The Second Life of Sally Mottram

‘What?’

‘Going to bed early. Leaving us alone together.’

‘Ah. Oh, I see. No, no. Beth always goes to bed early.’

‘Right. Well, anyway, Sam … um … we may as well kill this bottle.’

‘Oh. Right. Yes.’

Sam poured and they clinked glasses.

‘Good to have you here, Mum.’

‘Thanks. Good to be here. Sam?’

‘Yes?’ said Sam warily.

‘Um … I hope I’m not going to put my foot in it …’

‘You couldn’t, Mum.’

‘No, but seriously, I must ask you … I know you, you can’t hide things from me. Something’s worrying you, and that worries me. Is there anything … is there something … on your mind?’

‘Well … I mean … Mum, I’m twenty-three, you’ve had a terrible experience, I don’t want to burden you with my worries.’

‘I want you to burden me, Sam. It’s what I’m for.’

‘OK. OK. They say every problem is about sex or money.’

He paused.

‘Go on.’

‘You don’t need to be Einstein to know that my problem’s money. I’m sorry you’ve noticed, I’ve really tried not to show it, but … I’m scared shitless, Mum.’

‘Right, so … why are you … scared shitless?’

‘I’m a fairly junior accountant, Beth’s a dentist’s receptionist and she isn’t the pushy type, so neither of us is very well paid, our degrees haven’t been much of a passport to anything, and at this moment of time we owe between us a small matter of sixty-eight thousand pounds.’

‘Oh my God. That’s awful. You poor boy. Poor Beth.’ She turned angry. ‘It’s a scandal that young people have this enormous pressure. Doesn’t this nation value education?’

‘Not enough, obviously. Beth knows two girls with violent anorexia because of their worries, and a bloke I knew at Keele topped … Oh God, I’m sorry, Mum. Mum, I’m so sorry.’

‘Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten, and I’m sorry too. Poor bloke.’

‘No, but that phrase, it’s …’

‘It’s what people say. Words don’t hurt compared to … what’s happened.’

‘No. Sorry.’

‘What did Beth take her degree in?’

Sam blushed slightly. He looked better when he had a bit of colour.

‘Conservation.’

‘I see.’

‘Mum, this is going to sound awful, but … now that we’ve started … I don’t know how to put it … I’m embarrassed.’

‘Don’t be.’

‘Well … I mean, don’t think Beth and I have ever been wildly extravagant.’

Sally couldn’t avoid taking a little look around the room. The walls were bare except for two posters.

‘I’ve never thought that.’

‘Good. But … I hope in a way this is a compliment, but … we’ve regarded you as a kind of a safety net.’

‘Always be here to help, you mean?’

‘Well, yes. In a way. I mean, you seemed to have plenty of money. Dad a lawyer.’

‘Sadly, not all lawyers are rich.’

‘Not rich, but Dad’s always been scrupulously fair about things, and you’ve always been very generous, you’ve been absolutely marvellous, and …’

‘Could you repeat that?’

‘What?’

‘That I’ve been absolutely marvellous.’

‘Well, of course you have. Didn’t you know that?’

‘Not really, no. So I’d like … it would just be nice to hear it again.’

‘Right. Right. Mum, you’ve always … Sorry. I can’t do it. Not … on request. I mean, of course I mean it, but it just slipped out, I can’t just … sorry.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’

But it did.

‘Beth is scared shitless too.’

‘Well, at least I’ll be able to use the lavatory whenever I want to.’