Hidden Sin: When the past comes back to haunt you

‘Well, whatever,’ she said, feeling the nerves begin to kick in as the man turned and stuck a thumb up in their direction. He could surely tell they were discussing him. ‘You never know,’ she said brightly. ‘Tonight might just be that night. Come on, let’s get this soundcheck done. I still need to get changed yet.’

‘Never change, babe,’ Matt told her, grinning. ‘Stay as sweet as you are.’ And there was something about the way he said it that made her pause – was she imagining it? Made her think they weren’t perhaps on the same page any more.

The applause as they finished the first set was rapturous. Almost the whole pub had been dancing and singing along with them. It was, Paula thought, the very best feeling ever. She was buzzing as she grabbed Joey and tugged him through the crowd – many of whom were cheering and whooping and slapping them on the back, like they’d just got married or something. ‘Come on, Joey,’ she yelled as she dragged him through the reluctantly parting mass. ‘Let’s go chat up this mystery man of yours, shall we?’

The man’s expression when they reached him seemed to hint that he’d been expecting them to as well.

‘Joey,’ he said, moving along the bar to make room for them. He was standing apart from the group of men he’d been watching the set with. Paula noticed how, despite the rush of people anxious to get a drink in, no one seemed to dare invade his space.

Joey nodded. ‘Mo, isn’t it?’ He held a hand out. The big black man shook it. Joey then put his other hand on Paula’s back and edged her forwards. ‘Nice to see you again. And this is my girlfriend, Paula.’

Mo raised his eyebrows. ‘Girlfriend?’ he said. He trained his dark eyes on Paula. Assessing. ‘Well, it’s very nice to meet you, young lady.’

Paula felt irritated to realise she was blushing as she shook his hand. Even more so that she also had an almost overwhelming – and completely ridiculous – urge to curtsy. ‘Nice to meet you too,’ she said, squaring her shoulders instead. ‘You from round here?’

Mo smiled, flashing his perfect white teeth at her. ‘Oak Lane,’ he said smoothly. ‘Do you know it?’

Paula had to stop herself from gaping. That meant serious money. Oak Lane was very much where the ‘other half’ lived. Well, if it was true, which they didn’t know yet. Nor where his apparent wealth came from. She nodded, sensing he was challenging her. ‘Sort of,’ she said. ‘I once worked as a receptionist at an insurance company up there. Been pulled down now, though. It’s a mosque now, I think.’

The big man grinned. ‘Aren’t they all, love? Aren’t they all?’ he said. ‘More mosques in Bradford than greengrocers these days, eh? Anyway, I’m glad you’ve come over. I have something to ask you. More of a proposition, in fact.’ He glanced at Joey. ‘That’s if you’re both interested.’

Joey was grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat, Paula noticed. Perhaps he’d been right. And Matt wrong. Maybe this man was some sort of talent scout or something. Perhaps her natural suspicion of anyone with his sort of confidence said more about the Hudson genes in her than anything. Suspicion of anyone who wasn’t a Hudson was a Hudson family trait. Oak Lane. He was something big, at any rate.

‘Course we’re interested,’ Joey said. ‘Shall I get us all a drink?’

Mo politely declined. ‘But I’ll buy you both one if you’d like one.’

‘I’m cool,’ Paula said, conscious of her dad’s comment earlier. She never liked to drink when she was performing anyway. ‘But if you’d like –’ she turned to Joey, whose face was sheeny with perspiration.

‘I’m cool too,’ he said. ‘I’ll just grab a water.’

The man raised a hand, mouthed the word, and a glass of water appeared in an instant. Another reason to believe that he was someone with influence. The queue for drinks now was five deep and the barmaids were struggling to cope. But clearly what this man asked for he got. Right away. ‘I’ve just bought a nightclub in town,’ he explained, as he pushed the brimming pint glass in Joey’s direction. ‘Silks. You probably know it? Or of it, anyway. And my business partner Nico and I’ – he nodded towards the swarthy Greek man standing a few feet away, who had his back to them currently – ‘well, we’re on the hunt for talent. A decent house band.’ He paused. Paula saw Joey’s eyes widen. ‘So we were thinking that we’d like to offer you a provisional residency there, if you’re interested. One night a week to start with. See how it goes before making it permanent, obviously. Do you think you might be interested? The pay’s good, of course. It’ll be more than you get here. And we would need you to finish here because it’ll be Saturday nights we’d want you. Now,’ he said, looking at Paula. ‘Do you need time to think about it? Discuss it with your bandmates?’

Paula wavered. Taking in that he wasn’t a record company scout was a bit disappointing, and now her reticence took precedence again. Yes, it sounded good, but the strings attached – dropping The Sun gig – needed thinking about. It seemed a bit unfair to drop The Sun, especially after they’d been so good to them. It had been The Sun, after all, that had given them their first real start. Regular work too. Which wasn’t something you turned your back on lightly.

And what did they really know about these characters? Only what this Mo guy had told them. And wasn’t it true that nightclubs opened up and closed down again all the time? Silks hadn’t always been Silks. It had been lots of things before that. Like many a nightclub, its history was littered with the corpses of many an ambitious businessman’s shattered dreams. Money pits – wasn’t that what her dad had once told her? And she’d no business agreeing to anything without consulting Matt, not to mention Dan first. It was Matt who’d given her a start, after all.

‘Can we get back to you?’ she said, causing Joey to look at her like she was mad. ‘Only we do need to speak with the rest of the band before making a decision like that. How about you give us your number and we ring you after the weekend?’

Mo nodded, his expression cool. Then pulled out a business card from his wallet. She slid a thumb over its surface as she took it. Embossed. Expensive-looking. ‘Suit yourself,’ he said. ‘But I’m willing to pay well, as I say. Say, £225 per gig? So don’t leave it too long making your minds up, will you?’

Paula tried not to gape. That was more than double they were currently getting paid by The Sun. She tried not to let her surprise show on her face.

‘Sure,’ she said. ‘We’ll be rehearsing tomorrow anyway. Will Monday morning be okay?’

‘I don’t do mornings, sweetheart,’ the man said. ‘Bit of a creature of the night, me. Monday afternoon would be better.’ He nodded towards the stage, where Matt and Dan, presumably returned from sharing a joint out the back, were getting ready for the second set. ‘Anyway, looks like you’re on again.’ He winked at her. ‘And we’ll be here watching.’

And there was something about the way he said it – something she couldn’t put her finger on – that made a flicker of uneasiness edge into her brain. She pushed it aside. Just force of habit, she told herself. Bound to be hard to break.

Their second set, if anything, was even wilder than the first. They even got thunderous applause when they performed a couple of their own numbers, which she knew would make Matt, who’d composed them, ecstatic. Perhaps the chance to play in a nightclub really could launch them to another level. But Matt was so naturally cautious – it was in his nature – and she wasn’t sure how he’d react to the idea of dumping The Sun, who could get another band in just like that, on the strength of an offer from a complete stranger, to play in a shut-down nightclub that hadn’t actually re-opened yet. Not least because she knew Matt really didn’t share her ambitions. He’d been gigging a few years now and though he loved writing music, she suspected he liked his life just as it was. Couple of gigs a week, plenty of downtime and a healthy weed habit. For which he had more than enough in his pockets, because he also played with a showband, doing weddings and birthdays, where he banged out the usual staples for a decent wodge of cash. He was a pragmatist. There were definitely no stars in his eyes.

And as it turned out, there was little opportunity to sit down and discuss things anyway, by the time they’d finished. The mysterious Mo and his cronies had slipped away before they’d done, and Matt was anxious to pack up and get his gear home as he and Dan were off to a party. Perhaps, on balance, they should wait till rehearsal tomorrow anyway. Discuss it properly then.

‘Not that I’m sure what there is to discuss,’ Joey observed, once he’d loaded his kit onto Matt’s van – he was taking it back to his place ready to take to the rehearsal – and he and Paula were in the mini and about to head off to his. ‘I mean, it’s miles more money, a bigger venue, and a chance to be heard by thousands. What’s the problem?’

To be fair, Paula thought, Joey didn’t know Matt and Dan like she did. Didn’t really know them at all yet. And he had that irrepressible way about him – that eagerness, that puppyish enthusiasm that so appealed to her. Was that why she liked him so much? Because he reminded her so much of her father? Though wrapped up in a package that was a million miles from her father. Tall, dark and … well, it was a heady combination.

‘It’s not a problem, exactly,’ she told him now, as she fiddled about looking for the headlamp switch. Joey leaned across her and turned it. He smelled appealingly of fresh sweat and some kind of woody aftershave. ‘It’s just that I think we should maybe proceed with caution – as my old driving instructor used to say. Just that we should make sure it’s the right thing for all of us before committing. I mean, what if this Mo is a fly-by-night? He might be talking bollocks about owning Silks, mightn’t he? I mean, you’ve seen the size of that place. Well, I suppose you might not have,’ she corrected herself, remembering his age. ‘But it’s huge. Only someone seriously rich – or seriously stupid – could afford to take on a place like that. I mean, the rent on it must be massive.’

‘But to what end? I mean, why would he do that? Why would he say he was looking for a band if he wasn’t?’

‘I know, but if we pull out of The Sun we might lose it permanently, mightn’t we? In fact, I’d say that was probably a cert. And, don’t forget, it’s the only regular slot we have.’

‘Well, it’s not for me to say anyway,’ Joey said. ‘I’ve only been in the band five bloody minutes. So whatever you reckon, I’m cool with that. It’s your call, completely, Paula. I’m just so bloody happy to be part of it – be it in The Sun or anywhere else. Anyway, we don’t have to say now, do we? Whatever this Mo says. In fact, why don’t we tell the lads that we’re going to check the place out for ourselves first? And if it all seems genuine – and everyone’s happy – we give it a go. Proceed with caution, like you said.’

Paula reached to switch on the engine. ‘I reckon that’s best,’ she said. Though despite her concerns, her automatic need to analyse, she was still buzzing from the response to their final set, the adrenaline still pumping. Whatever else was true, the world suddenly felt full of possibilities. New car, new recognition for the band, new boyfriend … She smiled at him coyly. ‘Still, however it pans out, exciting times, or what?’

She then blinked as two passing cars flashed their lights at them, one after another. ‘Whoah! Am I on full beam or something?’ she said, rootling around again in the darkness to try and find how to dip the lights. ‘I really need to sit down properly with the manual for this, don’t I? Anyway, how come you know where everything is anyway?’

Joey tapped his nose. ‘Comprehensive education, me.’ He didn’t elaborate. Instead he leaned across her and this time he doused the lights completely.

‘What you doing?’ she asked.

He grinned and snaked his other arm around her, twisting round, pulling her against him. She could feel the hardness of his bicep against her shoulder. His hair tickling her cheek. ‘Just proceeding with caution,’ he said.

Chapter 6 (#ulink_234d5871-f892-57ea-addc-13e09c0be742)

Paula woke up and couldn’t work out where she was. She looked around her; lemon walls, a pile of boxes and bin bags full of clothing, a small window, where a net hung, flowers dancing along its border and the scent of a lavender air freshener strong in her nose.

The Parkers’ box room. It filtered through then. And in the smallest of single beds. If she stretched out – she did now, her bent legs protesting – she could touch the far wall with her toes. No wonder Joey’s uncle preferred to kip on the sofa downstairs.

It was cosy, though, and she lay still with her eyes closed for a minute, realising it must still be quite early. She wondered if Joey was up yet, or still stretched out, lean and sleepy, on the other side of the wall. She felt good in a way that she hadn’t in a long time. Though she’d resisted the urge to take things where she might have last night – admittedly with some difficulty – the feelings he’d stirred in her were unfamiliar and rather thrilling. Was this how falling in love felt? She was hesitant to even think it. They’d only been together five bloody minutes. And she was as far from a swooning heroine as it was possible to be, after all. But if the cap fitted … and it wasn’t as if they were complete strangers, was it? They shared a common past, wanted a common future. Christ, Paula, listen to yourself, she thought. She let her mind drift then, where it fancied, and dozed a little more.

She was woken again, both by her bladder, which was by now protesting, and by the unmistakable rumble of voices from below. Not raised voices, quite, but with a definite edge. Was that Joey’s she could make out? She thought so.

Further evidence presented itself as she padded out onto the little landing, clutching her handbag (containing spare undies – a moment of sensible foresight) and her bundle of clothes – just her stage dress and a cardi. Feeling like a fallen woman, even if she wasn’t, in one of Joey’s T-shirts, she hoped she wouldn’t bump into any of the family till she was dressed.

Unlike Paula’s own home – full of messy teenagers – the house was small and uncluttered, and she could see Joey’s empty bed through his open bedroom door. The bathroom was just opposite, so she dived into it gratefully, and it was only once in there that the voices properly revealed themselves, coming up directly from the kitchen below. And then she heard her name spoken, by Joey’s mam, and, her interest piqued now, she strained to listen. And moving closer to the propped-open bathroom quarter light – the back door was clearly open – she found she could hear pretty clearly.

‘I’m not saying that,’ Joey’s mam was now saying. What? What was ‘that’? ‘I’m just telling you to be sensible. That’s all. It’s all very well you being pie-eyed over her, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t be. It’s just that she’s –’

‘For fuck’s sake, Mam!’ Joey’s voice. ‘Will you just shut up going on like that? I’m not a kid, for God’s sake!’

‘No, you’re not.’ His mam’s voice again. ‘But you don’t know what you’re getting into with this group of hers. And you know nothing about this … this man. About any of them, come to that. And when your head’s turned by –’

‘My head’s not fucking turned. Just how stupid d’you think I am, Mam?’

Then a deep shushing noise. Soothing. Maybe Joey’s dad was there too?’