She escaped her chair and threw herself into his arms. At the first touch of her soft form colliding against his hard angles, he discovered he’d made a serious miscalculation. Whatever they’d experienced all those months ago hadn’t dissipated over time as he’d anticipated. If anything, the craving had grown progressively worse. It might not be logical, but it was unquestionably true. He took the only action he deemed reasonable.
He kissed her.
Alice down the rabbit hole.
Only in this case Daisy tumbled head over heels down the hole and landed in a crazy, new world. Or maybe it wasn’t all that new. She’d worked so hard to forget what it had been like to lose herself in his arms. To know his kiss and have it sweep her away. To reach for something she thought long lost to her. He took his time reminding her of every moment of those lost memories.
Pleasure erupted, a tidal wave of sparkling joy, rushing through her without rhyme or reason. Not that it was love. She couldn’t love him. Refused to allow it. Passion. Lust. Sexual attraction. All those things she could accept, but not love. And she’d do everything within her power to avoid feeling an emotional attachment to a man who spent a lifetime suppressing them. She couldn’t deal with the despair and disillusionment again. It was too painful.
His mouth shifted across hers, deepening the kiss—a kiss that shouldn’t have improved since the last time they were together, but somehow had. She didn’t know whether it came from a growing familiarity or nearly two months of longing. She could only acknowledge the truth of it before going under, drowning beneath the cascade of sensations swamping her.
How did he do it? How did he stir such a helpless reaction? Her lips parted beneath his delicious invasion, opening to the heat. He was a man of logic and control, and yet she felt the instant that control slipped and shattered. He demanded, then tempted. Teased, then seduced. He touched her, kissed her, shifted his body against hers in a rhythm they’d both perfected that long-ago night. And yet, it might have been yesterday, the movements as familiar to her as they were arousing, and she found herself surrendering to the raw power of that primal song that played whenever they came together.
His hands cupped her face, tilting her head so he could more fully explore her mouth. She lost herself in the kiss while the sweetest of memories slid over and through her. Memories of their last night together when he’d taken her countless times, the final one sweet and tender beyond bearing. She suspected it had been then that she’d conceived Noelle, then that passion had caused them to forget a bedside table drawer full of caution. Then that he’d forever branded himself on her, heart and body and soul.
No! Oh, no, no, no. How could she be so foolish?
Daisy ripped free of his embrace and put the width of the table between them. She’d come here, dead certain in her ability to hold Justice at arm’s length, and instead all he’d had to do was touch her and she tumbled into his arms and surrendered. Did she think that everything that had gone so dramatically wrong twenty endless months ago, a single kiss could set right?
Swearing silently, she snatched up her bottle of water and hastily unscrewed the lid and took a long swallow while she struggled to gather her thoughts. “When you said you wanted me and Noelle to move in and you’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen—”
“I have always found that positive reinforcement works best.”
“You’d bribe me to live with you, Justice?” She took her time recapping the bottle. “Or perhaps that kiss was part of your positive reinforcement.”
“Only if it worked. Otherwise, what can I offer that will convince you to do as I request?”
“Do you realize that you sound like a computer whenever you get tense?” Based on the blank look he gave her, he didn’t. “Bribery won’t work, Justice. Nor will kissing me.”
“What will?”
She stood and crossed the kitchen to the shuttered window. “Is there any way to open this?”
“Computer, open window at Kitchen, Station 1A.”
A soft hum sounded and the shutters parted. This side of the house faced a long, rolling valley that must be stunning in the spring. Right now, with winter on the verge of overtaking them, it offered a raw, unforgiving beauty. Without the green of spring to cloak it, or flowers to add bright color and texture, only the bare bones remained. Nature at its most stark, without the pretty artifice to soften the harsh truth.
And the harsh truth was that she hadn’t been completely honest with Justice about why she’d tracked him down. Their daughter, Noelle, had been a huge part of it—the main part. But there was another reason, one she kept from him, one she found difficult to admit, even to herself. Ever since their night together she’d been unable to paint. She’d attempted countless times, without success. But, whatever creative spark, whatever gift or talent she’d been given, had evaporated as though it never existed. It had driven her to extreme measures, to allowing Jett to use every means at her disposal to find Justice’s hideaway in the hope that she could set right something that had gone hideously wrong—both for Noelle’s sake, as well as her own.
He’d asked her to stay and she wanted to, wanted with all her heart to be with him and discover if they couldn’t recapture some part of what they’d shared once upon a time. Why was she hesitating, when he offered to give her just that?
Because he wasn’t offering her love.
Well, too bad. She could move in and take her chances, or she could share custody of Noelle. She released her breath in a sigh and turned to face him. “No bribery, Justice. And I can’t commit to staying with you permanently. But I am willing to come for a visit as your guest. We’ll try it out for a few months and see how it goes. Sort of like what you intended with your apprentice/wife program. Will that do?”
“For now.” His gaze strayed to the window. “I wouldn’t wait too long, though. Winter’s coming.”
“It shouldn’t take longer than a week to organize. Is there enough room for all of us?”
“This place has a dozen bedrooms. I’ll get them ready and you can pick whichever ones you want.”
“And Pretorius? How will he handle having visitors?”
Justice frowned. “He has his own section of the house. So long as you don’t intrude, he should be fine.”
Daisy nodded. “Then I’ll see you in a week.” She turned and started from the kitchen, pausing at the last minute. And that’s when she accepted the heartrending truth. “Our lives will never be the same again. Everything changed twenty months ago, and there’s no going back now, is there? Not for either of us.”
And without a backward look, she fled.
Justice stood unmoving while the house settled into silence, returning to its cold air of detachment. Always a house, never a home. Always cold, never filled with light and laughter and warmth.
“You’re right. There’s no going back,” he whispered. “But what you don’t realize is … I don’t want to go back. I can’t live like that anymore.”
Daisy gritted her teeth, zigging to avoid driving through yet another pothole, this one the size of a large crater. If she ended up staying with Justice for any length of time, she and Justice were going to have words about this road.
“Almost there.” Excitement ricocheted through Jett’s voice, making her sound far younger than sixteen. “Just another one-point-four miles and we should be able to see it.”
“See it?” Noelle parroted. Only it came out more like “feet?”
Dear heavens, if it wasn’t Dora the GPS keeping track of every inch of every mile, it was Jett. And Daisy was willing to bet her last tube of Old Holland Viridian Green oil paint that when Noelle was a few years older she’d be every bit as bad.
“We’re surrounded,” she muttered to Aggie, her housekeeper. “Better get used to it now. There’s worse and you’re about to meet him.”
“I can handle it,” came the calm, seasoned response.
Years ago Aggie had been an elementary school teacher. She’d taken early retirement in order to nurse her husband through a lengthy illness, only to discover their savings exhausted by the time he died. The realization that she had no choice but to return to work coincided with Noelle’s birth and Daisy’s decision that she needed help with cooking and general housekeeping chores, especially after she’d assumed guardianship of Jett. She’d hired Aggie on the spot. To their mutual delight, the four of them had cemented into a cozy little family, one Justice would have to accept—if he wanted them to remain in Colorado.
“Are you sure Mr. St. John won’t mind that you brought all of us along?” Aggie asked with a hint of nervousness.
Daisy started to say she didn’t give a hot damn whether Mr. St. John minded, but aware of a backseat full of big ears, she modified her reply. “The four of us are a family. That means we’re a package deal. Don’t worry. Justice will be cool with it.”
A tiny sigh of relief issued from behind her, making Daisy aware that Jett was also feeling apprehensive. She always appeared so self-assured, it came as a bit of a shock the few times she reverted to the nervous, suspicious girl she’d been when Daisy’s parents had first taken her in as a foster child.
“I can’t believe I’m about to meet the man behind Sinjin,” Jett said.
“Finfin?”
“That’s your daddy, Red.”
“Daddy.”
That word came out clear as a bell. For some reason it caused Daisy to flinch and Aggie shot her a sympathetic look. “I’m sure he’ll make a wonderful father.”
“There’s no question Noelle needs him.” Her own inadequacies threatened to overwhelm her. “Lord knows, I can’t meet all of her needs.”
“No parent can give their child everything they require. It’s not possible,” Aggie was quick to reassure. “If you’re very lucky, you can cover most of it between the two of you and hope that friends and family and teachers cover the rest. Just loving them goes a long way.”
But was Justice capable of love? Was it programmed into his software or had that particular upgrade been wiped from his hard drive? Only time would tell. At long last the car crested the final hill and they coasted down to the sprawling homestead. She parked near the steps leading to the main house and cut the engine.