Star Quality

Who did sometimes behave a bit like royalty, I had to admit.

“We don’t hold it against you,” said Caitlyn, earnestly. “It’s not like you boast about it or anything. It’s just one of those things. You don’t have to worry like the rest of us. But p’raps you shouldn’t tell your mum about me getting in until you’ve heard, cos I’m sure you will tomorrow.”

But although I hung around the following morning, waiting till the last possible moment, not a single letter came fluttering through the letter box. Caitlyn was in a state of jitters at the school gates, anxious in case the bell should ring before I got there.

“Did it come?” she cried.

I shook my head. “Not yet.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “I was sure you’d have heard by now!”

“It’s OK,” I said. “As soon as I get home, I’m going to give Mum the good news about you.”

Caitlyn opened her mouth to protest.

“No,” I said, “I am! It’s not fair to keep her waiting. She’ll be so pleased when I tell her.”

“But what about you?” wailed Caitlyn. “Why haven’t you heard?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. Post, maybe? Letters are always getting lost.” That, at any rate, was what Dad said. He had this theory that all over London there were huge bags of mail that posties had just dumped. “They’ve probably gone and put it through the wrong door, or something. I’m not bothered! It’ll come.”

I said I wasn’t bothered, and it was true, I wasn’t. Not really. I couldn’t help thinking it was a bit odd, though. Caitlyn obviously thought so, too. I could tell that it was preying on her mind. At breaktime she rushed up to me and hissed, “I know why you haven’t heard!”

I said, “Why?”

“Cos you’re in the second half of the alphabet and we’re all in the first!”

I frowned.

“It’s got to be,” said Caitlyn. “Think about it!”

“Mm … maybe.” I supposed it made sense. Roz Costello, Alex Ellman, Caitlyn Hughes, Madeleine O’Brien. “I’m still going to tell Mum, though!”

I told her when I got back from school that afternoon, even though my letter still hadn’t come. Dad was there as well. He said, “Caitlyn? This is your protégée that you’ve been nursing?”

“I knew it would pay off,” said Mum. “I knew she had it in her!”

“It was me that discovered her,” I said. “Me and Sean. What’s a protégée?”

Dad groaned. “Don’t they teach you anything at that school? Protéger … to protect?”

“You mean, like, Mum’s been protecting her?”

“Guidingher,” said Mum. “Mentoring, if you like.”

Teaching, in other words. I opened my mouth to point out – in case she had forgotten – that I was the one who’d taught her first, but Mum cut in ahead of me. “What I want to know is why Caitlyn’s heard and you haven’t?”

“Oh, we think that’s just cos of me being in the second half of the alphabet,” I said. “All the others are near the beginning.”

“What others?” said Mum, rather sharply.

“Other people that have heard.”

Mum’s eyes narrowed.

“Costello, Ellman,Hughes …” I ticked them off on my fingers.

“They’ve all got in?”

Mum’s gaze flickered across the room to where Dad was sitting.

Dad, very faintly, hunched a shoulder. “Probably just some administrative glitch.”

“Not good enough!” snapped Mum. “Totally unacceptable! If she hasn’t heard by tomorrow, I’m going to be on that telephone demanding to speak to someone.”

“Oh, Mum, no, don’t, please!” I begged. It was bad enough everyone thinking I was like some kind of royalty, just because of who my parents were. I had been quite shocked that Roz and Alex had chosen to tell Caitlyn their good news and not me, simply cos of thinking I was above it all. I wasn’t above it all! I didn’t expect special treatment. I never got special treatment. If anything, Mum was harder on me than on anyone else when she took us for class. She was positively soft on Caitlyn! She never chewed her out or accused her of having arms like waterlogged balloons, like she’d once done to me. But she does undeniably have a lot of influence, and friends in high places, and I desperately didn’t want her wading in on my behalf. I could just hear her. “This is Madeleine O’Brien’s mother. I’m wondering why it is that my daughter hasn’t yet had her letter of acceptance … I presume it is on its way?”

My toes were curling in shame just at the thought of it.

Dad, fortunately, came to my rescue. “Let’s hold fire for a day or two. I’m sure there’s no cause for concern.”

“I’ll give them another twenty-four hours,” said Mum. “But that’s as far as I’m prepared to go.”

“I thought you weren’t worried,” I said.

“I’m not worried!” Mum tossed her head. “What should I be worried about? If Caitlyn’s got in, you’ve got in. I just want things settled.”

Fortunately the letter arrived the very next day. Just in time to stop Mum embarrassing me!

“So what does it say?” said Dad. “I’m on a knife-edge here!”

“It says she’s been offered a place,” said Mum. “What else would it say?”

“You tell me,” said Dad. “All that fussing and fuming!”

“I wasn’t worried,” said Mum.

But I knew that she had been. Just for a little bit, Mum had actually had doubts. She had actually considered the possibility that I might not get in. It was a sobering thought. Did it mean Mum didn’t have faith in me?

Fretfully I said, “If you’d let me go when I was eleven, I’d be in my second year by now. Why didn’t you let me go then? Most people do!”

“Sean didn’t,” said Mum. “He didn’t go till he was nearly fifteen.”

I said, “Jen did!”

But Jen had got married and had a baby and given up dancing. That was practically a sin in Mum’s book.

“Is it because of her you wouldn’t let me?” I said. “Cos you were scared I’d do what she did?”