“Must be nice to have family.” He joined her on the walk, his gait easy and athletic, his voice amicable.
“It is.” She paused at the end of the walkway, where the sidewalk would take her left to the driveway, where her car was parked. “I don’t know what I’d do without my family. I have one older brother and five older sisters.”
“Sounds like heaven to me. I’m an only kid.”
“Was that a little lonely growing up?”
“Sometimes.”
It was hard not to feel for him. “As a kid, I always had someone looking out for me and someone to do things with. I was hardly ever alone. It’s probably why I like spending so much time alone now.”
“I pretty much had to figure things out for myself when I was little.” He knelt to grab his box of books. It was packed with what looked like mysteries. Though it had to be heavy, he lifted the box with ease.
So he was a serious reader. That didn’t surprise her one bit. He looked nearly perfect standing in the golden brush of the light, with the gentle breeze ruffling his blond hair and an expression of seriousness on his face. Why, she suspected if her sister Ava were to drive up right now she would call him a Mr. Wishable.
Worse, she would probably go on to call him Mr. Right, and there was no way he could be that. Knowing her luck, she had probably missed the boat to Mr. Right and would be forever standing on the dock. “It was good to meet you, Chad Lawson. I’ll see you on Wednesday night.”
“Definitely.” He folded up the flyer and slipped it into his book box. “Have a good time with your niece and nephew.”
“I will. Tyler’s five, he’s total fun, and the two-year-old keeps me on my toes.” Why wasn’t she leaving? You’re late, late, late, Rebecca. So exactly why was she lingering, as if she didn’t want to go? “Good luck with the moving. It’s a special kind of torture. I hope it goes all right.”
“Thanks. I’m lucky that I packed light, but it’s still a pain.”
“Did I say thanks for stopping to help me out? I can’t remember if I did.”
“You did.”
“Good. Forgive me, I’m more scattered than usual. I’m not normally like this. Goodbye, Chad.”
“Bye.” As if she was ever scattered at all, he thought, dismissing her self-deprecating sense of humor. He watched her saunter over to her little red Honda parked in the driveway in front of her closed garage door. The car suited her, zippy and fun and cute all at once.
Yep, she was real nice.
The sun’s heat beat down on him, and he realized it was getting late and the box he was holding was getting heavier. He resisted the urge to give Rebecca one last look as her car backed slowly out of the driveway. But as he headed for his apartment, he thought of her.
Chapter Two
“Rebba?”
Madison wobbled into the TV’s glare. The little girl was pure sweetness with her light brown curls, big wide eyes and pixie’s face. Tonight she wore her pink-and-purple Cinderella pajamas and a sleepy frown.
Rebecca was out of the chair in a second, scooping up the warm, sleep-snuggly toddler into her arms. “What is it, princess?”
“Thirsty.” A huge yawn, and then both little arms wrapped around Rebecca’s neck. “Where’s Mommy?”
“She’s still out with your daddy.” Rebecca started for the kitchen. “Let’s get you that water and put you right back to bed.”
“I want Daddy.”
“I know you do, princess.” She opened the cupboard door with one hand, found the pink cup with the princesses on it and turned on the tap. The water was nice and cold and she filled the cup partway. “He’ll be home before you know it.”
“Ye-ah.” Madison sighed, clearly missing her parents. Hers was a loving and secure world. Heaven knew that Danielle and her husband, Jonas, did everything they could to ensure that for their kids.
As she held the cup to her niece’s lips and tipped it so she could drink in dainty little sips, Rebecca had to wonder. Would her life have turned out differently if her biological dad had been a good man? She had been wondering this a lot lately. The breakup and the man Chris turned out to be was still troubling her.
She’d been younger than Madison was now when her real dad had walked out on the family after beating her mom so badly that she’d been in the hospital for weeks.
Poor Mom. That time was nothing but a scary, hazy blur to Rebecca. She had been too young to understand, but she could see her big sister Danielle standing between her and their rage-filled father. Nearly a lifetime later, she could still hear her mom’s broken sobs and the wounded sound she made, lying so still in the corner.
A year later, Mom had married John McKaslin, changing their lives for the better forever. John—who she thought of as her real dad—was a great blessing. Since the day she’d stepped foot in his house, she’d been as safe and secure as Madison was now. She hadn’t gained just a great dad, but also a big brother and loving older sisters who couldn’t have been more wonderful to her.
“Done?” she asked when the sleepy toddler pushed the cup away.
“I want Minnie.” She rubbed her eyes with both little fists.
“She’s probably in bed waiting for you.” Rebecca set the cup on the counter and gave her niece a smacking kiss on her plump cheek. “Want to go see?”
“O-o-o-kaay.” Madison yawned again.
What a cutie. Rebecca held her little niece snug, weaving through the dark house by memory. As she passed by her nephew’s bedroom door, she caught sight of him asleep in his bed. He and his dog were faintly graced by the glow of his night-light. He was a cutie, too. She padded down the hall.
Madison gave a tired whine at the sight of her bunny tucked neatly under the covers. Minnie’s head and ears were dark against the pale pillowcase.
“See?” Rebecca lowered the child into her bed. “I told you Minnie was waiting for you.”
Eyes drooping, head bobbing, Madison reached out to gather her favorite stuffed animal into her chubby arms, snuggled close and was half-asleep before her head touched the pillow. Rebecca smoothed the girl’s flyaway curls, and Madison sort of smiled through her sleepiness, slipping away to sweeter dreams.
Yep, Rebecca thought as her heart filled. A total cutie.
It was a pleasure to tuck the little girl’s covers around her and tiptoe to the door. The throbbing blue light from the distant TV made the hallway feel surreal, as if this was but a dream, a vision of what she’d always wanted for herself.
Those things were so far away now. Okay, it was her decision to institute a No Man policy and that was great because it kept her heart safe. But at the same time it felt as if time were slipping by. She’d been so busy racing to grow up, enjoying her college years and then hoping her relationship with Chris would lead her to a life like this.
It hadn’t, and now she felt empty in the pit of her stomach and in the chambers of her heart. Even in her soul, she felt alone.
She wasn’t alone. She knew that as surely as she knew there was a floor at her feet. Her faith was rock solid, her family an unbreakable support and yet she felt hollow, as if she were missing a great part of herself.
No, she corrected, she was missing these dreams of children and marriage, of home and a future.
She checked again on Tyler, who slept on his side facing the wall so all she could see of him was tufts of brown hair and his Dalmatian asleep on the foot of his bed. Lucky lifted his head a few inches and his tail thumped against the blankets as if to say, “No worries. I’m keeping watch.”
She wandered back to the TV, hardly noticing the hospital drama flashing across the screen. The sound was low so as not to disturb the kids, and she could barely hear the dialogue. She settled onto the couch as her mind drifted back over the day. She resisted the urge to go dig in her bag to check her cell phone, with the ringer off. She guessed that Chris had probably called a half-dozen times. Should she deal with it now, or wait until later?
Later, she thought as she grabbed the remote and hit the off button. Definitely later. What was really calling her name was the triple-chocolate cream pie Danielle had left for dessert. Whatever the trouble, didn’t chocolate always make it better?
She was plating a nice creamy piece when she heard the garage door crank open. It sounded as though Danielle and Jonas were home. Sure enough, a few minutes later the two of them came through the door. The security system chimed their arrival. It was simple to tell by the happiness on her sister’s face that they’d had a good time. Jonas, leaning tiredly on his cane, gave her a nod of thanks, a kind “good-night” and headed down the hall, no doubt to check on the kids.
Danielle set her purse on the end of the counter. “Would you mind cutting me one of those?”