When I'm With You

Alice was busy in the kitchen when Avery wandered in close to noon.

“Well, well, there you are.” She wiped down the counter with a damp cloth. “You were up late.”

Avery plopped down on a counter chair. “Couldn’t sleep after I got in last night. Thought watching television would help. Sorry if I kept you up.”

“Not at all. I’m a night owl. Came down to make some warm milk and I saw the television light on under your door.” She came to stand beside Avery’s hunched form. “Are you feeling okay? You don’t look like yourself.”

Avery forced a smile. “Who do I look like?” she teased.

Alice placed a comforting hand on Avery’s stiff shoulder. “Like a woman who needs to talk.” She sat down.

Avery blinked rapidly. She lowered her head and then glanced briefly at Alice. The only female in her life that she’d confided in was Kerry. Growing into womanhood without her mom, there was a reluctance inside that kept her from forming any female bonds for fear that the bond would be broken, taken from her like her mother was. She had no frame of reference for mothering, even as she desperately craved it.

Tears, unbidden, slid from her eyes. Instinctively, Alice gathered Avery in her arms and held her close, let her cry. Tenderly she stroked her back and cooed soft words into Avery’s hair. “Let it out,” she soothed. “It’s all right.”

“I’m s-orry,” Avery whispered and sniffed.

“Nothing to be sorry for. We all need a good cry every now and then.”

Avery sniffed harder, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and lowered her head.

Alice eased back but kept her hands planted on Avery’s shoulders. “Want to tell me what’s bothering you?” she gently asked.

Avery pushed out a long breath. “I don’t know how to handle being in this family, any family. I’ve had to go at it on my own for most of my life. Then there’s my career. It’s all about orders and following instructions, being on alert, suspicious.” She sighed. “In my life outside of work it’s the only time when I can pull away from the straitjacket of my everyday life. Now, with the wedding and Rafe’s family...all of those mixed feelings and experiences tumble all over each other and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Alice patted Avery’s thigh. “When you spend hours out of your day being on alert, looking for shadows in every corner, it’s got to be hard to let that go, to trust that there are folks that ain’t the boogeyman, that don’t intend to hurt you, that only want to get close because they really do care. Rafe loves you and you love him, and he’s not going to see you struggle against the weight of his overbearing family.” She wagged a finger. “At the same time, you gonna have to dig deep and find a space that you can open.” She smiled. “Burdens and troubles ain’t so heavy when you have help.” She tipped her head to the side. “How many weddings you planned?”

Avery’s eyes widened. Her mouth opened a bit but then closed.

“Hmm. Those girls, if they know nothing else it’s how to put a wedding together.” She chuckled. “Give them and yourself a chance. I understand the ties that bind you at work. You don’t get to speak up, only take orders, and it’s hard to break old habits. But...how ’bout this. Next time, you initiate the get-together. You call Dom or Desi and tell them your thoughts. One step at a time?” Her right brow lifted with emphasis.

Avery pushed out a breath. “You’re right. This is all so new to me.”

“As much as those Lawsons may fuss and feud with each other, the love and the bond that they have is unbreakable.” She squeezed Avery’s hands. “They want you to be part of that. And if you give it a chance, you might find what you’ve spent your life looking for.”

Avery wiped away the remnants of her tears and offered up a wobbly smile. “I’ll try.”

Alice winked. “Good girl. Now,” she planted her hands on her hips, “hungry?”

She smiled for real this time. “Starved.”

Chapter 7 (#u40ac5182-f25d-56f0-9431-a07763e53e69)

Avery finished her late breakfast, took a shower and went for a short run. She pushed through the stiff breeze wrapped in muggy air. Before she’d gone a little more than a block her skin grew damp and a line of perspiration dribbled down the center of her spine. Her limbs pumped. The fuel of adrenaline rushed through her veins, and clarity pushed through the cobwebs of her thoughts.

She loved Rafe. There was no doubt about that. Yes, she was overwhelmed by the rush of family, even a little scared. But if what Alice said was true, they wanted her to be part of who they were. She’d never had that before, but because she wanted a life with the man of her dreams she would find a way to work through her issues.

Avery rounded the corner and headed back to the house. Just as she slowed in front of the walkway, a car door opened and a man got out, blocking her path.

“Avery Richards, right?”

Her senses leapt to high alert. Instinctively her hand flew to her waist, where her gun would have been.

“Whoa!” He held up his hands. “Reporter.”

She frowned. “Reporter? What do you want?” Her nostrils flared.

“I was hoping I could get a statement from you.”

“I don’t give statements.” She tried to move, and he stepped into her path.

Her body flexed. “Step aside.”

“I was hoping you would give me a comment about your engagement to Rafe Lawson. Your father is Horace Richards, right? Senator Richards.”

Her head snapped to the right. “What did you say?” She took a step toward him and he flinched.

“Look, all I want is an exclusive for the paper. Playboy Lawson and heir to the family jewels hooks up with a senator’s daughter—a Secret Service agent—that’s news.”

“Get away from me.” This time she shoved him out of her way and started up the walkway.

“Are you staying here now? Have you moved in?” he shouted to her back.

Avery quickened her step, a beat short of a jog until she reached the front door. She took a quick look over her shoulder. The reporter snapped her picture. She opened the door and shut it solidly behind her. She leaned her back against it, felt her heart hammer in her chest.

Alice was walking toward her with a blue cloth shopping bag in her hand. She stopped halfway. “What is it?”

Avery vigorously shook her head. “Nothing. That run took more out of me than I thought.”

Alice hurried over. “Go in and sit down. I’ll get you some cold water.”

Avery forced a smile. “Thanks. That’s probably what I need.”

Alice went off to the kitchen. Avery pulled herself together and walked out onto the back deck. Now she was being followed by reporters? How in the hell did they know where she...of course, the papers announcing the engagement. She pushed out a breath of frustration and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. This was not good. The last thing she needed was to be followed around by reporters or photographed while she was on duty. Dammit!

Alice pushed open the screen door to the deck. “Here you go, sweetheart.” She extended the glass of ice water toward Avery.

“Thanks, Alice.” She took several long swallows before setting the glass down on the circular wrought-iron table.

Alice studied her for a moment. “Feeling better?”

Avery nodded. “Yes. Thanks.”

“Okay. Well, I have my daily errands to run. Shouldn’t take too long. Need anything while I’m out?”

Her thoughts swam. “Um, no. Thanks, Alice.”

Alice turned and went back inside.