She pushed to her feet, dropping the napkin on the table. “I need to get to work, too. Thanks for inviting me up for breakfast.”
He captured her wrist in his hand, holding her by his side. Her bones felt delicate under his big hand, but he knew that she held all the power. He wanted her. And he’d do whatever he had to do to have her. “I invited you to move in with me.”
“I know, but if I do that we’ll be in bed together and…I’m not ready yet. I don’t want to make the same mistakes we did last time.”
“What mistakes are those?” he asked. He’d always figured last time his only mistake was not showering her with presents. But he knew now he’d done other things wrong, too. Frankly, he wasn’t sure he’d do them right this time. He wanted Shelby—she was the only woman he’d never forgotten—but he wasn’t sure he had forever left in him. His world changed with the roll of the dice or the flip of a card.
“The mistake,” Shelby said, “was and would be letting great sex cloud the fact that we don’t know each other.”
Back then, they’d spent most of their time together naked. He knew he’d been Shelby’s first lover and to be honest it had seemed as if they’d been made for each other. He still got hard thinking of the chemistry between them in those days.
“Great sex?” he asked. Maybe he wouldn’t have to work so hard to convince her to move in with him after all.
She pulled away from him and wrapped her arms around her waist. That was the second time he’d seen her do that. Why did she? “Trust you to fixate on that.”
“It was the only good thing you said.” And it was. The sex between them had been great. It had been easy to let sex and lust take the place of friendship and genuine affection. This time he knew she wanted more—but he wasn’t exactly sure he would allow it.
“Are you free later on?” he asked.
“For what?”
“A flight over the desert. I recall you liked flying at sunset.” She’d never been in a plane before he’d taken her up in his little Cessna. Hayden loved to fly. His plane collection was more extensive now.
She bit her lower lip. “You remember a lot about me.”
“Too much sometimes,” he said, more to himself.
“I’m embarrassed to say I don’t remember the details like you do.”
“Why embarrassed?” he asked.
“Because…I was so shallow back then. I was…”
“What?” he asked.
“Fixated on not becoming my mother.” She said it so quietly he knew that she didn’t want to admit it.
“Are you still?” he asked.
“I think the fear is so deeply embedded in me that I’ll never escape it.”
He’d never really asked about her family. He’d known that she hadn’t had a lot of money—that had been part of her initial attraction for his younger, rebellious self—and that her family wasn’t very close, but beyond that he knew nothing.
“What do you like?” she asked at last.
“Pleasing you,” he said smoothly. He hoped she didn’t realize he was using the same lines and practiced moves on her that he did with all the women he dated. But he knew no other way.
“I don’t think so. If we’re going to do this…if I’m ever going to move in here, Hayden, we have to have honesty between us.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. He was unable to believe she’d called him on his behavior, especially since she had at least as many secrets as he did. “That works both ways.”
She swallowed and her face lost color. “Okay, what do you want to know?”
“What did my dad say to make you leave?”
She shivered. He saw her and almost reached for her, but he knew that he used sex as a substitute for real emotions and forced himself to keep his hands by his sides.
“I…um…”
“Just say it. Nothing is that bad. Was it about your mom?”
“Yes. My mom is a stripper.”
“Okay. What else?”
“Nothing, just that I don’t know who my father is. Mom isn’t even sure.”
He reached for her then, pulled her into his arms and just held her. She felt small and fragile, and Hayden wanted to take this burden from her. But he knew his dad made a huge issue of ancestry. “I don’t care.”
She tipped her head back, glancing up at him with those wide eyes of hers. “I do.”
He rubbed his hands down her back, not sure what to say. After a few minutes she pulled back.
“Now, what do you really like to do? I want tonight to be to you what flying at sunset used to be to me.”
He let her change the subject, lighten the mood because he sensed she needed some distance. “Anything I can gamble on—poker, basketball, skydiving, a fast ride on a desert highway on the back of my Harley, hot sex.”
She tipped her head to the side, studying him again. “Wow, that’s some list. Let me see what I can come up with. I should be finished in my shop by eight.”
Hayden didn’t want to relinquish control of her. He knew it was because he’d been burned the one time he’d trusted her. He knew he should let the past go but he couldn’t.
She framed his face with her cold hands. Leaning up, she kissed him. There was a lot of emotion, past and present, in her kiss. Her mouth moved over his in a way that was more enthusiastic than practiced. He slipped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer to him.
She lifted her mouth from his and looked into his eyes for a long moment. What was she looking for in his eyes?
“Let me do this. I want to know the man you’ve become and show you the woman I am today.”
He dropped his arms and turned away, taking two deep breaths to try to get the scent of her out of his nose. But he couldn’t. He was inundated with Shelby. Her taste was on his tongue, the feel of her soft skin under his fingers….
His phone rang and he cursed, pulling it out. “I have to go.”
“I won’t keep you, but what about tonight?”
“I…”
“Hayden, I know that I lost your trust, but let me do this. It’s important to me.”
He stared at her. “Okay.”