A Handful of Heaven

Evan pocketed his phone and set his purchases on the scarred wooden counter as Dalton slid behind to run the decades-old cash register. Funny thing how he had a better view of the diner from here. And he could see not only the diner, but also the woman who ran it, out salting down the freshly shoveled sidewalk in front of the door.

She looked as lovely as the day’s sunshine. She wore a bright yellow spring coat over her standard dark sweater and jeans, and he couldn’t remember ever noticing her in a bright color before. If he had, surely he would have taken a long second look. The splash of color brought out the pale rosebud pink of her cheeks, and the sheen of golden highlights in her dark brown hair. Teenagers climbed out of a minivan, calling out to her, and she greeted them with an unguarded smile.

The impact hit him like a punch to his chest.

“Should I just put that on your bill, Evan?” Dalton asked.

“Uh…yep.” Rattled but not wanting to show it, Evan nodded thanks to the storeowner, grabbed his bagged purchase and walked on wooden legs to the doors. He was only distantly aware of pushing through the swinging door and into the chill of the wind. Cold penetrated his shirt, for he hadn’t zipped his jacket, but it registered only vaguely. He could not seem to take his eyes off Paige.

She was talking with the kids, listening attentively, her head tipped slightly to the left, her thick fall of bangs cascading over her forehead. She was pretty. She was nice. She was a good mom. That was easy to see as her son stood at her side, tall and good-natured; Evan remembered that Alex McKaslin had played on both the football and basketball teams with Cal. He was a good kid. And Paige, as busy as she was, had made it to every game, home and away. A longing filled him as he inexplicably felt drawn to her, and suddenly the distance between them seemed intolerable.

What was happening to him? You’re lonely, man, he admonished himself. And loneliness was wearing on him. Making him vulnerable. Making him wish for what he knew was impossible. For what he never wanted to try again. Marriage had been a miserable path for both him and Liz: even though he’d tried his best to make her happy, he’d failed.

It wasn’t all his fault—he took what blame was his and he’d learned from it, but she’d been a hard woman to please. Selfish to the core, and in leaving she had ruined his credit and nearly bankrupted him, holding the custody of the boys over him. That’s what he should be reminding himself of every time he looked at Paige McKaslin.

Except it was hard, and he didn’t know why the memory of the disasters and hurts of his past weren’t keeping his interest in her at bay. Paige was talking with the teenagers now, easy and open. Her son and the other kids seemed to like her so well. She ushered them inside, holding the small plastic bag of rock salt in the crook of one arm. When she stepped through the threshold and out of sight, it was as if the sun had slipped behind a cloud, and he shivered.

“Evan! Earth to Evan! Are you all right, man?”

Evan realized he’d been staring across the street as though he was mesmerized. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts, and looked around. His big burly brother-in-law was bounding down the sidewalk, his plumber’s van parked six or seven car lengths up the street. He realized Phil must have called his name several times. Do I look like a fool, or what?

Not knowing what to do with himself, he yanked open the passenger door of his truck and tossed the bag on the floor. “Phil. You look ready to work.”

“I came to get a better look in the crawl space. Didn’t want to wear my Sunday best.” Phil was no dim bulb. There was a knowing twinkle in his eyes as he gazed across the street. “That Paige McKaslin sure is a nice lady, don’t you think?”

That sounded like a loaded question. Just how long had he been watching Paige? And how transparent had he been? “She seems nice enough. She runs a good business. Serves some of the best food in the county.”

“All good reasons to go get something to eat at her place, right?” Phil seemed to take that in stride.

As Evan stepped off the curb, he realized that maybe he’d been misreading Phil’s statements. He was starting to scare himself. But considering the financial devastation a woman had brought to his life, he probably should be terrified. He was committed to being totally single. That was the way of it. Nothing was going to change his mind about that. “I’m in the mood for some good homemade chili.”

“Homemade chili?”

“It’s her family’s recipe. Her parents and her grandparents. It’s good stuff.”

“Now you’ve got me hungry. How are the boys?”

“Do you think I know? Good, I guess. They’re busy. You just wait. Has your daughter picked a college yet?”

“She’s got another year, thank the Lord, but that’ll go by quick. Then Marie and I won’t know what to do with ourselves.” Phil hiked up onto the sidewalk, his toolbox rattling. He seemed nonchalant about the upcoming change in his life—as if it would be an easy transition.

Not so easy. Then again, Phil had a good wife. A woman who’d stood by him and worked beside him every day of their marriage. An empty nest might not be so empty in the presence of a happy marriage. But a happy marriage—those had to be rare. It certainly hadn’t happened for him.

“Hi, Mr. Thornton. Welcome back.” One of Paige’s teenage twin cousins cracked her gum and pulled out two menus. “Wherever you wanna sit. You just go ahead and pick.”

“Thanks. You might want to let Paige know that the plumber is back with some questions.”

“Oh, yeah, like, I’ll go get her.” The teenager accompanied them down the aisle. “Paige is having a day.” She rolled her eyes. “So it’ll probably be a minute or two before she’s free.”

Evan remembered what Cal had called the McKaslin twins, who were a year behind him in school: A hundred percent clueless, but they get your order right. He’d suspected Cal had a crush on one of them—he wasn’t sure if it was this one, since the girls were entirely identical right down to their hair styles and jewelry.

Evan chose a booth in the back away from the crowd of teenagers that had settled into two booths near the front. He recognized most of them from the church’s youth group. Cal had been active in it up until he’d left home.

Evan opened the menu as a formality, mostly to give him a moment or two to develop a plan. Paige McKaslin had blown him away last night, and he hadn’t expected that. And today when he’d seen that private side of her, it had been something he’d never seen in her before last night. What would he do if last night had changed things between them?