The Three Cutters

“‘Ride over Miss Percival, uncle! That will not be very gallant. I will, however, one of these days ride over the property with you, which, as well as Miss Percival, I have not as yet seen.’

“‘Then I can tell you she is a very pretty property.’

“‘If she were not in a ring-fence.’

“‘In good heart, William. That is, I mean an excellent disposition.’

“‘Valuable in matrimony.’

“‘And well tilled—I should say well educated—by her three maiden aunts, who are the patterns of propriety.’

“‘Does any one follow the fashion?’

“‘In a high state of cultivation; that is, her mind highly cultivated, and according to the last new system—what is it?’

“‘A four-course shift, I presume,’ replied William, laughing; ‘that is, dancing, singing, music, and drawing.’

“‘And only seventeen! Capital soil, promising good crops. What would you have more?’

“‘A very pretty estate, uncle, if it were not the estate of matrimony. I am sorry, very sorry, to disappoint you; but I must decline taking a lease of it for life.’

“‘Then, sir, allow me to hint to you that in my testament you are only a tenant-at-will. I consider it a duty that I owe to the family that the estate should be re-united. That can only be done by one of our family marrying Miss Percival; and as you will not, I shall now write to your cousin James, and if he accept my proposal, shall make him my heir. Probably he will more fully appreciate the advantages of five thousand acres in a ring-fence.’

“And Mr Ponsonby directed his steps towards the door.

“‘Stop, my dear uncle,’ cried William, rising up from his easy-chair; ‘we do not quite understand one another. It is very true that I would prefer half the property and remaining single, to the two estates and the estate of marriage; but at the same time I did not tell you that I would prefer beggary to a wife and five thousand acres in a ring-fence. I know you to be a man of your word. I accept your proposal, and you need not put my cousin James to the expense of postage.’

“‘Very good, William; I require no more: and as I know you to be a man of your word, I shall consider this match as settled. It was on this account only that I sent for you, and now you may go back again as soon as you please. I will let you know when all is ready.’

“‘I must be at Tattersall’s on Monday, uncle; there is a horse I must have for next season. Pray, uncle, may I ask when you are likely to want me?’

“‘Let me see—this is May—about July, I should think.’

“‘July, uncle! Spare me—I cannot marry in the dog-days. No, hang it! Not July.’

“‘Well, William, perhaps, as you must come down once or twice to see the property—Miss Percival, I should say—it may be too soon—suppose we put it off till October.’

“‘October—I shall be down at Melton.’

“‘Pray, sir, may I then inquire what portion of the year is not, with you, dog-days?’

“‘Why, uncle, next April, now—I think that would do.’

“‘Next April! Eleven months, and a winter between. Suppose Miss Percival was to take a cold and die.’

“‘I should be excessively obliged to her,’ thought William.

“‘No! No!’ continued Mr Ponsonby: ‘there is nothing certain in this world, William.’

“‘Well, then, uncle, suppose we arrange it for the first hard frost.’

“‘We have had no hard frosts, lately, William. We may wait for years. The sooner it is over the better. Go back to town, buy your horse, and then come down here, my dear William, to oblige your uncle—never mind the dog-days.’

“‘Well, sir, if I am to make a sacrifice, it shall not be done by halves; out of respect for you I will even marry in July, without any regard to the thermometer.’

“‘You are a good boy, William. Do you want a cheque?’

“‘I have had one to-day,’ thought William, and was almost at fault. ‘I shall be most thankful, sir—they sell horse-flesh by the ounce now-a-days.’

“‘And you pay in pounds. There, William.’

“‘Thank you, sir, I’m all obedience; and I’ll keep my word, even if there should be a comet. I’ll go and buy the horse, and then I shall be ready to take the ring-fence as soon as you please.’

“‘Yes, and you’ll get over it cleverly, I’ve no doubt. Five thousand acres, William, and—a pretty wife!’

“‘Have you any further commands, uncle?’ said William, depositing the cheque in his pocket-book.

“‘None, my dear boy: are you going?’

“‘Yes, sir; I dine at the Clarendon.’

“‘Well, then, good-bye. Make my compliments and excuses to your friend Seagrove. You will come on Tuesday or Wednesday.’

“Thus was concluded the marriage between William Ponsonby and Emily Percival, and the junction of the two estates, which formed together the great desideratum—five thousand acres in a ring-fence.”

Mr Seagrove finished, and he looked round for approbation.

“Very good, indeed, Seagrove,” said his lordship; “you must take a glass of wine after that.”

“I would not give much for Miss Percival’s chance of happiness,” observed the elder Miss Ossulton.

“Of two evils choose the least, they say,” observed Mr Hautaine. “Poor Ponsonby could not help himself.”

“That’s a very polite observation of yours, Mr Hautaine—I thank you in the name of the sex,” replied Cecilia Ossulton.

“Nay, Miss Ossulton; would you like to marry a person whom you never saw?”

“Most certainly not; but when you mentioned the two evils, Mr Hautaine, I appeal to your honour, did you not refer to marriage or beggary?”

“I must confess it, Miss Ossulton; but it is hardly fair to call on my honour to get me into a scrape.”

“I only wish that the offer had been made to me,” observed Vaughan; “I should not have hesitated as Ponsonby did.”

“Then I beg you will not think of proposing for me,” said Mrs Lascelles, laughing; for Mr Vaughan had been excessively attentive.

“It appears to me, Vaughan,” observed Seagrove, “that you have slightly committed yourself by that remark.”

Vaughan, who thought so too, replied: “Mrs Lascelles must be aware that I was only joking.”