The Mysteries of Paris, Volume 5 of 6

"Yes; he behaved very ill in that way."

"Well, this vicomte has got another title."

"What, is he a comte?"

"No, but from swindler he has become thief!"

"Ah, bah!"

"They are after him for some diamonds he has stolen; and, by the way, they belonged to the jeweller who used to employ that vermin of a Morel, the lapidary we were going to arrest in the Rue du Temple, when a tall, thin chap, with black moustaches, paid for this half-starved devil, and very nearly pitched me and Malicorne headlong down-stairs."

"Ah, yes, yes, I remember; you told me all about it, Bourdin, – it was really very droll! But as to this dashing vicomte?"

"Why, as I tell you, Saint-Remy was charged with robbery, after having made his worthy old father believe that he wished to blow out his brains. A police agent of my acquaintance, knowing that I had been long on the traces of the vicomte, asked me if I could not give him information so that he could 'grab' the dandy. I had learned (too late for myself) that he had 'run to earth' in a farm at Arnouville, five leagues from Paris; but when we got there the bird had flown!"

"But next day he paid that acceptance, – thanks, as I have heard say, to some rich woman!"

"Yes, general; but still I knew the nest, and he might have gone there again, and so I told my friend in the police. He proposed to me to give him a friendly cast of my office and show him the farm, and as I had nothing to do and it was a rural trip, I agreed."

"Well, and the vicomte?"

"Not to be found. After having lurked about the farm for some time, we gained admittance, and returned as wise as we went; and this is why I could not come to your orders sooner, general."

"I was sure it was something of this sort, my good fellow."

"But, if I may be allowed to ask, how the devil did you get here?"

"Wretches, my dear fellow, a set of wretches who, for a miserable sixty thousand francs of which they declare I have wronged them, have charged me with a breach of trust and compelled me to resign my office."

"Really, general! Well, that's unfortunate! And shall I then work for you no longer?"

"I am on half pay now, Bourdin, – on the retired list."

"But who are these vindictive persons?"

"Why, only imagine, one of the most savage of all is a liberated convict, who employed me to recover the amount of a bill of seven hundred miserable francs, for which it was requisite to bring an action. Well, I brought the action, and got the money and used it; and because, in consequence of some unsuccessful speculations, I swamped that money and several other sums, all these blackguards have assailed me with warrants; and so you find me here, my dear fellow, neither more nor less than a malefactor."

"And does it not alarm you, general?"

"Yes; but the oddest thing of all is that this convict wrote me word some days ago that this money being his sole resource for bad times, and these bad times having arrived (I don't know what he means by that), I was responsible for the crimes he might commit in order to escape from starvation."

"Amusing, 'pon my soul!"

"Very; and the fellow is capable of saying this, but fortunately the law does not recognise any such accompliceships."

"After all, you are only charged with breach of trust?"

"That is all. Do you take me for a thief, Maître Bourdin?"

"Oh, dear general! I meant to say there was nothing very serious in this."

"Why, I don't look very down, do I, my boy?"

"By no means; never saw you looking better. Indeed, if you are found guilty, you will only have two or three months, imprisonment and twenty-five francs fine. I know the law, you see!"

"And these two or three months I shall contrive, I know, to pass quietly in some infirmary. I have a deputy at my elbow."

"Oh, then, you're all right."

"Yes, Bourdin; and I can scarcely help laughing to think what little good the fools who put me here have done themselves, – they will not recover a sou of the money they claim. They compel me to sell my post, – what do I care?"

"True, general; it is only so much the worse for them."

"Yes, my boy. And now for the subject on which I was anxious to see you, Bourdin; it is a very delicate affair, – there is a lady in the case!" said Maître Boulard, with mysterious self-complacency.

"Oh, you gay deceiver! But, be it what it may, you may rely on me."

"I am greatly interested in the welfare of a young actress at the theatre of the Folies-Dramatiques. I pay her rent; but, you know, the absent are always in the wrong! Alexandrine has applied to me for money. Now I have never been a very gay fellow, but yet I do not like to be made a fool of; so, before I comply, I should like to know if the lady is faithful. I know there is nothing more absurd and uncommon than fidelity, and so you will do me a friendly service if you could just watch her for a few days and let me know your opinion, either by a talk with the porter at her abode or – "

"I understand, general," said Bourdin; "this is no worse than watching a debtor. Rely on me; I will have an eye to Mlle. Alexandrine, – although, I should say, you are too generous and too good-looking not to be adored!"

"My good looks are no use, my friend, so long as I am absent; and so I rely on you to discover the truth."

"Rely on me."

"How can I, my dear fellow, prove my gratitude?"

"Don't mention it, general."

"Pray understand, my dear Bourdin, that your fees in this case will be the same as if you were after an arrest."

"I can't allow it, general. As long as I act under your orders, have you not allowed me to shear the debtor to his very skin, – to double, treble, the costs of arrests? And have you not sued for those costs for me as eagerly as if they were due to yourself?"

"But, my dear fellow, this is very different; and, in my turn, I declare I will not allow it."

"Mon général, you will really make me quite ashamed if you do not allow me to make these inquiries as to Mlle. Alexandrine as a poor proof of my gratitude."

"Well, well; be it so. I will no longer contend with your generosity; and your devotion will be a sweet reward to me for considerations I have always mixed up in our transactions."

"Very good, general; and now we understand each other. Is there anything else I can do for you? You must be very uncomfortable here. I hope you are à la pistole (in a private room)?"

"Yes; I came just in time to get the only empty room, – the others are being repaired. I have made myself as comfortable as possible in my cell, and am not so very miserable. I have a stove and a very nice easy chair; I make three long meals a day, and my digestion is good; then I walk and go to sleep. Except my uneasiness about Alexandrine I have not so much to complain of."

"But for you who were such an epicure, general, the prison diet is very poor."

"Why, there is an excellent cookshop in my street, and I have a running account with him, and so every two days he sends me a very nice supply. And, by the way, I would get you to ask his wife – a nice little woman is Madame Michonneau – to put into the basket a bit of pickled thunny. It is in season now, and relishes one's wine."

"Capital idea!"