Her Sister's Child

Wayne crawled between the sheets. “I’m going to ignore that. There were women at the bar.”

“I want you to tell me where you’ve really been all this time.”

He rolled onto his side. “Turn out the light.”

She sat a little straighter, the effects of the wine making her dizzy and nauseous. But she couldn’t give in now. All evening she’d planned this confrontation. No, she’d planned it for weeks and tonight it was going to happen. She jostled his shoulder. “Wayne, we need to talk.”

He tensed, but didn’t turn toward her. “Fine. You talk. But I’m going to sleep.”

A single tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it away. “I’m miserably unhappy.”

He yawned. “What else is new?”

“No, I mean this is serious. I…”

“Go to sleep, Tina. We’ll talk in the morning.”

She trapped a sob in her throat. “This can’t wait until morning.”

“It’s gonna have to.” He punched his pillow hard. Tina flinched. “Now either go to sleep or leave me alone so I can.”

She waited at least a minute, hoping he would move, say something else, look at her. He didn’t. The clock read 2:22 a.m. when Wayne began snoring.

Tina got up, smoothed her nightgown down her body with damp palms and went into the bathroom. Grabbing the sink for support, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. When had she grown so old? So sad? So worn-out from the task of living each day?

She stumbled in bare feet to the living room and took an envelope from the old oak desk scarred with cigarette burns. She’d sealed the envelope a couple of hours ago. Somewhere in the back of her mind was the faint hope that she wouldn’t need the note, that something would happen to change her mind. Foolish hope. That’s all it was. She picked up a pen and wrote “To Wayne,” and leaned the envelope against a picture of her and her daughter on the fireplace mantel.

She walked into the tiny second bedroom of her run-down cottage and stood by Katie’s bed. The child slept peacefully, unaware of the tears flowing down her mama’s face. Lately, Tina knew, Katie’s dreams had been the only place the little girl found true contentment. Kids sensed when something wasn’t right, when their worlds were about to crumble, when a parent could no longer be counted on to fix the problems in their lives. Tina had disappointed Katie too many times.

She leaned over the bed, brushed a few tangles of golden blond hair off Katie’s brow and kissed her cheek. “I’m so sorry, baby,” she said. “But everything is going to be better now. I promise.”

Tina took one last long look at her daughter’s face before she left the room. Wayne would do the right thing. At least she could depend on him to do what he needed to for Katie.

She walked through the house, feeling weightless, free, sure of her course for the first time in years. She went out the rear door and headed toward the lake. At the edge of the water, she stopped and looked back at her house. The roof over the small porch sagged from neglect. The shed still lay in ruins from the last tornado, its sad contents rusting on red clay where only weeds survived. Nothing in Tina’s life was ever fixed. It all simply rotted away, little by little, day by day. But she could stop the decay from destroying her daughter. At least she could do that.

She looked up at the Tennessee sky sprinkled with a thousand stars and stepped into the water, still warm from September’s Indian summer. She walked straight ahead, enjoying the feel of her gown rippling around her ankles, her calves, her thighs. The worn flannel was as soft as a petal, clinging, protective. When the water reached her breasts, she spread her arms, inviting the earth’s most basic element to claim her, opening herself to the calm that awaited.

Water lapped at her chin, her nose. She opened her mouth and let the lake flow in until the stars disappeared.

CHAPTER ONE

JULIA TURNED OFF her shower and heard the phone ringing. She grabbed a towel. “Oh, great.” With just thirty minutes to dress, hail a cab and travel ten blocks to an off-Broadway theater for a Friday opening matinee, she didn’t have time for conversation. Nevertheless, she raced to her nightstand and picked up the portable.

Caller ID displayed her mother’s name. Julia considered not answering, but she couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t necessarily be bad news. Her mom didn’t have a problem every time she called. Although since Julia’s dad died a year ago, it seemed as if she did.

She draped the towel around her body, sat on the bedspread and punched the Connect button. “Hi, Mama. What’s up? I’m kind of in a hurry…”

There was a moment’s pause, then a trembling sob from Cora.

“Mama, what’s wrong?”

“W…Wayne’s here,” she said.

The stutter alerted Julia that her mother was either nervous or upset. This could be a long call. Tucking the phone into the crook of her neck, she walked to her dresser and took out some underwear. “What’s he doing there?”

“He—he brought K-Katie.”

Oh. Well, that was okay. Julia slipped on her panties and reached for a bra. “That’s wonderful,” she said. “You must be excited to have Katie for a visit.”

“It’s not a visit,” Cora said, her words coming slowly.

Alarm raised goose bumps on Julia’s arms. “Mama, where’s Tina? Is she there?”

“No.” A quaking sob stopped Cora’s speech.

Julia gripped the phone more tightly and spoke deliberately. “Tell me, Mama. Where’s Tina?”

There was no answer, only a rustling sound. The next voice Julia heard was Wayne’s. “Hey, Julia, it’s me.” Julia had never gotten along with her sister’s live-in boyfriend, a man she considered a Neanderthal.

“What’s going on, Wayne?”

“I don’t know how else to tell you, but Tina’s dead. She killed herself.”

“What?” The towel fell to the floor. Julia sat heavily on the mattress, feeling as though a vicious clamp were squeezing her chest.

“It was pretty awful,” Wayne said. “When she wasn’t in the house yesterday morning, I went outside and saw her body floating in the lake. She still had her nightgown on.”

Pretty awful. How could he summarize this horrendous news with such an idiotic description? Her sister was dead. She meant something to people, maybe not to Wayne but to Julia. And Cora. And certainly Katie. Katie. Julia tried to draw a deep breath but only managed to push out two words. “She drowned?”

“Yeah. She left a note like suicide victims do. The police found footprints leading to the lake. She must have just walked into the water.” He paused a moment before adding, “I don’t know, Julia. Tina hadn’t been feeling too good lately.”

Julia blinked hard, releasing hot tears onto her cheeks. “Wayne?”

“Yeah?”

“Is Katie there—can she hear you?”

“Well, hell, Julia, she knows. There wasn’t any way to keep it from her. The cops were everywhere. And the ambulance…”

“Where’s Katie now?”

“We’re at your mom’s store. She’s sitting at the snack bar coloring. She’s okay.”

You idiot. “Put Mama on.”

Julia had to strain to understand her mother through the incessant buzzing in her own mind. Nothing made sense. Tina was often emotional, but this…it was unthinkable. “Y-you’ve got to come h-home,” Cora said.

“Of course, Mama.”