Wayside Weeds

He took the club of cypress wood
And smote what seemed a mighty blow,
But, though the aim was true and good
The ball remained in statu quo.

“Alack and well-a-day,” he cried,
“A duffer must I ever be,
A duffer I have lived and died
A duffer through Eternity.”

    1905.

When Potter Played

When Potter played in front of me
The other day upon the links,
The mist rolled landward from the sea
(The sleepy Caddie yawns and blinks),
We watched him waggle at the tee
And curl his body into kinks,
When Potter played in front of me
The other day upon the links.

We watched him make the divots flee
And dribble o’er the bunker’s brinks,
The dewdrops sparkled on the lea,
The sun shone through the fog bank’s chinks.
My partner, hopeful, said to me
“He’ll lose, and let us through methinks!”
When Potter played in front of me
The other day upon the links.

The noonday sun looks down in glee
While Potter in the bunker swinks,
He plies the niblick merrily
While Caddie unto Caddie winks.
The crow on yonder tall fir tree
Looks down and caws at such high jinks,
When Potter played in front of me
The other day upon the links.

The shadows fall on land and sea,
The sun to rest in splendour sinks,
And Potter crouched on hand and knee
Thinks out each putt, and thinks and thinks.
We all got home too late for tea!
My mind with grief and horror shrinks
From memory of the day when we
Played after Potter on the links.

    1910.

Colonial Preference

Macgregor, always spick and span,
Was quite the military man.
He never walked about the town
Arrayed in sober cap and gown,
But blazed in scarlet, gold and steel,
And clanked a sabre at his heel.
He took no pride in his degree,
In F.C.S. and F.I.C.,
But wrote with joy akin to tears
C.D., Canadian Engineers!
Macgregor had been often sent
His country’s arms to represent,
To Chatham, Woolwich, Aldershot,
Or anywhere, it mattered not.
He always followed, never weary,
“Quo fas et gloria duxere.”
At length, because they thought him yearning
To represent his Country’s learning,
Toronto Universitee,
Knowing how ready he would be
Alike in “bello” and in “pace,”
Despatched him to the I.C.A.C.
He packed his trappings Academical,
And sailed to join the Congress Chemical,
Which met that year in London reeky,
To study “la chimie appliquée.”
Watching the vessel’s fall and rise,
’Twas thus he did soliloquise —
“I may not wear my sword and spurs,
But one glad thought my bosom stirs,
’Tis this that I shall surely be
Presented to His Majesty!
It may be when he sees my face
He will reward me with a place
With my deserts commensurate
The Secretary, say, of State
For War, or give me Chief Command
Of all his troops on sea and land!”
Arrived in town, his journey done,
He took a cab to Kensington,
Sir William Ramsay, honest man,
With kindly words to greet him ran.
“Put on,” he cried, “your cleanest shirt
And free your hands and face from dirt,
To-morrow you shall go with me