She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “In part he is, but this decision isn’t solely due to what happened with him. It’s just one more disappointment. If anything, I’m grateful I found out what kind of man Tony is before we were married.”
The timer on her oven dinged. Setting aside her tea, Jamie reached for a pot holder and took out a bubbling chicken potpie. The recipe was one she’d come across in a women’s magazine and it had looked delicious. True, the meal was large enough to feed a family of four, but she intended to freeze half of it.
“Have you had dinner? Would you like to join me?” She extended the invitation casually as she set the steaming pie on top of the stove to cool.
“No,” Rich answered starkly. “I’m not hungry.”
“It seems to me you’ve lost weight. Have you?”
“I’m not here to discuss my weight,” he barked, “which hasn’t changed since high school, I might add.”
His attitude was slightly defensive, but Jamie decided to ignore it. He had lost weight; she’d noticed it soon after he’d broken off the relationship with Pamela. Jamie had never met the other woman and it was all she could do to think civilly of her. If anyone was ever a fool, it was Rich’s former girlfriend.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Rich said. His voice had lowered and he seemed less persistent now. Jamie suspected he’d spent the day seething over her decision not to date his friend.
“Which question didn’t I answer?” she asked, putting the pot holder back in the top drawer.
“What made you decide to give up dating?”
“Oh.” She pulled out a chair and sat down. Rich did, too. “Well, it wasn’t something I did lightly, trust me. It was a gradual decision made over the past few months. I honestly feel it’s the right one for me. I feel better than I have in years.” She tried to reassure him with a warm smile. He was frowning at her as though he wanted to argue. Rich had always been passionate when it came to people he cared about. “I’m nearly thirty-two years old,” she added.
“So?”
“So,” she said with a laugh, “there aren’t many eligible men left for me.”
“What about Bill Hastings? He’s eligible.”
“Divorced, right?”
“Right. But what’s that got to do with anything?”
He wasn’t going to like her answer, but Jamie wouldn’t be less than honest. “I’ve dated plenty of divorced men over the years. My experience may not be like anyone else’s, but I’ve discovered that if their wives left them, there’s generally a damn good reason. And if there isn’t, they’re so traumatized by the divorce they’ve become emotional cripples.”
“That’s ridiculous! And furthermore, it’s not fair.”
“I’m sure there are exceptions. I just haven’t found any.”
“In other words, you wouldn’t date Bill because he’s divorced.”
“Not … exactly. It’s more than that. I don’t want to date anyone right now, divorced or not.”
“What about single men? You’re only thirty-one, for heaven’s sake. There are lots of single men out there who’d give anything to meet a woman like you.”
Jamie had to swallow a sarcastic reply. If there were as many eligible single men as Rich seemed to think, she certainly hadn’t met them. “Obviously I haven’t had much luck with that group, either,” she said. “I hate to burst your bubble here, but single men aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. If a man’s in his thirties and not married, there’s usually a reason for it. Besides, single men over thirty are so set in their ways, they have problems adjusting to the natural give-and-take of a healthy relationship.”
“That’s downright insulting.”
“I don’t mean it to be.” She stood up to get two plates. “You’re having dinner with me, right?”
He nodded.
“I’m not going to lie to you and claim Tony had nothing to do with this,” she went on. “He hurt me, and it took me weeks to work through the pain. As strange as it may seem, I’m actually grateful for what Tony taught me. He helped me reach some sound, honest decisions about my life.”
“If this no-dating stand of yours is one of them, then I’d do some rethinking if I were you.” Rich opened the silverware drawer and took out two knives and forks. Without glancing at the adoption papers, he placed them to one side and had the table set by the time she brought over their plates. Jamie couldn’t help being pleased that he’d agreed to join her for dinner.
“My biggest, and probably most significant realization,” she said while smoothing the napkin across her lap, “was that I like my life the way it is. I don’t need a man to feel complete.”
Several minutes passed before Rich spoke. “That sounds healthy, but to lock the door on any chance of a relationship—”
“I’m not locking the door,” she interrupted, eager to correct that impression. “I’m just not looking for one. I’ve wasted years trying to fulfill my dream of being married and raising children.”
Rich took a bite of the chicken potpie and raised his eyebrows. “Hey, this is great.”
“Thank you.” She tried it herself and was satisfied with her culinary efforts. Taking the time to cook real meals instead of throwing together a sandwich or resorting to frozen entrées had been another decision she’d reached. It might seem silly, but cooking gave her a feeling of permanence and purpose. She was doing something healthy for herself, and she felt good about it.
“Everything you’ve said makes sense,” Rich admitted reluctantly.
“Don’t sound so shocked.”
“It’s just that I’ve always pictured you with kids….”
“I’ve got that covered,” she said enthusiastically, removing the top sheet of the papers Rich had stacked on the other side of the table. “I intend to adopt.”
“I know they let single people adopt children now,” he said, “but two-parent families are better for kids.”
“Ideally, yes,” Jamie agreed. “But sometimes there’s no alternative. Anyway, from what I’ve read, I don’t think it’s going to be easy or anytime soon, especially if I want a newborn.”
“Which you do?”
Jamie nodded. If she was only going to be a mother once, then she wanted as much of the experience as she could have, including midnight feedings, teething and changing diapers. “I have an appointment with a counselor at an adoption agency tomorrow afternoon. I haven’t been this excited about anything in years.”
“I’ll bet you haven’t told your mother.”
Jamie rolled her eyes at the thought. “It’s better if I don’t say anything, at least for now. Mom’s wonderful, but she’d never understand this.”
Rich chuckled, but as the laughter drained from his features, his eyes took on a faraway look. “You know what?”
“What?” she asked softly.
“I’ve basically come to the same conclusion about dating. I’m sick to death of the games and women whose only interest is getting me in the sack. I never knew women could be so aggressive.”
Intrigued, Jamie could only nod. She would never have believed Rich was experiencing the same difficulties she had. For years she’d been expecting him to marry, but she’d never felt comfortable enough to ask why he hadn’t.
“I’ve spent ten years looking for a woman who believes love lasts longer than an hour,” he added grimly. “As for commitment and honesty, I don’t think they exist anymore. Or if they do, then I can’t seem to find anyone who believes in them. After Pamela cheated on me I realized I’m a self-reliant adult—and if I never married, it wouldn’t make my life any less worthwhile.”
“That’s how I feel,” Jamie said. “I just never thought that—”
“I did, too,” he finished for her.