“It will ruin everything.”
Ruin what? He didn’t know and wasn’t asking. He’d grown up with two sisters. Their way of thinking had always been two steps ahead of his.
“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t get so worked up. We’ll go to the trail right now. No big deal.”
“The trail?” she squeaked. “Right now?”
“Yeah, isn’t that what you want?”
“I... I...” Her hands twisted as if she were wringing out a wet washcloth. “I think I’m having a panic attack.” Her breaths came in short, audible gasps.
“Here.” He took a paper bag out of his backpack and handed it to her. “Breathe into this. When you’ve got it under control, tell me what’s going on.”
* * *
Jade slumped on the bench and sucked in a breath. The paper bag crinkled into itself. When she exhaled, it puffed out again. She didn’t dare look at Bryan. First of all, he was a full foot taller than her, and her neck might snap trying to stare at him from her seated position. Secondly, the sight of him made her gooey insides extra mushy. His level of attractiveness on a scale of one to ten was a twenty. Those blue eyes reminded her of the desert sky, and he had a cleft in his chin. A cleft! No man should have such touchable dark blond hair.
And now he was restlessly waiting because he seemed to think she owed him an explanation. Which she did, after treating him to a full-blown episode of her ridiculous phobia. She pulled the bag away from her mouth.
“I don’t like forests.” There. She’d said it. And shoved the paper bag right back, daring him to mock her. His eyebrows drew together.
He probably couldn’t comprehend the thought—him so tall, so fit, so at ease outdoors. He was practically perfect. She scowled. The guys she found attractive were always practically perfect—at first. Their charm wore off as they grew condescending, dismissive. No, thanks. She had enough on her hands getting her shop established.
“Why don’t you like forests?”
A hysterical cackle rose in her throat, but she clamped her mouth shut, not allowing it to escape.
Why? Why indeed. Since her breathing had stabilized, she smoothed out the brown bag and set it on her lap. “I’ve never lived around many trees.” Except for the summer in Germany when she was seven—her heartbeat grew faint as the memories returned. He didn’t need to know her secrets. “They’ve always given me the creeps.”
“Oh.” He nodded, rubbing his chin.
Jade lightly massaged her temples. Trying to overcome this fear was impossible. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t tried numerous times. The excitement of quitting her job last month must have given her a false sense of power. Picking a town smack-dab in the middle of dense woods to open her business made no sense.
Except it did.
After Mimi died, Jade kept replaying the wisdom her grandmother shared over the years. One piece of advice had clung to her heart. Jade, honey, I hope you find your Lake Endwell, a place where dreams come true. Poppi and I always said we’d move there, but God had other plans for us. Listen to His plan for your life.
Moving here made perfect sense. Jade wanted her dreams—all of them—to come true.
“I’m missing something, right?” Bryan sounded uncertain. “If you don’t like the forest, why did you move here?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Is there anything I can do?” He propped his foot on the bench.
She hoped so. She’d set her moving plans in motion after poking through Lake Endwell’s website and stumbling across Bryan’s class.
An answer to her prayer.
Living here wouldn’t work unless she could tolerate trees. Yesterday she’d grown dizzy and hysterical driving through the tightly packed woods on the way into town. The thought of breaking down and getting lost... She shivered. How would she be able to make the thirty-minute drive to a mall, the discount stores or an airport unless she overcame this fear?
“I don’t have any experience with not liking trees.” Bryan’s eyes clouded over. “Not sure I can be of much help.”
Maybe Bryan’s class was God’s way of getting her here. Maybe He had another plan in mind for her to get over her affliction. Rising, she brushed off her jeans and willed her lips into a tight smile. “I’ll figure something out.” But what? She hadn’t felt this torn since hearing Mimi had cancer.
“Well, the least I can do is show you around the park.” His low, soothing voice unlatched the tightness around her chest. “You might not feel as scared if you know more about it.”
She added nice to her mental list comprising Bryan Sheffield. But then, didn’t they all seem nice at first? The nitpicking and disapproval began after they realized she wasn’t as great as they’d first thought. The story of her dating life.
“You don’t have to.”
Bryan tilted his head. “You obviously want to get over your fear or you wouldn’t have shown up today. I’m no therapist, but I know my way around the woods.”
“I must seem crazy.” Jade wasn’t a seven-year-old child anymore, and logically, she knew the chances of getting lost again were slim.
“Nah. I married crazy. You’re...” Crimson climbed his neck. “Never mind. Follow me.”
Married? Relief flooded her. Of course he was married. Married and safe. Now she wouldn’t have to worry about being attracted to him. She’d promised herself no romance until she got the rest of her life in order and figured out the right type of guy for her.
“Grab the paper bag,” Bryan said. “You might need it.”
* * *
“Surviving in the woods depends on a lot of factors.” Bryan kept his tone informal as they crossed a wide lawn toward a cluster of hardwoods. Why would anyone be afraid of trees? He could understand not wanting to hike for personal reasons, but to be afraid of the forest was a concept he couldn’t wrap his head around.
Right after class, he was typing fliers. Posting them around town. Asking Aunt Sally and his sisters to spread the word far and wide. Advertising on the radio if need be. He’d have full attendance at next week’s class. One student who was too scared to be out here would not qualify him for the job.
He needed that job.
Tuesday family dinners had become unbearable. All the private loving glances between Claire and Reed. The way Tommy glued himself to Stephanie’s side. Jake and Libby’s inside jokes. Bryan couldn’t take it anymore. He just couldn’t take the loneliness flooding him in their presence.
He glanced at Jade to make sure she wasn’t hyperventilating again. She matched his pace. Quiet, but breathing normally.
Why had he encouraged her to stay? So her emotional state touched a nerve. It didn’t mean she was his responsibility. He had no business spending time with someone so beautiful. And the slip about his marriage? Unraveled threads he’d fought to hide since Abby left. Yeah, she’d cheated on him, but he’d made vows, ones he didn’t take lightly.
A part of him had known the marriage would never work. He’d ignored his instincts and asked her to marry him, anyway. He’d been dazzled by her style. Flattered by her pursuit of him. Fooled into believing she loved him as much as he loved her. No one to blame but himself.
Which was the bigger sin?
The divorce?
Or marrying her to begin with?
“Um, Bryan?” Jade tapped his arm. He almost jumped.
“Sorry,” he said. “Yeah, so if you ever got lost in the woods...”
“Can we not mention getting lost?” Her serious tone made him smile.