The Goodbye Groom

If Shawn had genuinely shared her dreams, why had he left her? Why hadn’t he shared all of his life with her? And why, dammit, had she been so blinded by love? Had she missed warning signs she might have seen otherwise?

Jamie was shaking inside. She sat in the car for a long time, gazing out the windshield. The flurry of unanswered questions tormented her. Perhaps the most insistent of all: What am I really doing here?

Finally, she placed her hands, which had steadied, on the wheel and pressed her foot on the gas once more.

IT OCCURRED TO ERIC that his Seattle office, of late, suffered from a split personality. A crisis of identity. It had all the necessary business accoutrements—executive desk, state-of-the-art computer, digital scanner—but one large corner had recently been converted into a play area, complete with puzzles, building blocks and stuffed animals. Taking pride of place were a long-lashed giraffe and a woolly mammoth.

Could you really run a company and at the same time compensate for having been a less-than-stellar father? Eric was trying to find out just that. He’d arranged his schedule so that he could work from home whenever possible, as well as bring Kaitlin into the office with him. He was trying to juggle everything in his life without dropping a ball. His gaze strayed toward the framed photographs displayed on his desk. Kaitlin’s school portrait from last year, as well as a picture of her when she was only a few months old.

The first time Eric had held his daughter, everything had seemed possible to him. Her tiny fingers had curled around his. Odd, in a way, that such a small bundle of pink had made him feel invincible. But his child had needed him, depended on him, so of course he would be strong. Of course he would conquer the world. But even then she’d looked up at him solemnly, as if already searching the depths and complexities of their future together.

Had he begun to fail her even then? Had he spent too much time pursuing his work responsibilities and not enough time simply being her dad? Had he too often gone through the motions of being a father?

A sound at the doorway drew him from his brooding thoughts. He saw Jamie Williams framed there as if in a painting. The clear hazel of her eyes, the nuances of red and gold in her hair, the warm tone of her skin, as if a touch of sunlight had been captured there, created a palette of colors.

It hadn’t been all that long since he’d seen her—he’d driven her to the ferry only this morning—but he found himself analyzing certain facets of her as if for the first time. The determined tilt of her chin, the sexy curves hinted at by that dress…

Eric rubbed his neck where that inconvenient crick seemed to have lodged of late. He reminded himself that Jamie Williams was his brother’s problem.

Jamie’s expressive face conveyed evident frustration. “I thought—I’d hoped, anyway…” Her voice trailed off. He knew exactly what she’d hoped: to find Shawn here.

Jamie seemed to be reordering her thoughts. She stepped into the office. “I didn’t imagine you’d be here,” she said. “You’d mentioned staying on the island today.”

“Change of plans,” he told her. “Happens more often than I’d like. Minor business emergencies. I suppose you’ve already been to Shawn’s house.”

“Yes.”

“And he wasn’t there.”

“No, he wasn’t.”

“Afraid there’s no sign of him here, although our receptionist tells me Shawn called to check his messages early this morning—without leaving a word about where he was…or when he would return.”

Jamie appeared to tense at this information, but afterward the two of them seemed to run out of conversation. She stood halfway between the door and his desk, a slight frown on her face. Too bad Eric couldn’t tell her what she needed to know, but he didn’t have any insights to offer.

“Well,” Jamie said at last. “It seems I’m at a dead end.”

Eric went to pull out the chair on the other side of his desk. “Have a seat,” he said. “And maybe…” Hell, what did he mean to say? That he’d brainstorm with her, try to think where Shawn could be? Bad idea. The best thing for her to do was go back to New Mexico and forget all about his brother.

She hesitated for a moment, but then she did sit down. Eric leaned against a corner of his desk. Jamie made a gesture that seemed to convey the futility of her situation.

“I just don’t believe this,” she muttered. “What do I do next—where do I go from here? Before Shawn, I always knew where I was headed. I could see tomorrow and the next day and the next. But now…”

There’d once been a time when Eric had been able to see his own way clearly. These days, however, clarity of vision was not so easy to come by.

“He has to show up sooner or later,” Eric said. “He is half of this company, after all.”

“You don’t sound too optimistic about that.”

“Shawn always has kept his own schedule,” Eric had to admit. “Although he has a job title and a job description, he tends to neglect the day-to-day.”

Jamie drew her eyebrows together. “Nonetheless, clearly he has responsibilities here. Why didn’t he tell me any of this? What was he even doing in New Mexico?”

“Perhaps it was something of an escape.”

Jamie gave him a hard look. “Escape. Why would he need that?”

He’d been mulling over certain possibilities, certain explanations for Shawn’s behavior, but now he pulled back. It was useless, damaging speculation.

When he didn’t answer, Jamie gave a weary shrug. “Very well, I understand. There are things you simply don’t want to talk about where Shawn’s concerned. But why didn’t he ever tell me about his family, about his work…about his life?”

Why, indeed.

Eric regarded Jamie, and she seemed to grow annoyed with his scrutiny. She sat up a bit straighter.

“I can guess what you’re thinking. You’re trying to figure out what I’m doing here at all. Why didn’t I just stay at home and nurse my wounds in private, like a normal jilted fiancée?”

It occurred to Eric that he felt a reluctant admiration for Jamie Williams, precisely because she hadn’t stayed at home to hide out. Clearly she was a fighter. She had courage. But that didn’t change the fact that she was his brother’s concern, not his.

“Jamie,” Eric said, “Shawn could be anywhere right now.”

“So I should just give up and go back to Albuquerque?” She gave Eric another sharp glance. “You’re almost starting to look relieved. You’d like to think of me boarding a plane tomorrow, heading back to New Mexico. Another of Shawn’s messes resolved—or at least out of your way.”

Jamie Williams was a little too astute. He’d definitely been thinking along those lines. They looked at each other, and tension seemed to thrum between them. She was a beautiful, desirable woman who’d been mistreated by his brother. And, yes, he’d be relieved when she returned to her own life.

Just then, his daughter appeared in the doorway, her arms wrapped around a stack of file folders. When Kaitlin saw Jamie, she took a step back as if suddenly unsure. Yesterday she’d obtained a certain ease with Jamie, but that seemed to have vanished. Did she have difficulty trusting anyone these days?

“Hey there, peanut,” Eric said. “Thanks for helping Mrs. Lewis with those copies.”

Kaitlin nodded briefly and slid over next to him. She placed the files very carefully on the desk.

Jamie addressed Kaitlin gravely. “Why, hello there, Ms. Sinclair. I asked to speak to the president of the company, and they sent me right here to you.”

Kaitlin seemed to consider this statement, but then dropped her gaze. A tough customer, his daughter.

“That’s a nice outfit,” Jamie went on, apparently undaunted.

Kaitlin fingered the material of her checked blue shirt.

Jamie glanced toward the corner where Kaitlin’s blocks and puzzles and stuffed animals were scattered. She paused, as if debating something with herself. But then, as if she had all the time in the world, she strolled over and sat down on the floor among the toys, the skirt of her dress swirling around her. She gathered some random blocks and began stacking them one on top of the other. She didn’t so much as glance at Kaitlin, behaved as if she couldn’t care less whether anyone joined her.

For a minute or two Kaitlin remained right where she was, pressed against Eric’s desk as if to barricade herself. But then, at last, she sat down next to Jamie on the floor, too. She gathered some blocks and began making her own stack.

Over the next several moments Eric watched the interaction between his daughter and Jamie. Anyone else might say it was almost nonexistent. Jamie seemed intent on making her own tower of blocks and didn’t even glance over to look at what Kaitlin was doing. And that appeared to be exactly what Kaitlin needed. His daughter became absorbed in her own endeavor, trying to see just how high she could go.

Companionable silence. That was what the two of them were sharing.

Eric settled back, studying Jamie. She looked perfectly natural sitting on the floor next to one of Kaitlin’s favorite stuffed animals—a baby cheetah. She behaved as if she had no pressing problems on her mind, no search for a wayward groom in progress. She’d come here hoping to find Shawn and instead she was entertaining Eric’s daughter.