Lone Star Christmas

* * *

He watched as she gently helped the boys put the puppies back with the litter. Caring for the boys, and giving them what they needed, seemed to come naturally for her.

Why is it so hard for me? It would be easier to face down an angry bull than tell these boys no.

A few more tears and they said their goodbyes. Going back through the convenience store to the café, they gathered their food and got everyone buckled in to her car.

Not a word was spoken as they drove down Main Street. Early signs of Christmas had already appeared in some of the shop windows. The holidays were just around the corner. It had pretty much been just another day in his life.

Isaac slurped his drink. “When can we visit the puppies again?”

Jackie made eye contact through the rearview mirror, then glanced at Max.

Ethan shook his head. “Are we going to talk about what they did?” He leaned forward and glared at the boys. “You took off without telling me where you were going. You caused a lot of trouble.”

Jackie stopped at the only light in town. She looked at Max as if she expected him to do something. He was tired, and he didn’t know how to fix any of this.

“Ethan, when I sent you with the boys, I expected you to watch them. They’re only five and six and in a strange place. Maybe I need to take your phone, so you’ll remember your responsibilities.”

Horror etched itself on the teen’s face. “You can’t do that! You don’t pay the bill. My mom does.”

“If you want to return to your mom, that wouldn’t be a problem. I can hire a driver to take you to the airport, and you can go back to Chicago.”

Crossing his arms, Ethan stared out the window. “So, I lose my phone because they ran off. They don’t even have phones, so what’s going to happen to them? I told them to come right back, and they didn’t listen to me.”

Isaac twisted around. “No, you didn’t say anything. You were playing a game.”

“You didn’t check on them. That was your job.” He looked at the tiny versions of himself. “Guys, you can’t ever disappear like that again. If you had gotten hurt or lost, we wouldn’t have known where to find you.”

“Like Momma and Daddy on the boat? They didn’t tell anyone, and no one knew they were lost. Could we have died like them?”

Ethan leaned over his seat from the back. “Yes! That’s why you can’t go off by yourselves.”

Tomas looked like he was about to start crying again.

“Ethan!” Saying this sharper and angrier than he had meant, Max closed his eyes for a minute and counted before addressing the teen again. “Scaring them is not the way to go.”

“Well, they scared me! And now you want to take away my phone.” He threw himself back. “This isn’t fair. I don’t want to go back to Chicago.” He twisted his mouth and glared out the window.

Oh, man, it looks like he is about to cry. “You don’t want to go home with your mother?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No. But it’s going to be Thanksgiving. I thought you might want to be with your family. Don’t you have stepbrothers?” He still wasn’t too sure why Ethan had asked to come with them.

“Yes. I’d rather be here without my phone than being forced to hang out with them. I’d sleep in the barn if I have to. They’re not nice, and my stepfather thinks...everything they do is funny.”

Jackie looked up. “What about your mother?”

He shrugged and looked out the window. “She’s busy.”

Max closed his eyes. And scrambled some ideas around in his brain. He could figure this out. The reason he had taken the boys and why he’d let Ethan join them was that he remembered the loneliness after his mother’s death. Like the world had gone on and forgotten her and him.

With her gone, he didn’t exist anymore. Then he forgot her. He didn’t want that for his brothers.

It sounded as if Ethan’s mother wasn’t any better than their father. He didn’t have any warm memories of her; it didn’t sound like she was any better with her own son. “Okay, here’s the deal. Extra chores for everyone, and Ethan’s in charge. I’ll make up a list, and each day for the next week you’ll make sure everything gets done before bedtime. Got it?”

Ethan looked at him. “I get to stay and keep my phone?”

“Yes, but you’re going to have limited use of the phone. It’s going to be hard work.”

“That’s okay. It’s not like I have anything else to do.”

He wanted to give them more than chores and work. “I also need each of you to make a list of your favorite things to do that don’t include electronics.”

The younger brothers started talking over each other about swimming, food fights and playing fetch. Which they pointed out would require a dog.

Jackie pulled up to the elaborate iron gate that marked the entrance to the Delgado Ranch. When Max had first arrived with the boys, he’d found the electric rollers jammed. It had taken all four of them to push both sides back. Now the rusted curves and cattle cutouts sat lopsided in the tall weeds. He should have turned back then and there.

He needed to call Vanessa about the dogs. In the meantime, he was going to find ways for them to have fun. Glancing at the woman driving, he thought back to that summer so long ago. He wanted to see that smile again. When had she become so severe?

Behind him, Isaac and Tomas had fallen asleep. Something else he needed to do. Make sleeping arrangements. They couldn’t stay in the house tonight. If it were just him, he’d sleep in his truck. He’d done it several times. He glanced behind him at his three brothers. But for now, it wasn’t just him.

How had this become his life? He leaned his head back and shut his eyes. He could do this. It was temporary.

Jackie pulled up behind Sammi’s truck at the Delgado ranch house. “The boys fell asleep. I have a few blankets in the back of the car. If you want to get Tomas, I’ll grab Isaac.”

Max nodded before he got out of the SUV. “I think it’s gotten colder.” They leaned in at the same time and unbuckled the boys. She avoided looking at Max. They were too close, and parts of her heart were stirring. Not acceptable. She had forced him out of her heart years ago; she couldn’t allow him back in.

She turned to Ethan. “Grab those blankets behind the seat there.”

Just like the family she used to fantasize about, they made their way up the front walkway carrying the sleeping boys into the house. Of course, in her daydreams the furniture wasn’t covered in dust and neglect and her heart in guilt.

For years, it had been Max she saw in those dreams. It took persistence and hard work to get him out of her head. Unfortunately, he had grown up even better looking than her imagination, but he still wasn’t the right one for her.

Her feelings had to be buried the moment her father informed her who he was. He lost his mother because of her. Even if he could still like her, she didn’t deserve his love.

If he ever found out the accident was her fault, he would hate her. That might be better. Now that he was back, those long-buried dreams had found their way to the surface.

Ethan opened the door. Inside, they settled the boys on the sofas and covered them with the clean afghans and quilts. She said a soft prayer for the little guys and their big brothers. Looking up, she found Max staring at her and quickly turned away.

She needed God’s guidance in all of this. It felt as if she was walking on dangerous ground with hidden trip wires ready to blow everything up.

In the washroom, they found the ladder from the crawl space pulled down. “Sammi? Are you up there?”

After a few thumps and some other noises, the youngest Bergmann sister peeked over the edge of the trapdoor. “Yep. It’s a mess up here. You got a whole colony of squirrels that need to be relocated, and they’ve been chewing on the wiring.”

She disappeared.