Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 - 9

Skulduggery took his hat off. “Do I look dead?”

“I refuse to answer ridiculous questions.”

“China Sorrows... such a past we share. It’s practically unfathomable, isn’t it? The influence we’ve had on each other’s lives? You helped make me the man I am today.”

China didn’t respond. Instead, she glanced at the man in the chair. “We’ll finish this later.” He nodded, removed the black disc from his arm and winced, then walked out.

“And I,” Skulduggery said as China began cleaning the scalpel, “I’m sure I’ve affected your growth as a person in equally memorable ways. The years we spent as enemies, hunting and fighting and warring... From a spoiled little disciple of the Faceless Ones to leader of the Diablerie and now look at you. The leader of the Resistance. You’ve changed.”

“I’d hope so. Where have you been all this time?”

“That doesn’t really matter.”

“It matters to me.” China placed the scalpel in a slim case, and closed the lid. “First we have Valkyrie Cain and her reflection appearing out of nowhere, and now we witness the return of the living skeleton after, what, one hundred and fifty years? And they’re friends, no less. So I have questions. Where have you been, what are you doing back, and who are you?”

“You know who I am,” said Skulduggery.

“I know who you were,” said China. “And I’ve asked a lot of people about you, Valkyrie, and no one seems to know who you are or where you came from, either. This is all very mysterious. I don’t like mysteries. They unsettle me.”

Valkyrie suddenly became aware of how vulnerable they were, with Shudder and a handful of Cleavers standing behind them.

“We’re not from here,” Skulduggery said.

China’s gaze flickered to him. “Explain.”

“A Dimensional Shunter sent us here,” Skulduggery said. “We don’t belong in this world.”

“And you expect me to believe that you’re from a parallel universe, then? Is that it? Tell me, does your universe have a China Sorrows?”

“It does.”

“And is she stupid?”

“She is not.”

“Then why would you think I would believe you?”

“We could prove it, if you’d like. Maybe tell you something, something the version of me from this reality probably never knew. For instance, that you delivered my wife and child to Serpine so that he could murder them in front of me. Something like that, perhaps.”

China was silent for a moment. “How long have you known?”

“This last year, but that’s in a whole other reality.”

“And your version of me... did you kill her quickly or did you make it last?”

“Neither. She still lives.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m a lot of things, but I’m no hypocrite.”

“I had a hand in killing your family, in killing you and turning you into what you are now... and you don’t want to kill me for it?”

“Of course I want to kill you,” said Skulduggery. “I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”

“You are different from the Skulduggery I knew.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“What do you need? A way home?”

“That should take care of itself. No, we need to get into Mevolent’s Palace.”

“Why?”

“They’re holding my reflection,” said Valkyrie.

“Let them keep it,” China said. “It’s a reflection. No, there’s something else.”

“There is,” said Skulduggery, “and we need to retrieve it. It’s very valuable to us.”

“Tell me what it is, maybe I have one to spare.”

“I doubt it.”

“You’ll tell me eventually, because I won’t help you otherwise. You could lie to me, of course, but I’d know.”

“Our world is in danger,” said Skulduggery. “We need a weapon powerful enough to kill a god.”

China laughed. “You want the Sceptre? Impossible. Mevolent keeps it in his throne room where it is protected by an Arietti Sigil, and when he leaves the Palace, he has it with him at all times. You’d never get to it.”

“Loan us your captured Teleporter and we’ll surprise you.”

“If I could, I would,” said China. “Unfortunately, he escaped in the confusion when Lord Vile and the Redhoods attacked. He’s back with Mevolent now, along with a dozen of our best fighters. It was not a good day for us.”

“Then get us in some other way, or give us a map and let us try it ourselves. What have you got to lose?”

“A perfectly good map,” China said. “How do you intend to get your hands on the Sceptre, if you do manage to sneak in? Have you any idea how many Redhoods patrol those halls? And what about Vengeous, and Lord Vile? And Mevolent himself?”

“We’ve faced Vengeous and Vile before,” said Skulduggery. “We’ll do OK. As for Mevolent, we’re going to hope that he’s sleeping. It’s not a perfect plan, but it’ll do.”

Valkyrie nodded. “It’s really not a perfect plan.”

“But you can’t use the Sceptre,” China said. “While Mevolent lives, it will only work in his hands.”

“Not once we bring it home with us. We can use it to save our world and, more importantly for you, Mevolent won’t have his most powerful weapon any more.”

China observed them for a long, drawn-out moment. Then she picked up her scalpel case. “I will arrange for a guide to escort you beyond the wall,” she said. “I assume time is of the essence?”