Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 3

He hesitated. “Two.”

“Two? He has an army of Cleavers and he gives us two?”

“Sending any more would arouse suspicion,” Ghastly said. “Meritorious needs a little time to contact Morwenna Crow and Sagacious Tome and convince them that action is necessary, and until he does, this rescue mission is strictly unofficial.”

“Please tell me they’re as good as Skulduggery said they are?”

“Both their uniforms and their scythes can ward off the majority of magical attacks, and there aren’t many deadlier in close combat.”

“Close combat?” Stephanie said with a frown. “What about throwing fireballs and stuff? Are they Elementals or Adepts?”

Ghastly cleared his throat. “Neither, actually. Magic corrupts certain people, and Cleavers need to be seen as completely impartial, so…”

“So they’re not magic? At all?”

“They have some magic, but it just adds to their combat abilities. They’re quite strong and very fast.”

“So what are they going to do? Run around Serpine until he gets dizzy and falls over?”

“If it all goes according to plan, Serpine won’t even know we’re there.”

“And what are the chances of that happening?”

Ghastly looked at her and for a moment he held his ground. Then he looked away. “They’re not great,” he admitted.

“Exactly.”

He looked up again. “But Mr Bliss has offered us his help.”

“He’s coming?” Stephanie asked nervously. She didn’t like the idea of going anywhere with Mr Bliss.

“Not him,” Ghastly said, “but he’s sending someone. Five is a good number; we can sneak in, grab Skulduggery, sneak out. Simple.”

The door opened behind them and Meritorious appeared. “I have arranged your transport,” he said.

They followed him up out of the Sanctuary and exited the Waxworks from the back, where a large van was parked. As soon as Meritorious emerged into the sunlight, two Cleavers walked forward. They took the scythes from their sheathes before they climbed in. Stephanie hoped the van didn’t go over any potholes or she’d be skewered before they even reached Serpine’s castle.

Another person walked forward, a person she recognised from the library.

“Tanith Low,” Meritorious said, “this is Ghastly Bespoke and Valkyrie Cain.”

“We’ve met,” Tanith said, giving Stephanie a polite nod. She carried a sword in a black scabbard, its lacquered surface crisscrossed with nicks and marks.

“Mr Bliss sent you?” Ghastly asked.

“He did. He thought I could be of use.”

“That’s quite a recommendation.”

“He just wants this business to be over with as soon as possible,” Tanith said. “I’m at your disposal for the duration.”

“Then let’s go.”

Tanith climbed into the van and Ghastly got behind the wheel.

“Good luck,” Meritorious said as Stephanie was about to join them.

“Thank you.”

He shrugged. “You’ll need it.”

17 (#uc0cf2925-679b-5137-b0eb-2046d781b6d1)

A FABULOUS RESCUE INDEED

he rescue team stood by the side of the road and looked up at the wall surrounding Serpine’s land. It was maybe three times as tall as Stephanie. Beyond it lay woodland, and beyond that, the castle.

It occurred to Stephanie that if they didn’t get Skulduggery back, it was all over. Serpine would get the Sceptre and the Faceless Ones would return. The fate of the entire planet rested on the shoulders of a skeleton, and the five people sent to rescue him.

“What if we do go up against Serpine?” Stephanie asked, fighting to keep the dread out of her voice. She had to remain strong. She couldn’t let them see that she was just an ordinary twelve-year-old. “What if we can’t just get in and get out without anyone noticing? Do we have a plan if we have to face him?”

“Oh,” Ghastly said, considering it. “No, not really.”

“I’m going to try and cut him with my sword,” Tanith said helpfully.

“Right,” Stephanie said. “Excellent. What about guards? Do you think they’ll be expecting us?”

“Serpine is used to the Elders taking forever to make their calm, thought-out decisions,” Tanith said. “So he won’t be expecting anything as amazingly rash and reckless as this.”

Ghastly nodded. “That’ll teach him to underestimate stupid people.”

“All right then,” Stephanie said. “Just wanted to make sure we’d thought of everything. So let’s go.”

Without a word, the Cleavers ran forward and jumped, legs tucked beneath them, and cleared the top of the wall and disappeared from view.

“Show-offs,” Ghastly muttered, sweeping both hands down by his sides. A gust of wind lifted him and swung him up towards the wall. He grabbed on and pulled himself to the top. Tanith turned to Stephanie.

“Want a boost?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

Tanith crouched, interlocked her fingers and Stephanie put one foot in her hands. On the count of three, Stephanie shot upwards. Tanith was strong, stronger than she looked, because Stephanie had no trouble catching the top of the wall. Ghastly helped her up, then dropped down the other side and turned to wait for her. She let herself hang down then released her grip, and her boots crunched on to dried leaves and brittle twigs. A moment later Tanith landed beside her.

The woodland was thick, and as they moved deeper into it, it became darker. The evening sun had difficulty filtering through the tall trees and it was cold enough to make Stephanie grateful for her coat. The Cleavers didn’t seem to make a sound as they walked. The woodland was quiet, quieter than it had any right to be. No birds sang. Nothing rustled in the undergrowth. It was an eerie sensation.

They reached the tree line at the rear of the castle and ducked down. A small army of Hollow Men patrolled the grounds.

“Oh, joy,” Ghastly said grimly. “How are we going to get by them?”