A Very Single Midwife

Bella nodded as she strained to hear Abbey’s answer and lifted the beanbag onto the bed in readiness.

After the next pain, Abbey stood up and Bella and Rohan helped her onto the bed until she was sitting upright with her hands behind her knees. The next pain came swiftly and the baby’s thatch of dark hair hovered at the entrance to the outside world before disappearing again.

‘The baby took a look and went back,’ Scott whispered, and they all smiled, though Abbey’s smile was tired.

‘I don’t know how many times I’ve heard you say that over the years…’ Her voice strengthened. ‘Just didn’t think I’d ever hear you say it to me.’

‘One more push, Abbey.’ Scott had always felt enormous admiration for the woman who had been midwife in charge until today, but during this labour Abbey had been inspiring with her belief in natural birth and her quiet acceptance of what her body required her to do.

‘Here comes your baby,’ Scott said quietly, and his heart constricted as the newborn eased into his hands as if the infant had finally decided it was time to arrive. Scott glanced at the clock as he gently lifted Abbey’s baby up onto her stomach. ‘Ten past three born. Wonderful, Abbey.’

A birth never failed to uplift him but when he looked at Bella and the joy in her face from this moment, it was as if the dam broke and his own loss overwhelmed him. He acknowledged the two things he’d most wished for in life would never be his. The woman he loved and the son he’d never met.

Scott heard Rohan let out a heartfelt sigh of relief that echoed around the room and it snapped him back into focus. As his medical partner and friend, Rohan had delivered hundreds of babies himself, but Scott could see that none had drained his friend like this.

‘We have a son, Abbey.’ Rohan’s voice was thick with tears. His fingers stroked Abbey’s cheek as if he still couldn’t believe he’d been so blessed, and Abbey smiled up with a love and maternal joy that, despite its intimacy, shone to the darkest corners of the room.

Excluded, Scott had to look away as she decreed, ‘We’ll call him Lachlan.’

Bella smiled at the name Abbey had always fancied. There was something about that private glance shared between husband and wife that made Bella look at Scott, and for once the usually enigmatic Dr Rainford couldn’t hide his bleakness.

Bella’s heart squeezed at the look of raw pain in Scott’s face, but then it was gone. He leaned forward to congratulate the parents and Bella was left with unanswered questions.

Questions for later, Bella thought as she kissed her sister, brother-in-law and precious dark-haired nephew, and returned to what she should be doing as the new midwife in charge. Euphoria at the safe arrival of Lachlan lightened her step as she bustled around and cleared the room of unneeded equipment. Abbey and Rohan deserved private time to share those precious early moments with their son and she would make sure it happened.

A fragment of her concentration tussled with possible reasons for Scott’s depression as she pushed the green-draped trolley into the sluice room. Then she heard the sound of the doctor’s footsteps as he followed her out of the delivery suite, and her fingers stilled.

‘So you’re the new unit manager now that Abbey has given birth earlier than anticipated?’ Scott acknowledged the change in management but he didn’t like it. He hadn’t thought it through when he’d been told that Abbey’s just-as-well-qualified sister would replace his midwife colleague during her maternity leave.

This last month he’d erected a wall between himself and Bella but now she was going to be in his face a lot more than he’d realised. Scott couldn’t prevent the mocking note in his voice that he’d found was his only defence against this woman.

She turned to stare at him and shrugged delicately, and Scott could see the last glimmer of happy tears in her glorious lilac eyes. His heart contracted.

After yesterday’s discovery of his full-grown son, today’s birth was even more poignant. Perhaps if he hadn’t pushed Bella away all those years ago he too would have had the opportunity to watch a son grow to a man. But having been proved a bad husband once, he’d chosen to let the young Bella go.

Bella had been eighteen and a virgin, to his thirty and divorced, and he’d felt a hundred. Freshly qualified in obstetrics, and new to town, he’d been so much under her spell he’d had to take drastic steps to protect her. He’d grown to love and respect Bella too much to risk her suffering the same pain he’d endured by marrying someone so much older than himself.

And today, to see Rohan and Abbey with everything that he desired, their happiness made the bleakness inside him crystallise into shards of pain that hardened on the outside. He felt old, which was the reason he’d never pursued the vibrant and beautiful Bella in the first place. Bella in his life, even a small amount, was a concept he needed to think about, something he couldn’t do when faced with her.

She’d be hard to avoid now.

Bella’s voice brought him back to the present and he’d missed the first part of her sentence.

‘It was only a matter of days before Abbey was going on maternity leave anyway,’ Bella said. ‘Do you have a problem with me as Unit Manager, Scott?’

Her voice had always been gentle but lately he realised there was an underlying vein of inner strength that he’d never associated with Bella. He looked at her, slim and straight, and the top of her flame-red bun only came up to his throat—right where her presence caught him. He swallowed to clear away the tightness.

He’d no idea how he was going to cope seeing her every week day on the ward when all he wanted to do was carry her off to his house and lock her away from the big bad world that had tried to crush her.

Today’s feelings, along with the hurt of realising his ex-wife had kept his son from him all these years, promised some painful hours of reflection in the coming weeks.

Too easily, he fell into his old defence mechanism of superiority until he could sort out this new relationship he’d have to deal with. ‘I think you’ve taken on too much this time, Bella,’ he said. ‘Five days a week running the clinical and administrative side of the ward is different to working part time as the floating midwife.’

‘Abbey managed it!’ Bella sounded less confident than she should have but her older sister had always seemed to take responsibility in her stride.

‘Abbey’s an experienced manager,’ he said, and made his escape before the emotion on her face and the emotions of the afternoon made him say something else he’d regret.

Bella stared after him and bit her lip. The man was insufferable, always had been, and she didn’t know how Abbey had put up with him all these years.

Scott had been giving her, Bella, a difficult time since she’d started part-time orientation on the ward the previous month but it had never been as blatant as today. He’d almost vibrated with some inner rage and Bella hoped she was out of range when the eruption occurred.

He must be at least forty-two now, she supposed, though he looked much younger and as annoyingly handsome as he’d always been. Bella winced at the memory of the teenage infatuation she’d had for the gorgeous young doctor and, more painfully, his disclosure of her crush to Abbey after their mother had died. Even now, when she saw him, he flustered her just being there.

She really had been useless at love. There had been Scott, when she’d been eighteen. He’d seemed to return her feelings for an idyllic few months until she’d been mortified by his sudden change of heart.

Nursing had carried her through that rejection until she’d completed her midwifery.

Then she’d been pursued and won by the obstetrician she’d worked with in the birthing centre in Sydney. After three years of vague promises by Jason, he’d eventually admitted he’d been unfaithful from the start of their relationship and she’d run home. She certainly could pick them.

Finally, last year, she’d been drugged and the victim of a loathsome sexual attack by a vengeful old flame of Abbey’s, which had almost destroyed the last vestiges of her self-worth. She’d wished the drug he’d slipped her had erased her memory of the attack and not just the strength to fight him off. That attack had been hard to come to terms with but out of the ashes of that experience had come her rebirth.

Somehow she’d conquered her fear and helped extricate them all when her attacker had returned to destroy Abbey. Dropping a plant pot on someone’s head from upstairs didn’t make Bella a heroine but it had had the desired effect! When the police had taken the man, Harrows, away, she’d felt the balance of power swing back her way.

She’d felt cleansed of the irrational but sapping guilt the attack had left her with. Instead of the usual scenario of big sister Abbey saving Bella—something Abbey had always done—Bella had saved Abbey! There was salvation in that thought and Bella had used it to drive herself to a new life.

She’d never be the champion her sister was, but she was learning to hold her own. And she would refuse to rely on a man for her happiness. So what Scott Rainford thought of her shouldn’t matter.

Bella kicked a linen bag and the automatic kickboxing hand posture that went with the kick made her laugh at herself. Her year of self-defence classes had turned out to be an absorbing challenge. She’d achieved many things in the last twelve months and Scott Rainford was not going to undermine her success with his bitterness.

She used that thought to insulate herself against the pricking pain she shouldn’t be feeling from mere words. Furiously she cleaned the instruments and wiped the trolley down. He had no idea what she was capable of.

When Bella unlocked her front door it seemed a year since she’d left the house that morning. As she put down her bag, she realised that with all the excitement of Lachlan’s arrival she’d forgotten she had to drive the youth bus tonight.

She stifled a sigh and hung her house keys on the hallstand. The chortling sound of a baby’s laugh made her smile as she wandered into the kitchen.

‘Your meal is on the stove, Bella.’ Vivie, Bella’s nineteen-year-old housekeeper, looked up from the last spoonful of vegetables she was trying to coax into her son’s mouth. She grinned at Bella’s appreciate sniff. ‘I made your favourite. Pumpkin and macadamia soup. And congratulations on being an auntie.’

Bella ruffled the baby’s hair and the little boy gurgled up at her. ‘Thank you, Vivie. You’re a treasure. I’ve just remembered I have two hours before my first bus trip. Do you want to slip up to see Abbey and baby Lachlan while I mind young Ro?’

Vivie’s baby had been named after Abbey’s husband, Rohan. They all shortened the baby’s name to prevent confusion. Bella lifted the lid on the pot and closed her eyes as the soup’s aroma filled the room. ‘You should be a chef, Vivie. Your meals are fabulous.’

Vivie shook her head vehemently. ‘I’m happy here, thank you. And I’d love to see Abbey and the baby for a few minutes if I could.’ Vivie put the spoon down and wiped her son’s mouth with his bib before she lifted him out and onto his play mat in the corner. ‘We saw Rohan. He dropped in to see Aunt Sophie after he left the hospital. He looked pretty blown away by being a father.’

Bella smiled as she ladled soup into a bowl Vivie had left out for her. Rohan had a soft spot for Bella’s elderly maiden aunt who resided in the front rooms of Bella’s big house. An avid punter, Aunt Sophie’s world revolved around her television set and penny-gambling on horse races via telephone.

‘I’ll take Aunt Sophie over to see them when they come home. She hates going out.’ Bella smiled as she imagined her aunt’s visit to Abbey and her baby in a few days. ‘Who’s home?’

Bella’s family home had grown into a self-sufficient refuge for young women in crisis, something Abbey had unintentionally started before she’d moved next door with her new husband. Bella had expanded that aim when she’d taken over the house.