The Mysteries of Paris, Volume 3 of 6

"Do you a favour, M. Rodolph? Lord love your heart and soul! Just say what there is I can do for you, and then see whether I will or no. Come, what is it? Shall I jump into the fire? or curl my best wig with boiling oil? or is there anybody I can worry, bite, pinch, or scold for you? Only say the word. I am wholly at your service, heart and body, your most humble slave; always stipulating that in my service there shall be no offence to Alfred's prior claims on me."

"Oh, my dear Madame Pipelet, make yourself perfectly easy! I want you to manage a little affair for me, which is this: I have got to place out a young orphan girl, who is utterly a stranger to Paris; and I wish very much, with your assistance, to obtain for her the situation vacant in M. Ferrand's establishment."

"You don't mean it? La, I never can think you are in earnest! What! Send a poor, friendless girl to live with such a miserly wretch as that hard-hearted old notary? No, no, M. Rodolph, that was not what you wanted me to do, I'm sure!"

"But, indeed, it is; why, a place is a place, and, if the young person I mentioned to you should not like it, she is not obliged to stay there; and then, don't you see, she would at once be able to maintain herself, while I should have no further uneasiness about her?"

"Oh, as far as that goes, M. Rodolph, it is your affair, not mine; and, whatever happens, remember I warned you. If, after all you have heard, you still think the place would suit your young friend, why, of course, you can please yourself; and, then, to be sure, as far as regards the notary, there are always two sides to every picture, a for and against to every tale; he is hard-hearted as a flint-stone, obstinate as a jackass, bigoted as a Jesuit, that's true enough; but then he is of the most scrupulous punctuality in all his affairs; he gives very low wages, but, then, he pays on the nail; the living is very bad at his house, still it is the same one day as another. In a word, though it is a house where a servant must work like a horse, yet, at the same time, it is one of those dull, quiet, stupid places, where there is certainly nothing to tempt a girl to get into mischief. Certainly, Louise managed to go wrong, but that was all a chance."

"Madame Pipelet, I am going to confide a great secret to your honour."

"Well, then, upon the word and honour of Anastasie Pipelet, whose maiden name was Gulimard, as true as there is a God and heaven, and that Alfred always wears green coats, I will be silent as a stockfish!"

"You must not breathe a word to M. Pipelet."

"That I won't, I swear by the head of that dear old duck himself, if it relates to a proper and correct affair."

"Surely, Madame Pipelet, you have too good an opinion of me to suppose, for a minute, that I would insult your chaste ears with anything that was not?"

"Well, then, go it! Let's know all about it, and, I promise you, Alfred shall never be the wiser, be it what it may. Bless you! he is as easy to cheat as a child of six years old."

"I rely implicitly on you; therefore listen to my words."

"I will, my king of lodgers; and remember that we are now sworn friends for life or for death. So go on with your story."

"The young person I spoke to you about has, unfortunately, committed one serious fault."

"I was sure of it! Why, Lord bless you, if I had not married Alfred when I was fifteen years of age, I dare say I should have committed, fifties and hundreds of faults! I? There, just as you see. I was like a barrel of gunpowder at the very sight or mention of a smart young fellow. Luckily for me, Pipelet extinguished the warmth of my nature in the coolness of his own virtue; if he had not, I can't say what might have happened, for I did dearly love the gay deceivers! I merely mention this to say that, if the young person has only done wrong once, then there are great hopes of her."

"I trust, indeed, she will atone for her past misconduct. She was living in service, in Germany, with a relation of mine, and the partner of her crime was the son of this relative. Do you understand?"

"Do I? Don't I? Go along with you! I understand as well as though I had committed the fault myself."

"The angry mistress, upon discovering her servant's guilt, drove her from her house; but the young man was weak enough to quit his paternal roof, and to bring the unfortunate girl to Paris."

"Well, la, M. Rodolph! What else could you expect? Why, young people will be young people. I'm sure I – "

"After this act of folly came stern reflection, rendered still more severe by the fact of the slender stock of money he possessed being exhausted. In this dilemma, my young relation applied to me; and I consented to furnish him with the means of returning home, on condition of his leaving behind him the companion of his flight, whom I undertook to place out in some respectable capacity."

"Well, I declare, I could not have done more for a son, if it had pleased Heaven – and Pipelet – that I should have had one!"

"I am delighted that you approve of my conduct; still, as the young girl is a stranger, and has no one to give her a recommendation, I fear it will be rather difficult to get her placed. Now, if you would tell Madame Séraphin that a relation of yours, living in Germany, has sent her to you, with a very excellent character, the notary would, possibly, take her into his service; and I should be doubly delighted. Cecily (for that is her name), having only once gone astray, would, doubtless, soon regain the right path in a house as severe and saintly as that of the notary's; and it is for that reason I am desirous of seeing the poor girl enter into the service of M. Ferrand; and, of course, if introduced by so respectable a person as yourself, Madame Pipelet, there would be no fear of her obtaining the place."

"Oh, M. Rodolph!"

"Yes, indeed, my good madame, I am sure that one word from so justly esteemed an individual as you – "

"Oh, my king of lodgers!"

"I repeat that, if you would patronise the young girl so far as to introduce her to Madame Séraphin, I have no fears but that she would be accepted; whereas, you know, if I were to accompany her to the notary's house – "

"I see what you mean; to be sure, it would look just as queer as if I were to introduce a young man. Well, I will do what you wish; it will be serving old Séraphin out as she deserves. I can tell you I have had a crow to pluck with her a long time, and this seems a famous way of serving her out; besides, it's a good lark, any way. So look upon the thing as done, M. Rodolph. I'll cram the old woman well. I will tell her that a relation of my own, long established in Germany, has just died, as well as her husband, leaving a daughter wholly dependent on me."

"Capital! Well, then, without saying anything more to Madame Séraphin, you shall take Cecily to M. Ferrand. All you will have to say is, that, not having seen or heard anything of your relation during the last twenty years, you consider it best to let her speak for herself."

"Ah, but then, if the girl only jabbers German?"

"I assure you she speaks French perfectly well. I will give her proper instructions, therefore you need do nothing more than strongly recommend her to Madame Séraphin, – or, stay, upon second thoughts, perhaps you had better not say any more than you have done on the subject, for fear she should suspect you want to force the girl upon her. You know that, frequently, the very asking a thing produces a refusal."

"I should think I did, too! Why, that was the way I got rid of all the flattering lovers that came about me. If they had never asked me a favour, I don't know what I might have done."

"It is always the case; therefore say nothing more to Madame Séraphin than just this, that Cecily is an orphan, and a stranger here, very young and very pretty, that she will be a heavy burden to you, and that you are not particularly fond of her, in consequence of having long since quarrelled with her mother, and, consequently, not retaining a very great affection for the charge bequeathed to your care."

"What a deep one you are! But never mind, there's a pair of us! I say, M. Rodolph, is it not odd you and I should understand each other so well? Ah, we two should have suited one another to a hair! Gracious, M. Rodolph, when I think what might have happened, if we had chanced to have met when I was such a tender-hearted, susceptible young creature, and so fond of handsome young men, – don't you fancy we should have seemed like made for one another, – eh, M. Rodolph?"

"Hush! Suppose M. Pipelet – "

"I forgot him, poor old duck! His brain is half turned since this last abominable prank of Cabrion's; but I'll tell you about that another time. As for your young relation, make yourself quite easy; I will undertake to play my part so well that old Séraphin shall come to me, and beg to have her as a servant."

"And if you succeed, Madame Pipelet, I have one hundred francs quite at your service. I am not rich, but – "

"Are you making fun of me, M. Rodolph, or do you imagine I am doing what I do for the sake of gain? I declare to God it's out of nothing but pure friendship! One hundred francs! That's handsome, however!"

"Why, I consider it but an act of justice, as well as gratitude, to offer you a sum which, if left several months on my hands, the girl must soon have cost me."

"Ah, well, then, since I can serve you by accepting your hundred francs, of course I have no further objection, M. Rodolph; but we drew a famous prize in the lottery when you came into the house, and I don't care who hears me say it, for I'd as lief cry it on the housetops. You are the very prince and king of good lodgers! Halloa, there is a hackney-coach! No doubt, the lady M. Bradamanti expects; I could not manage to see her well when she came yesterday, but I'll have a precious good stare at her this time; added to which, I've got a capital plan for finding out her name. Come, you shall see me go to work; it will be a famous lark for us!"

"No, I thank you, Madame Pipelet; I have not the slightest curiosity respecting either the name or features of this lady," returned Rodolph, withdrawing to the very end of the lodge.

"Where do you wish to go, madame?" cried Anastasie, rushing towards the female, who was entering.

"I am going to M. Bradamanti's," returned the person addressed, visibly annoyed at having her progress thus arrested.

"He is not at home."

"You are mistaken."

"Oh, no, I am not!" said the porteress, skilfully contriving so to place herself as to command a perfect view of the stranger's features. "M. Bradamanti has gone out, positively, absolutely gone out; that is to say, he is not at home, except to one lady."

"'Tis I, he expects me; and pray, my good woman, allow me to pass; you are really troublesome!"

"Your name, madame, if you please? I shall soon see if it is the name of the person M. Bradamanti desired me to admit. Should yours not be the right name, you don't go up-stairs, unless you first trample on my body!"

"Is it possible he could be so imprudent as to tell you my name?" cried the female, with as much surprise as uneasiness.

"Certainly he did, madame, or how should I know it?"

"How very thoughtless!" murmured the stranger. Then, after a momentary hesitation, she said, impatiently, in a low voice, and as if fearful of being overheard, "My name is D'Orbigny."