Blue Notebook / Голубая тетрадь. Книга для чтения на английском языке

Suddenly the dad got red in the face and started to yell:

– What! What! – the dad was yelling. – You think that I am anal! You look at me like at a devil! I do not ask for your love! You are the devils!

The mom and the maid Natasha ran out of the room and locked themselves in the kitchen.

– Go away you drunk! Go, you son of a devil! – whispered the mom and the totally confused maid Natasha, behind the door.

And the dad stayed in the dining room until the morning when he took his bag, put on a white hat and quietly went to work.

A sonnet

An amazing thing happened to me today, I suddenly forgot what comes first – 7 or 8.

I went to my neigbors and asked them abou their opinion on this matter.

Great was their and my amazement, when they suddenly discovered, that they couldn't recall the counting order. They remembered 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, but forgot what comes next.

We all went to a commercial grocery store, the one that's on the corner of Znamenskaya and Basseinaya streets to consult a cashier on our predicament. The cashier gave us a sad smile, took a small hammer out of her mouth, and moving her nose slightly back and forth, she said:

– In my opinion, a seven comes after an eight, only if an eight comes after a seven.

We thanked the cashier and ran cheerfully out of the store. But there, thinking carefully about cashier's words, we got sad again because her words were void of any meaning.

What were we supposed to do? We went to the Summer Garden and started counting trees. But reaching a six in count, we stopped and started arguing: In the opinion of some, a 7 went next; but in opinion of others an 8 did.

We were arguing for a long time, when by some sheer luck, a child fell off a bench and broke both of his jaws. That distracted us from our argument.

And then we all went home.

On Equilibrium

Everyone now knows how dangerous swallowing stones is. A friend of mine even coined the expression «Dan – in – ston», which means: «It's dangerous to ingest stones». And a good thing too. «Dan – in – ston» can be easily remembered and, as required, instantly recalled.

He worked, this friend of mine, as a stoker on a steam engine. He travelled either the northern line or to Moscow. He was called Nikolay Ivanovich Serpukhov and he smoked Rocket cigarettes at thirty – five kopecks a packet, and always said that they made him cough less, while those costing five roubles, he says, «always make me choke».

And so Nikolay Ivanovich once chanced to get in to the restaurant in the Yevropeyskaya Hotel. Nikolay Ivanovich sat at a table and at the next table some foreigners were sitting munching apples.

At this point Nikolay Ivanovich said to himself: – This is interesting – said Nikolay Ivanovich – A man's life this!

Barely had he said this to himself when from out of the blue a Fairy appeared in front of him, saying: – My good man, what do you need?

Well, of course, in a restaurant you do get a commotion from which, it may be said, this unknown diminutive lady may have sprung. The foreigners even ceased munching their apples.

Nikolay Ivanovich himself rather had the wind up and spoke rather offhandedly, so as to give her the brush – off. – I'm sorry – he said – but I don't really require anything in particular.

– You don't understand – said the unknown lady – I – she said – am what is called a Fairy. In the merest jiffy I'll lay on whatever you fancy.

Nikolay Ivanovich happened to notice that a citizen in a grey two – piece was listening intently to their conversation. The maitre d'hotel was rushing through the open doors and behind him some other specimen with a cigarette in his mouth.

– Bloody hell! – thought Nikolay Ivanovich – there's no telling what's going on.

And there was indeed no telling what was going on. The maitre d'hotel was leaping around the tables, the foreigners were rolling up the carpets and generally the devil only knew what! They were all doing whatever they felt like!

Nikolay Ivanovich ran out to the street and didn't even pick up his hat from the custody of the cloakroom; he ran out on to Lassalle Street and said to himself: – Dan – in – ston! It's dangerous to ingest stones – Nothing like this ever really happens, surely!

And arriving home, Nikolay Ivanovich told his wife: – Don't be alarmed, Yekaterina Petrovna, and don't get worried. Only there's no equilibrium in the world. It's just an error of some kilogram and a half over the universe as a whole, but it's really a surprising thing, Yekaterina Petrovna, totally surprising!

And that's all.

Andrey Semyonovich

Andrey Semyonovich spat into a cup of water. The water immediately turned black. Andrey Semyonovich screwed up his eyes and looked attentively into the cup. The water was very black. Andrey Semyonovich's heart began to throb.

At that moment Andrey Semyonovich's dog woke up. Andrey Semyonovich went over to the window and began ruminating.

Suddenly something big and dark shot past Andrey Semyonovich's face and flew out of the window. This was Andrey Semyonovich's dog flying out and it zoomed like a crow on to the roof of the building opposite. Andrey Semyonovich sat down on his haunches and began to howl.

Into the room ran Comrade Popugayev.

– What's up with you? Are you ill? – asked Comrade Popugayev.

Andrey Semyonovich quieted down and rubbed his eyes with his hands.

Comrade Popugayev took a look into the cup which was standing on the table. – What's this you've poured into here? – he asked Andrey Semyonovich.

– I don't know – said Andrey Semyonovich.

Popugayev instantly disappeared. The dog flew in through the window again, lay down in its former place and went to sleep.

Andrey Semyonovich went over to the table and took a drink from the cup of blackened water. And Andrey Semyonovich's soul turned lucid.

Rebellion

– Drink vinegar, gentlemen – said Shuyev.

No one gave him any reply.

– Gentlemen! – shouted Shuyev – I propose to you the drinking of vinegar!

Makaronov got up from his armchair and said:

– I welcome Shuyev's idea. Let's drink vinegar.

Rastopyakin said:

– I shall not be drinking vinegar.

At this point a silence set in and everyone began to look at Shuyev. Shuyev sat stony – faced. It was not clear what he was thinking.