Still Irresistible

“New York is indescribable. Intense. Vital. Important. The people are fascinating. There’s so much to do—theater, museums, clubs, any kind of food you can imagine. It’s the heartbeat, the pulse of the country. There’s so much I love there.”

“And…?”

She felt a twinge, like a new toothache, and took a big swallow of champagne before she answered. “It can wear you out. It’s crowded. It’s expensive. It’s noisy and complicated.”

“No place is perfect.”

She smiled. “True. And I wouldn’t live anywhere else.” For now. That thought surprised her. “Part of it’s my job. Especially after a twelve-hour day, when I have to schmooze the catering manager into one more round of appetizers, conjure a smile for the client from hell who’s underpaying me, or cough up a joke before two business partners launch a fist fight with each other.”

“Sounds like an ordeal.”

“Does it? I guess it is. And, sometimes I feel…” She paused, not willing to say lonely. Too weak. In the city, you kept your cards close and your deodorant fresh. One drop of blood in the water and you were sashimi on an enamel plate.

Lately, since the breakup, she’d felt kind of alone. Even with Stefan, really, but she’d stayed too busy to notice.

“Overwhelmed,” she finished. She’d love to ask Deck if he ever felt lonely, but they were too tentative with each other. “Your mom’s doing okay?” she asked instead.

“She’s happy. Harvey’s a good guy and she likes Modesto.”

“Do you miss the Lazy J?”

“Sometimes. Pop would never have sold. I’m sure he’d have hated that I was leasing the place. I had to hand off when I finally went for my degree.”

“In what? Agribusiness?”

He laughed. “No. I got a BA in humanities. That and three-fifty will get you a venti at Starbucks. And, yes, I’ve been to Starbucks, Callie.”

“I didn’t say a word.” At least they were joking. “Your dad wouldn’t have wanted you to be strapped to the ranch forever. He’d want you to be happy.”

“It wasn’t a burden.” He shrugged.

“You sacrificed so much for your mom, staying with her so long. Meanwhile, I left my dad all alone.”

“You’re out here a lot. You call all the time.”

“Yeah, but I never know what’s really going on. I think Dad puts on a happy face for me.”

“That’s probably true. You used to do that for him, too. You were a one-girl show. Housekeeper, therapist, entertainer.”

“I just did what had to be done.”

“Maybe Cal should have looked out for you more.”

“Cheering him up cheered me, too.” Look happy and you’ll be happy. That was what she tried with everyone but Deck. With him, the mask fell away. It was falling away right now.

“It’s hard for me to be here,” she said. “It’s like I get ambushed. I miss my mother so bad I feel sick. It’s ridiculous. Eleven years have passed. What’s my problem?”

“You left so soon after she died. Maybe that’s why.”

“I think losing our parents so young changed the course of our lives. I escaped to New York and you got trapped at the Lazy J.”

“That’s pretty dramatic. You were going to New York anyway. And I told you I liked working the ranch.”

“Still…”

“Hey, hey. No regrets, remember? Live life with relish…” He paused for her to finish the old joke.

“And mustard?”

They laughed, looking into each other’s eyes, sharing the warm memory. She felt close to him again.

“I think hard times make us stronger, Callie.”

“I don’t know about that. I was a mess.” Every day had been a fight to stay at the surface, a desperate dogpaddle or she’d drop to the bottom like a stone. “If it hadn’t been for you…” Deck had held her up. Deck and his warm arms and good heart.

“We were both in the same foxhole.”

“Not exactly the same.” The deeper pain rose like the hot steam around her. “You didn’t cause your dad’s death.” She swallowed, struggling with emotion. She usually danced away from this idea.

“Your mother fell asleep driving. You weren’t in the car.”

“It was for my party. She drove all the way to Phoenix to get the stuff. If I’d settled for pizza at Dino’s, she’d be alive today.” She swallowed and blinked, embarrassed.

“Hey…” Deck moved to hug her, keeping the embrace high on their bodies. “I hate to see you in pain.”

“I know.” He had always been there for her. His skin against hers felt so right. She rested her cheek on his chest. It felt so good, as calming as back then.

Just like that, the moment changed. The comfort hug turned into something else, something more intense. Callie became aware of a hitch in Deck’s breathing and her own. His arms around her were strong and sure, his fingers dug in.

She should push back. He should back off. Neither of them moved. She became aware of a tight ache between her legs.

They were inches apart. All either of them had to do was shift slightly forward and they’d be body to body, thigh to thigh, her breasts against his chest, her belly against his erection. It would feel so good. Like before, but new, too.

She ached to move closer.

“I remember how we were,” Deck said, his voice rough.

They had to stop. This was dangerous.

“Me, too.” She began to tremble. She wanted him so badly. She wanted to see how they would be together—without the grief and the frantic desperation. She’d been a girl, inexperienced in sex. Now she was a woman and knew exactly what to do and what she wanted. “I’d never felt like that before.”

Or since, for that matter. Deck hadn’t been her first, but sex with Taylor had been awkward and fast and all about him. Deck and she had moved together like two halves of a whole.

“We were young,” Deck said, shifting infinitesimally closer. His chest grazed her breasts.

The ache between her legs felt like an injury. She wanted to lunge at him.

“Sex was new.” Deck’s eyes burned at her.