Skulduggery Pleasant

“Red lights and orange lights,” said Alice. “Do you wish you had lights in your shoes?”

“I do. I really do.”

“They don’t make them for grown-ups, though, I don’t think. Mom, do they make them for grown-ups?”

“I don’t think so,” said Valkyrie’s mother.

Alice nodded. “They don’t. They’re only for small feet like mine.”

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow at her mother. “Mom?”

Melissa sighed. “All the kids call their mums mom these days. I think the young moms kind of encourage it.”

“Do you want to see my dolls?” Alice asked. “I have princess dolls and soldier dolls. Today, the princess dolls rescued the soldier dolls from the evil dragon.”

“Sounds exciting,” said Valkyrie.

“It’s very exciting. Would you love it very much to play with me?”

“I would love it very much.”

“Hold on, hold on,” Desmond said. “Don’t rush off yet. You can play dolls with Stephanie after dinner, OK?”

“But can I show Stephanie my room?”

Desmond sighed. “Of course you can.”

Alice took Valkyrie’s hand and led her upstairs, to Valkyrie’s old bedroom. The walls were light blue with interlocking rainbows traced along the borders. It was the same bed with brighter sheets, the same bedside table and dresser. The same wardrobe.

Valkyrie opened the wardrobe. There was a new mirror on the inside door, to replace the smashed one, the one her reflection used to step out of. That was one of the main secrets Valkyrie still kept from her parents, the fact that they had had a duplicate daughter living with them for years and they never suspected she wasn’t the real thing.

“Do you like my clothes?” Alice asked.

“I do,” said Valkyrie, and closed the wardrobe. “This used to be my room. There were books everywhere and weird posters on the walls … You keep it a lot tidier than I ever did.”

Alice nodded. “That’s what Mom says.” She picked up a small doll, dressed in green with wings and pointed ears. “This is Sparkles. She’s my fairy.”

“I like her wings.”

“She uses them to fly. When there are no humans around, Sparkles comes alive, but when humans come back, she has to pretend to be a toy again.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Valkyrie said, sitting on the bed. “Is she your friend?”

Alice nodded. “My best friend, along with Molly and Alex in school.”

“Wow, you’ve got a lot of friends.”

“It’s important to have friends. They like me because I’m always happy.”

Valkyrie smiled. “Always? You never get sad?”

Alice frowned. “I don’t think so. Molly and Alex are sad sometimes. Sometimes they’re not friends, and they get sad because of that. But I never get sad, even when people aren’t friends with me.”

“You’re a smart girl.”

“Do you get sad?”

“Sometimes.”

“You should be happy like me.”

“I should, shouldn’t I?”

“What do you get sad about?”

“Different things. But it all goes away, isn’t that right? Even when you’re really sad about something, you always feel better after a while.”

“I don’t know,” said Alice, looking puzzled. “I’m always happy, I said.”

Valkyrie laughed. “Of course. Sorry. I forgot.”

“Do you want to see my other toys?”

“Sure.”

They stayed up there until they were called downstairs. In the kitchen, the table was already set and Melissa was carving the roast chicken.

Valkyrie’s stomach rumbled. “Oh, wow, that smells amazing.”

“How amazing?” Desmond said, his eyes narrowing.

“Very amazing.”

“Then would you be interested in a trade? This dinner for a teeny, tiny favour?”

“Des,” Melissa said. “She’s getting the dinner anyway. She doesn’t have to do anything for it. She’s our daughter.”

“What favour would that be?” Valkyrie asked, tensing despite herself.

Her parents exchanged a glance.

“We were wondering if you’d be free to babysit on Thursday,” Melissa said. “It’s our anniversary, and we thought we’d spend the day getting pampered in the Lakeview Hotel.”

Valkyrie hesitated. “Babysit?”

“If you’re not too busy.”

She looked at Alice. “Babysit this squirt?”