Our Little Secret: a gripping psychological thriller with a shocking twist from bestselling author Darren O’Sullivan

‘Because I can.’

***

Taking a deep breath, Sarah felt something she didn’t understand, something in her stomach, a kind of ache.

‘I didn’t think there was anyone nice left in the world.’

‘There probably isn’t.’

‘And yet a complete stranger offers to buy me a drink so I can stay warm. I mean, who does that?’

‘Don’t read into it; it’s not a big deal. I’ve only offered because, as I’ve said, I want to be alone.’

‘Clearly.’ She took a breath. She needed to keep him talking. Despite him wanting to be alone, she knew she couldn’t leave him. ‘Did she leave you?’

‘What?’

‘The girl in the picture?’

‘Just take the money, please.’

Sarah chose to ignore him. She had never met a man who clearly treasured love. Despite him not wanting to talk about it, she knew she needed to. He offered hope for her future.

‘Is there any chance she will come back?’

***

Chris thought about the moment Julia stopped fighting whilst he could do nothing but look on. Her chest rising with her last breath. An expression of fear left on her face after she was dead.

‘No.’

‘You clearly love her.’

‘Yes.’

He didn’t know why but the stranger’s persistence had somehow found a way through his walls. Just a small crack that she managed to squeeze in through.

‘I wish I had someone love me like that.’

Chris looked at her. He could see in that moment she was hurting in a way similar to him. But on a smaller scale. He knew he would never love anyone like he did Julia. And in return he wouldn’t be loved back. But this girl, the train girl, she still had a future.

‘You will.’

She broke eye contact, a small smile on her lips. He felt as though in a different time they might have had a good conversation. But the clock was ticking. He needed her gone. He closed the gap she had broken through. His wall solid once more.

‘She was a lucky lady.’

‘Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but I need to be alone. Will you please go for that coffee. I insist.’

He glanced from her to the clock and back again, her expression startled by his sudden forcefulness.

45 seconds.

‘Sorry,’ he repeated a little softer. ‘I want to be on my own and I don’t really want to talk to anyone. It’s sweet of you to care; it really is. But I need you to leave, okay?’

‘Okay,’ she replied. ‘Sorry.’

‘Go for that drink.’ Holding out the five-pound note, Chris looked up.

35 seconds.

‘Please.’

***

Sarah stood up and walked towards him, standing a little too close as she took the money. Her hand unintentionally stroking against his, for the second time, as she did. She felt it again. There was something, although she didn’t know what it was, that drew her to him, to this stranger. As she looked at him she could see fear in his eyes and she wanted to know what he was frightened of. What she did know though, was that if she left, something terrible would happen. But not knowing what else to do she started to back away.

***

Breathing a sigh of relief, he looked up once more.

25 seconds.

Turning and stepping closer to the platform edge he once again curled his toes over the lip. Not noticing she had stopped. His thoughts were back with Julia.

***

With the money in my hand and my back still turned, I thought of all the times in my life I didn’t act. I didn’t act when my parents split up. I didn’t act the first time John cheated on me. I didn’t act when my bank account read so little so often. I still don’t know why but I knew that in that moment I would do something. Turning I looked towards the man in the wet shirt and bare feet. The man who reminded me of the old films. His gaze focused on the rail line floor three feet below.

‘Look, I don’t know you and you don’t know me,’ I said with all of the courage I could summon, shocked that the words were coming out of my mouth. ‘But I think we both could do with something new; I know I could. I think we could both do with some help. So why don’t you come join me? Why don’t you and I get a coffee … together?’

***

Chris wanted to scream at her. He wanted to shake this stupid girl who had misread his intentions. He was not being polite. He was not being kind. He was not showing empathy or chivalry. He just wanted some fucking peace before ending it all, but she wasn’t giving up.

‘I’ve never met a man who would offer to buy me a drink like that without expecting or trying anything on. Never. That makes you someone good in a world full of arseholes and I can see you are struggling with something and so am I. I’m asking you to join me because we both need someone nice. We both need a good person to talk to, even just for a short while.’ Her breathing was shallow, panicked, rising in pitch as she struggled to get enough air in her lungs to speak her words without spilling her fear. A fear of what she hadn’t yet learnt.

‘You don’t know me,’ he replied, looking once again to the clock. ‘And I’m not a good person. Can’t you please just understand that and go for that coffee?’

‘No!’

‘What do you mean no?’

10 seconds.

Ten months flashed through his mind. He thought about the pain, the suffering. The routines he developed to cope against his great adversary that was now time. He thought of Steve’s attempted interventions as he spiralled into a downward depression. How his best friend wouldn’t give up on him despite Chris backing away completely.

He thought about his father, how much stronger he was. He thought about how sad his friends would be at his funeral, wearing black with tears in their eyes unable to contain their grief. Although none of them were shocked.