Throwing dishes isn’t a typical sign of consensus, is it? Did he say straight out that he’d agree to a divorce?”

“He stormed out the door, Sandy. It was obvious—”

Sandy cocked her head to one side and raised her right eyebrow. It was a familiar move; Lara had seen her do it a thousand times…usually right before she made some horrendous point Lara hadn’t considered. “Did he or did he not actually say to you that he would give you a divorce?”

Lara felt her heart thump. “He—he didn’t actually say the words but…”

“Lara, Lara, Lara…” Sandy shook her head slowly. “Colorado’s a no-fault state and Conley’s got plenty of money. You and I both know money makes the impossible…possible. And vice versa. If he doesn’t want a divorce, it could get nasty.” She put her teacup down carefully. The deliberate movement reminded Lara of Conley. Instead of mere hours, she felt as if a lifetime had passed since they’d talked.

“If he wants to fight you, he can.” Sandy raised both eyebrows this time. “If I were you, I’d be worried about that possibility.”

SANDY STAYED a little while longer, then Lara took her home. The streets were completely empty, the snow coming down in sheets of solid white. When they pulled into Sandy’s driveway, she turned to Lara and paused, her fingers on the door handle.

One last question, Lara thought with dread. God, hadn’t she said enough already?

“Have you told Ed?”

Lara grimaced. Her father would go ballistic when he heard her news, and then there’d be hell to pay. When Ed was unhappy, everyone was unhappy. He made sure of it.

“Not yet. I’m dreading it, though.”

Sandy’s expression turned sympathetic. “He’s not an easy man to break bad news to, that’s for certain.”

Lara tucked her hair behind one ear and smiled grimly. “He’s not an easy man, period.” For just a second she was six years old again and in the first grade. That’s when she’d learned other kids called their fathers “Dad” or “Pop” or even “Father.” Anything but their first name. The argument had been short, and Lara had learned quickly how much her opinion—or anyone else’s for that matter—meant to Ed.

“He won’t like it,” Sandy said.

“Yep. He told me when I got married to make it last. I guess I haven’t followed his advice.”

Sandy snorted. “He’s a big one to be giving advice about marriage.”

Ed had been to the altar four times. Lara’s mother, his first wife, had deserted him when Lara was five. Unable to stand his overbearing ways and need to control, Alicia Bentley had fled, leaving her baby daughter behind. She’d died shortly after that in a skiing accident. And Ed had been with a number of women since.

“You’re right,” Lara conceded. “But I’m sure Ed would tell you he loved every one of them.”

“Well, he can be charming.” Sandy grinned. “But there’s that other side of him…”

“You mean the side I’ll see when I tell him about the divorce?” Lara gripped the steering wheel. “He likes Conley. He’ll believe this is all my fault.”

The silence stretched out, then Sandy reached across the seat and put her hand on Lara’s right arm. Her expression held a wistful note. Married longer than Lara and Conley, Sandy and Matthew had never had a perfect relationship but since the pregnancy, things had gotten more tense. Sandy had always idealized Lara’s marriage, mainly because she idealized Conley.

“Are you sure about this, Lara? I mean, really, really sure? Conley’s the kind of man every woman dreams about….”

Lara stared through the windshield. She’d asked herself that very same question a thousand times the past few weeks, and each time, her answer had been the same. Yes. Absolutely. Positively. Without a doubt. She wanted a divorce.

She wanted it because things weren’t working out, but for other reasons as well. Lara had vowed a long time ago that she would never be like the women her father had always married. Except for one—Bess MacDougal—they had been helpless and insecure, women who didn’t know who they were without a man. When Ed’s interest flagged, Lara had read the desperation in their eyes; she’d be damned before she’d see it in hers.