An Amish Courtship

Samuel tried to smile. “Annie told me where you live.”

“You’ve been to Annie’s?”

“I brought Judith and Esther to her house for the quilting this morning, and I thought I’d stop and see how you were doing.”

Bram stared at him. “If I remember right, when I stopped by the farm last year you told me that I didn’t belong there, and you didn’t want to see me again.”

Samuel took a step back. Ja, for sure, he remembered that day. Bram had been all slicked up in a gabardine suit. An Englischer through and through.

“You didn’t look like you wanted to stay.”

Bram stepped closer. “You didn’t even let me go to the house to see the girls.”

Samuel looked him in the eyes. “You weren’t our brother anymore. You were some fancy Englischer. How did I know what you wanted from us?”

His brother looked down. “You were probably right.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I was hoping to hide out at home, but when you sent me on my way, I had to make other plans.” He smiled then, looking at Samuel again. “I should probably thank you for that. If you hadn’t forced me to move on to Annie and Matthew’s, I would never have met Ellie.”

“But the last time we spoke, at the barn raising, you threatened me.”

“Ja, well, I did, didn’t I? You must understand, there were some dangerous men around and I didn’t want you to get mixed up with them. I was hoping to scare you off.”

Samuel felt the corner of his mouth twitch. “More dangerous than you?”

Bram’s mouth widened in a wry grin. “Dangerous enough. But that’s in the past. My life is different now. Better. Much better.”

Samuel nodded, looking around at the neat, clean barn. “Life has been good to you.”

“God has been good to me.” Bram grabbed Samuel’s shoulder and squeezed it. “What about you? How are things going for you?”

Samuel scratched at his chin, missing the whiskers. “Not as good.”

“When I stopped by last year, it looked like the farm was doing all right.”

He shrugged. “As well as when Daed ran it. The hogs sell, and that brings in cash when we need it.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when Mamm died. How did Daed take it?”

“You don’t know how she died? Annie didn’t tell you?”

Bram shot him a look. “What do you mean?”

“Daed was drunk. He and Mamm were arguing.” Samuel shut his eyes, trying to block out the memory of the shouts, Mamm’s cries. “She fell down the stairs and died three days later.”

“Annie never told me any of this.” Bram ran his hand over his face. “What do you think happened?”

“You know what Daed was like when he lost his temper.”

Bram nodded. “Especially when he was drunk.” He paused and their eyes met. “Do you think that had anything to do with the accident?”

Samuel shook his head. “I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if it wasn’t an accident. I’ve gone over it in my head again and again. All I know is if he hadn’t been drinking, he wouldn’t have been fighting with her. But he drank all the time back then.”

They stood in silence as Samuel relived the memories again, and felt the release of having someone to share his suspicions with. Whether or not Daed had shoved Mamm, causing her fall, or if she lost her balance, he would never know. He had never told anyone about what he had witnessed that day.

Finally, Bram sighed. “I’m sorry, Samuel. I left home because I couldn’t take Daed and his temper anymore, but I left you alone with him. I shouldn’t have done that. We should have faced him together.”

Samuel shrugged. “You know Daed. He kept us working against each other so that we wouldn’t work against him.” Samuel stared at the barn floor as he realized just how strong their father’s influence had been. “We were never friends, were we?”

Bram shook his head. “Daed always picked at me, asking me why I couldn’t be more like you. He always did like you the best, you know.”

Samuel stared. “What do you mean? He always told me that I should be more like you.”

Bram stared back at him, then his laugh came out as a short bark. “That old rascal.”

“It isn’t funny. I’ve spent my life hating you.”

“Same here.” One corner of Bram’s mouth still held a grin. “Ach, then, what do we do about it now?”

Samuel’s thoughts whirled. What did he want? Could he be friends with this man when so many painful memories crowded in?

He stuck his hands in his pockets. “I’m not sure we can ever be brothers.”

Bram had bent his head down, and now looked at him from under the brim of his hat. “Could we be friends?”

Samuel shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Let’s start with a truce, and then go on from there.”

Bram stuck his hand out and Samuel looked at it. Calloused, strong, tanned by the sun. The mirror image of his own as he slowly took the offered hand. Bram’s grip was sure. Firm. Samuel tightened his fingers and Bram’s grip grew firmer. Samuel felt a grin starting as he met Bram’s eyes.

“Truce.”

* * *

Mary sat at the kitchen table while Ida Mae helped Sadie get ready for bed. They had quickly discovered that Sadie became confused easily at night, and more than once had gone to bed with her dress still on, or neglecting a final trip to the outhouse, so the two of them took turns keeping Sadie focused on her bedtime routine until she was finally settled and asleep.

But only half of Mary’s mind was on Sadie and Ida Mae. She drummed her fingers on the table, echoing the rolling thunder of an approaching storm. The rain would be welcome, if they got any. Last year’s drought was one for the history books, Daed had said often enough. But the thunder was outdone by the rising bubble of guilt that pricked at her conscience.

After the quilting today, Annie had sent some jars of canned asparagus and a loaf of bread home with Sadie. Mary hadn’t thought much about it until this evening. While she had been washing up after supper, she had realized that Sadie’s cellar was full of canned goods, and the kitchen cupboards held sacks of flour. Even baking powder and cinnamon. All items that were hard to come by at home.

The entire community was supporting Sadie, not only here in Shipshewana but even folks in Eden Township. They made sure she had enough food in her cupboards and plenty of staples to keep her comfortable. Even Samuel helped with her chores.

Ida Mae came into the kitchen, stifling a yawn. “It’s been a long day, and I’m going to go to bed.”

“Sit down for a minute, first.” Mary used her foot to push a chair out from the table. “We need to talk.”

Her sister yawned again, but sat down. “What about?”

“You know people give food and other things to Sadie. And the Yoders across the road bring a gallon of milk every day.”