Personal Sketches of His Own Times, Vol. 1 (of 3)
42
Leaping out of a window voluntarily was formerly by no means uncommon in the country parts of Ireland: – some did it for fun– others for love: but it was generally for a wager. Very few serious accidents occurred in consequence of these exploits, there being generally a dunghill, or some other soft material, under the windows of country gentlemen’s lodges – the tumble was, in truth, more dirty than dangerous; dislocation being the utmost injury I was accustomed to see resulting therefrom.
43
At the breaking out of the American war Colonel Brown, in derision of the colonists, declared, that he would march through all America with St. Andrew’s watchmen! – This declaration being made in the House of Commons, was thought to be in earnest by several members of the Dublin corporation. It was therefore suggested by one of the body to address his Majesty with a tender of the watchmen of St. Andrew’s, St. Ann’s, and St. Peter’s parishes, for American service. This serious offer drew down on the poor colonel such a volley of ridicule, that he never after mentioned America in Parliament. But such was the general contempt of the Americans at the commencement of the contest.
Colonel Brown was brother to old Lord Altamont.
44
Franchises.
45
No man ever came to a violent death more unwarily! Colonel Walpole was a peculiarly handsome man, an aide-de-camp to Lord Camden. With somewhat of the air of a petit-maître, he fluttered much about the drawing-room of the Castle: – but, as he had not seen actual service, he felt a sort of military inferiority to veterans, who had spent the early part of their lives in blowing other people’s brains out; and he earnestly begged to be entrusted with some command that might give him an opportunity of fighting for a few weeks in the County Wexford, and of writing some elegant despatches to his excellency the lord lieutenant. The lord lieutenant most kindly indulged him with a body of troops, and sent him to fight in the County Wexford, as he requested: but on passing the town of Gorey, not being accustomed to advanced-guards or flankers, he overlooked such trifles altogether! and having got into a defile with some cannon and the Antrim regiment, – in a few minutes the colonel was shot through the head – the cannon changed masters – and most of the Antrim heroes had each a pike, ten or twelve feet long, sticking in his carcase: – “Sic transit gloria mundi!”
46
It has occurred to me, that the very great difference in the look of the heads might proceed from the following causes: – Messrs. Harvey and Colclough were hanged on the bridge, and their bodies suffered to lie some time before they were decapitated. The effect of strangulation made the faces black; and the blood cooling and stagnating, this black colour remained. Keogh had been decapitated as soon as cut down; – the warm blood was therefore totally discharged from the head, and the face became livid, no stagnate blood remaining to blacken it. If the thing had not been public, it might have been doubted. It is now thirty years past, and I can divine no other reason for so curious a circumstance; and army surgeons in Paris (I suppose the best in the world) tell me that my conjecture is perfectly well-founded.
47
This observation is fully verified. I anticipated the consequences of an imperium in imperio, which the Union inevitably produced; and which always evades the claims and advancement of bold, independent men, preferring those who have more pliability, discretion, and tact, for the management of second-hand rulers and authorities.
48
These gentry, not many years since, addressed the Duke of York as “the corporation of surgeons,” – i. e. barber-surgeons. The address was replied to without its being known that they were only shavers and wig-makers!
49
“My reason,” said Mr. Ponsonby, on the hustings, “for proposing Mr. Barrington for the representation of the city of Dublin is – that I have known him as my friend, and I have known him as my enemy; and, in either character, have found him ‘an honest man.’”
50
Mr. Grattan’s father had been recorder of Dublin and representative in parliament for that city.
51
A Mr. George Bathron, of Durrow, an apothecary, had, about 1783, been accused of a similar misdemeanour with the wife of a brother volunteer in the same town, but with more reason. He however got over it better: he denied the fact plump; and the ensuing Sunday, after having received the sacrament in church, swore that he never in his life had “behaved unlike a gentleman by Mrs. Delany.” This completely satisfied the husband; and the apothecary was considered a trustworthy person – of high honour, moral tendency, and shamefully calumniated.
52
Nobody has put this better than Pope, in the mouth of Eloisa —
“Not Cæsar’s empress would I deign to prove; —
No! make me mistress to the man I love:
And if there be another name more free,
More fond, than mistress, make me that to thee!”
I think what renders ladies quarrelsome after they are tied, who were so sweet and conciliatory before, is, the natural and inherent spirit of contradiction of which the fair sex are accused. This they are privileged to exercise to its full extent during courtship; and the abrupt transfer of it immediately after the honey-moon might ruffle the temper of an angel!
53
I think he was opposed by the present Mr. Saurin, and Mr. Tod Jones (who afterward sent a bullet through Sir Richard Musgrave’s abdomen).
54
See the history of Belfast, and the northern clubs and volunteer resolutions of that period – namely, 1779 or 1780. He and Mr. Joy, a printer, drew them up conjointly.
55
The following unpublished lines, by Miss M. Tylden, the most talented young lady I ever met, depict the frivolity and short-lived nature of human vanities more forcibly than a hundred sermons – if we calmly reflect what a contemptible animal is man! —
“The kingdoms of the world have pass’d away,
And its strong empires moulder’d into dust,
Swift as the changes of a poet’s dream;
And kings and heroes, and the mighty minds
Whose hopes circled eternity, and seized
The stars as their inheritance, and grew
Too big for mortal frames – until they sank
Into the narrow bounds of nature: —
These are the things which, even nameless now,
Are on the earth forgot – or, if retain’d,
Of power, of life, and motion all bereft!”
56
Lord Castlereagh’s letter to me put, in fact, a civil end to my dreams of promotion; and I was neither sinister nor cunning enough to regain any influence after the Union was effected.
57
If this cause involved no names but his lordship’s and my own, it should appear in these volumes; but it is a much more comprehensive subject, and I feel too delicate on the point at present to enlarge further upon it.
58
An Irish vulgar idiom for “nonsense.”
59
His lordship purchased from the legatee of the parliamentary trustee of my family estate, a small portion of it in the Queens’ county, for, I believe, 40,000l. I have taken steps to render all those sales subjects of equity inquiry – the trustee having bought it up himself, after some transfers – I unfortunately assented to the Act of Parliament which left 8000l. a year at the mercy of trustees —Dieu et mon droit!
60
I see in the “American Review” of the former edition of this work, a remark that I was mistaken in my picture of Colonel Burr. – They must know better than me; I only state what my impression was on superficial knowledge.
61
See my “Historic Memoirs of Ireland,” (vol. ii.) where this curious incident is fully detailed. The offer was unexampled; the refusal (in my opinion) injudicious.
62
I was myself once refused even admittance into Westminster Abbey, wherein his ashes rest! – the sexton affirming that the proper hour was past!
63
The former affair alluded to by Lord Clare was certainly of a most unpardonable description.
64
Curran died, I believe, at Brompton, and was buried in Paddington church-yard; but I am ignorant whether or not a stone marks the spot.
65
It is very singular that Mr. Duguery, one of the most accomplished men, the most eloquent barristers, and best lawyers I ever knew, (a cousin-german of Lord Donoughmore,) fell latterly, though at an early age, into a state of total imbecility – became utterly regardless of himself, of society, and of the world; – and lived long enough to render his death a mercy!
66
See the Mutiny Act.
67
His lordship’s only son (married to a daughter of the Earl of Warwick) is now a total absentee, and exhibits another lamentable proof, that the children even of men who rose to wealth and title by the favours of the Irish people feel disgusted, and renounce for ever that country to which they are indebted for their bread and their elevation!
68
An occurrence somewhat of the same nature took place at no very great distance of time, at Maryborough assizes, between Mr. Daley, a judge of the Irish Court of King’s Bench, and Mr. W. Johnson, now judge of the Common Pleas.
Mr. Daley spoke of committing Mr. Johnson for being rude to him; but, unfortunately, he committed himself! A meeting was called, at which I was requested to attend; but I declined, and was afterward informed that my refusal had (very unjustly) given offence to both parties. The fact is, that, entertaining no very high opinion of the placability of either, I did not choose to interfere, and so unluckily replied that “they might fight dog, fight bear, – I would give no opinion about the matter.”
One of the few things I ever forgot is, the way in which that affair terminated: – it made little impression on me at the time, and so my memory rejected it.
69
Lord Clonmel and Matthias Scott vied with each other which had the largest and most hanging pair of cheeks – vulgarly called jowls. His lordship’s chin was a treble one, whilst Matthias’s was but doubled; – but then it was broader and hung deeper than his brother’s.
70
Nothing can so completely stamp the character of the university of Dublin as their suppression of the only school of eloquence in Ireland – “The Historical Society;” – a school from which arose some of the most distinguished, able, and estimable characters that ever appeared in the forum, or in the parliament of Ireland: this step was what the blundering Irish would call – “advancing backwards.”
71
This is the Mr. James Fitzgerald who gave up the highest office of his profession rather than betray his country: – he opposed the Union zealously, and received and deserved the most flattering address from the Irish bar.
72
Voltaire in his “Age of Louis the XIV,” says, “James Saurin was born at Nismes, 1677: – he was the best preacher of the reformed church; but he dealt too much in what was called the refugee style. He was created minister to the noblesse at the Hague; was a learned man – but addicted to pleasures: he died 1730.”
73
I had an opportunity of knowing that Mr. Sheridan was offered 1000l. for that speech by a bookseller, the day after it was spoken, provided he would write it out correctly from the notes taken, before the interest had subsided; and yet, although he certainly had occasion for money at the time, and assented to the proposal, he did not take the trouble of writing a line of it! The publisher was of course displeased, and insisted on his performing his promise: upon which Sheridan laughingly replied in the vein of Falstaff: – “No, Hal! – were I at the strappado, I would do nothing by compulsion!” He did it at length – but too late! and, as I heard, was (reasonably enough!) not paid.
74
They called him the Venison Pasty: a coarse, black, hard crust, with excellent feeding inside of it.
75
The interest of money in England was only five per cent; in Ireland, six. Moneyed Englishmen, therefore, lent out large sums on Irish mortgages. Lord Mansfield had vested much money in this way; and as Irish mortgages, from the confused state of Irish entails at that time, were generally considered rather ticklish securities, the Irish judges were sent over from England to take care of that matter, and were removable at pleasure, for the same reason.
76
A judge who feels himself bound by old precedents in the teeth of his own convictions, is much to be pitied. If he decides according to the said precedents, he does wrong with his eyes open. If he decides against them, he will be considered as deciding against the settled law of the land, and the Courts of Error quickly set the ancient mistake on its legs again.
77
The Irish attorneys had, I believe, then pretty much the same reputation and popularity enjoyed by their tribe throughout the United Kingdom. They have now, in each country, wisely changed their designation into that of solicitors. I recollect one anecdote, which will, I think, apply pretty well to the major part of that celebrated profession. Some years ago, a suitor in the Court of Exchequer complained in person to the chief baron, that he was quite ruinated, and could go on no further! “Then,” said Lord Yelverton, “you had better leave the matter to be decided by reference.” – “To be sure I will, my lord,” said the plaintiff: “I’ve been now at law thirteen years, and can’t get on at all! I’m willing, please your lordship, to leave it all either to one honest man or two attorneys, whichever your lordship pleases.” – “You had better toss up, head or harp, for that,” said Lord Yelverton, laughing. Two attorneys were however appointed, and, in less than a year, reported that “they could not agree:” both parties then declared, they would leave the matter to a very honest farmer, a neighbour of theirs. They did so, and, in about a week, came hand-in-hand to the court, thanked his lordship, and told him their neighbour had settled the whole affair square and straight to their entire satisfaction! Lord Yelverton used to tell the anecdote with great glee.
78
On the argument of that case in the Exchequer the judgment of Baron Smith was delivered with an ability scarcely ever rivalled. Its impression may be best imagined from the fact of the whole bar rising immediately on its conclusion by a sort of sympathetic impulse, and bowing to him profoundly.
