Wish You Were Here – Part 4

‘Lots of things. Lies, possibly. I don’t know.’

‘So ask me.’

Will exhaled and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. ‘He said that you had suffered a major trauma before you came back to Campion Bay. That it had affected you deeply, that you were … struggling.’

Robin swallowed. It was a few seconds before she could speak. ‘Struggling? Was that the word he used?’

‘No. But are you – did something terrible happen, in London?’ He turned to face her, his green eyes piercing through the wall that had immediately come up. It wasn’t Will’s fault, but how dare Tim use what had happened to Neve against her?

‘What did he actually say?’

Will winced. ‘He said you didn’t know what you wanted, that you were behaving irrationally. I haven’t thought that for one minute – you’ve never seemed irrational to me. But he said that you were blowing hot and cold. He gave the impression that you’d rekindled your relationship, given in to old passions, but that you were still unsure. He thought it was only a matter of time before you were back together. I’m sorry, I know this is personal, but he admitted it to me, and—’

‘None of that’s true,’ Robin said. She surprised herself at how calm she sounded. Her stomach churned with a mix of anger and sadness at Tim’s fabrications. She didn’t know if this was more of his manipulation, or if he still believed, despite what she’d told him last night, that there was a chance for them. But exaggerating the fallout of her grief at Neve’s death was a low blow.

He hadn’t even been there those first, desperate months after she returned to Campion Bay; he hadn’t seen her at her lowest. When she spoke again, her voice was steady.

‘He tried to kiss me that night, after you had been to the pub with him, but I stopped it. I’m not irrational. My feelings for Tim, when I saw him again after all the years apart –’ she shook her head – ‘I admit that it was confusing to begin with, but nothing happened between us. He’s making it out to be a great deal more than it was.’

Will nodded, his gaze holding hers. It was open, accepting, and she had to resist the urge to wrap him in a grateful hug. ‘But something happened to you in London?’ he asked, almost a whisper. ‘That bit was true?’

Her heart was clattering now. The peaceful tableau in front of them seemed like a dream: the golden sand, the glittering water, Darcy playing in the waves. That night was creeping back in, swapping places with reality. She had to tell him. She had been planning to anyway, but Tim had given her no choice and, now that the moment was here, it felt like an impossible task.

‘My friend, Neve,’ she started.

‘The one who’s into astrology, the flower moon?’

‘You remembered.’

‘Of course I did,’ Will said.

The tenderness in his voice brought her tears closer to the surface. ‘She was my best friend. We met at university and then started up our company together: Once in a Blue Moon Days.’

‘The events business?’

Robin nodded. ‘Special occasions, bespoke experiences. We were good at it, we worked well as a team and lived together in a tiny flat. It was hard work, but so rewarding when we helped people realise their dreams, gave them the best anniversary or birthday they’d ever had. Neve was the driving force; she was bursting with energy, alive with the possibility of it all. A problem was a challenge, a lesson to be learnt from.’ A heavy, familiar weight settled inside her as she felt again the impact of her friend’s loss.

When she paused, Will filled the space, as if he realised it wasn’t easy for her to say. He encouraged her, teasing the story from her like thread unravelling from a piece of fabric.

‘You’re one of the brightest – most sparkling – people I know,’ he said. ‘I can’t imagine that you were lethargic by comparison.’

‘You never met Neve, though,’ she whispered. ‘She would bounce out of bed as if there was a trampoline under the mattress. She had these huge, dark eyes that were always glinting with new ideas. She never ran out of steam or enthusiasm. But then she … something terrible happened.’ Robin swallowed. She glanced at Will, and then away. ‘She died.’

She heard his intake of breath. ‘God. I’m so sorry, Robin.’ He put his hand on her upper arm. The touch of his fingers on her skin was warm, thrilling and comforting all at once. She focused on the feel of it, the bliss of being close to him, to help her get through reliving that night. ‘What happened?’ he asked after a moment.

Robin shuddered involuntarily, and despite Will slipping his arm around her shoulders, increasing the pressure of his touch, she knew this would be one of the hardest things she’d ever done. Her London friends had been there that night, witnessing the horror first-hand, and telling her mum and dad, right after it had happened, was something she could barely remember. They’d done the rest for her; speaking to Molly and anyone else who needed to know, while she tried to pack her emotions away and get on with running the business.

She hadn’t let it sink in until she’d returned to Campion Bay, Once in a Blue Moon Days in tatters, impossible without her best friend. When she’d told Tim back in January, she hadn’t given him the details, had stayed as distant from it as possible. But now she had to revisit that night, to tell Will, without falling apart.

‘It was Neve’s birthday. We’d arranged a meal out with some of our friends at a Thai restaurant. We were working to a deadline for one of our commissions, so I told her to go and meet everyone for drinks, and that I’d follow on later, in time for the meal. I’d got these helium balloons, star-shaped, one that said Happy Birthday in gold and red.’ She swallowed. ‘I finished what I needed to do, and then stayed in the office to pump them up. I was an hour behind her by the time I left. I’d bought her a necklace for her birthday, an archer for Sagittarius, and a spa-day voucher.

‘I took the tube; it was only three stops, but it was quicker than walking. People in the carriage had laughed at the balloons, and I couldn’t wait to see her, to give them to her. I heard the sirens as I got close to the restaurant, but thought nothing of it. Then I turned the corner, and I couldn’t see anything except a whirr of blue flashing lights, the screech as more vehicles arrived. People were crying and screaming and I didn’t know what was going on.’ She closed her eyes, remembering it all so vividly, the dead ache that had settled across her, as if trying to ward off the shock that was to come. ‘But then one of our friends, Kyle, saw me, and came over to me. I don’t remember what he said; I don’t remember anything much after that, about that night, except arriving back at our flat and being unable to process that she wouldn’t be coming through the door, that if I waited for her, I’d be waiting for ever.’

Robin dropped her head, pushing at her cheeks, angry with herself for crying.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Will said again. He pulled her gently towards him and Robin didn’t resist, letting the warmth of his body rush through her. She inhaled, licked her lips before telling the final part. She was nearly there.

‘They said that she’d been looking at her phone, that she’d stepped off the pavement, distracted, and that the woman behind the wheel didn’t have time to slow down. Neve was always so excitable and energetic, always doing so many things at once. This time, though …’ She shook her head, leaned in to Will and stared at the sea, trying to close off the memories again. ‘I told you that Neve helped me with the guesthouse, because she inspired so much of it. Starcross – the astrology – and Andalusia is based on what she had told me about her home country, though I never had the chance to go with her.’

‘It’s not just a boutique hotel, then,’ Will murmured. ‘It always seemed like it had more heart than that; the attention to detail, the warmth and kindness you put into running it. It’s an extension of Neve, of what you did together. I can see that.’

Robin swallowed down a resurgence of tears. ‘You can?’

‘Now I know the story,’ Will said quietly. ‘I shouldn’t have asked you to go through it again. But after what Tim told me this morning …’ His hand drifted up, gently stroking her hair, tugging at the strands, twisting them round his fingers. He didn’t realise he was doing it, she thought, or understand the effect it was having on her. Fireworks were going off inside her, her breaths shortening. She wanted to stop talking about Tim, about her heartbreak at losing Neve. She didn’t want to do anything now but kiss him.

‘I’m not irrational, whatever he thinks,’ Robin said firmly, finding a reserve of strength, pulling herself back from the distraction. ‘I’ve been grieving, that much is true. It’s been a year and a half. I tried to carry on with Once in a Blue Moon Days afterwards, but I couldn’t do it by myself.’

‘It doesn’t sound like a one-person operation, even before you take Neve’s death into account.’

‘Part of me felt that I was running away, coming back here with my tail between my legs. But the guesthouse has been a fresh start. A chance to prove to myself that I can do this, still have ideas, still live. Neve will always be a part of who I am, but I had to do it for me, too.’ She took a deep breath. ‘But I’d forgotten so much about Campion Bay; it is very different from when I’d left it as a teenager. I hadn’t realised how strong the community is now. I’m sorry, Will – for not telling you about Tim’s plans, for getting so confused about things.’

She looked up at him, and he dropped his hand, giving her hair a final, brief tug. He wasn’t smiling, but his gaze found hers and didn’t let go. ‘You’ve explained it all,’ he said softly. ‘I was shocked – hurt at first – but I know it was a misunderstanding.’

Robin nodded slowly, relief mingling with confusion. ‘Then why …?’

‘Why have I kept a distance between us?’ Will sighed. ‘Because I wasn’t sure of your feelings. I thought I was, that Sunday, on the golf course. But then after reading Molly’s text, all I could think about was that you hadn’t told me about Tim, about what he wanted to do with Tabitha’s house. Then there were the flowers, his frequent visits to your guesthouse; it was obvious how he felt about you. And I didn’t know if you still cared about him. I felt like I was stepping into a complicated situation, and with everything that’s going on – moving down here, sorting through my aunt’s things, finding out the truth about her and my dad – it seemed safer, easier to stay away.’ His lips flickered in a half-smile. ‘Though it hasn’t turned out to be easier.’

‘It hasn’t?’ she asked.

He shook his head, his smile growing, his fingers reaching up to brush her cheek, and then Darcy yelped, bounding out of the waves towards them, soaked and happy. She ran straight to Robin, putting damp paws on her knees and shaking herself, so that Robin squealed and Will shot off the rock, away from them.

‘Darcy,’ Robin laughed, trying to shield herself from the impromptu shower, even though it was too late. ‘Is that because you were mad with me too?’

‘It’s because she’s missed you,’ Will said. ‘And for that, I’m very glad. If she hadn’t been eager to see you, I might have got the full force of her greeting.’ He sat back down warily, keeping his eyes on Darcy, who seemed content to settle at their feet and dry in the sunshine.

‘I’ve missed you too,’ Robin murmured. She glanced at Will, at his golden-flecked hair, his long neck, his tanned arms. ‘I’m sorry for not telling you about Tim,’ she said. ‘But I only did that so you wouldn’t jump at the possibility of a quick sale when going through Tabitha’s things seemed like such a challenge. I wanted to get to know you before you disappeared again. It was selfish. I don’t want Tim developing Tabitha’s house into flats – I don’t think he’d even be allowed to, if that Jane Austen plaque was real – but not telling you to begin with was so I’d have more time with you before that became a possibility. Though, when you arrived, I wondered whether Tim or his boss, Malcolm, had prompted your visit to Campion Bay in the first place.’

‘No, I came because I’d broken up with Annie and needed to get away from Kent for a while. And the thought of Aunt Tabitha’s house, sitting here untouched and empty, had been niggling away at me. It was sheer coincidence that I turned up when Tim started to get interested.’

‘That makes sense,’ Robin murmured. ‘But you need to know that Tim and I – we’re so far in the past, now. And even if there were flickers of attraction between us when I saw him again, they’ve been obliterated by – by you. From the moment you stepped into Starcross, I didn’t want you to go. We’ve only known each other a short time, but already, you’ve changed my life, Will.’ There. She’d said it. She chewed her lip, forcing herself to stay quiet while he absorbed the words.

He didn’t reply immediately, and she could see the tension in his broad shoulders. He was frowning, his eyes scanning her face. She wanted to reach up and touch his lips with her finger; wished he’d put his hand back in her hair.

‘Robin …’ he started.

‘You don’t have to say anything,’ she rushed, suddenly afraid of what was coming, of him rejecting her, finally and completely.

He winced, pressing his lips together before he spoke. ‘Tim’s made an offer on the house.’