Birds of a Feather

‘He’s pissed off,’ Jack said. ‘Understandably.’

‘With Eddie?’

‘And with me. He thinks I should have seen it coming, that I should have protected you, and he’s right. I should have—’

‘What? Stopped me from leaving the house? Come on Jack, how could you have predicted this would be his next move? And isn’t Leo just firing off because he’s panicking? He seemed happy enough last night, unless he was giving you warnings when I wasn’t listening.’

Jack shook his head. ‘He wasn’t. But he thinks I need to face it this time, to stand up to Eddie, and I’ve told him I’m ready to tell my side of the story. I’m just sorry this has led to you being involved. If I hadn’t asked you to come with me last night …’

‘Stop it, Jack.’ She sat next to him and put the steaming mugs on the table. ‘What is the point of if only? We are where we are, and you need to listen to Leo, do everything he says. Promote your book, show everyone the real you, and prove that Eddie’s story is a complete fabrication.’

‘You sound so certain.’

‘And you sound like you’re already defeated. Come on Jack, where’s your fighting spirit?’

He gave her a lopsided smile. ‘My fighting spirit is here. With you.’

‘There you go then,’ Abby said. ‘Let’s see some of it.’

But Jack’s smile faded, taking Abby’s confidence with it. She suddenly felt weighted down by something, a realization that didn’t hit home until Jack confirmed it.

‘Leo says I need to go back to London. That I need to be proactive, speak to Bob Stevens about the Page Turner Foundation, get the interviews started. He says I can’t do that from here, that I have to throw myself back into the spotlight, bulldoze Eddie’s claims with my presence and overwhelm the negative stories with positive ones.’

Abby’s mouth was so dry that she could barely speak. ‘In London,’ she managed.

‘In London.’

‘When?’ It was a whisper.

‘He’s coming up first thing tomorrow, to help me pack.’

‘Tomorrow.’

The room was full of echoes. She couldn’t do anything else but repeat his words and try and make sense of the fact that, after tomorrow, Jack wouldn’t be here anymore.

‘Abby, I don’t want to leave you, but I don’t have a choice.’

She felt the well of emotion, her thoughts whirring, wondering if this return to London was planned all along. If Tessa was right, and he had been using her from the beginning. But then she forced herself to look at him – and couldn’t believe it.

‘I could come,’ she said.

Hope flashed briefly across his face, then disappeared. ‘No, you couldn’t. Your life is here, in Meadowgreen. With Penelope and Rosa, Octavia, Raffle, Meadowsweet. I could never ask that of you.’

‘You don’t want me to come?’

‘You have no idea how much I want you to come, how painful it is that I know you can’t.’

‘I could. I—’ Her words were swallowed up as Jack pulled her against his chest. She pressed her face into the warm fabric of his T-shirt.

‘I should never have let you get dragged into this,’ he said. ‘I should have left you alone after that first day, when you came to berate me for complaining. You were right, too, but I couldn’t help it. Already, I knew I needed to see you again. I invented that rubbish about pheasants damaging my car, I sat at my desk thinking up ways I could get you to come here, or I could come and see you. Even after we’d been for coffee, part of me knew this was just a fantasy, that Peacock Cottage, Meadowgreen – you’re too good for me.’

‘Don’t say that.’

‘And now I’ve proved that I can’t hold on to it.’

‘Jack, this is not your fault.’ She sat up. ‘How could it be?’

‘I should have stayed away from you. I should have been stronger, and then this – Eddie, going back to London – none of it would have mattered.’

‘Of course it would have. How can you say that?’

‘Because without you, I …’ He faltered, shrugging.

After tomorrow he would be back in London, and Peacock Cottage would be empty again. She would be left with nothing but memories and a dull ache in her chest that was already unfurling, blossoming like the roses in the garden.

A single tear leaked out, and she broke eye contact with him. Jack cupped her face and brought his lips to hers, and Abby let him kiss away her sadness. And, as their kisses deepened, ignoring the fact that the curtains were open, or that Raffle was sleeping loyally at their feet, all Abby could think about was standing next to him in front of Swallowtail House as the sun dipped and the windows flamed, and how much everything had changed.

Abby stayed with Jack, returning to his bedroom, glancing at her phone screen but not replying to the persistent messages from Rosa and Octavia, one from Tessa inviting her over tomorrow. Jack, too, focused solely on her, even when Leo’s name flashed up on his iPhone.

‘I’ll listen to his message later,’ he murmured, pulling the duvet over them both.

She tried not to think about the photos, and that if Eddie was as intent on hurting Jack as he seemed to be, then the pictures would most likely be online already. She tried not to think about anything but being with Jack.

When the sun began to set, he slipped from the bed, fed Raffle some cold beef, made cheese on toast and cups of tea, and brought them back upstairs.

Abby settled into the crook of his arm as they ate, watching the sky darken.

‘London’s not that far from Suffolk,’ she said into the quiet. ‘I could visit you.’

Jack kissed the top of her head. ‘The press might follow the story, see if they can get any more on what Eddie’s fed them. I don’t want to risk you being implicated any more than you already are.’

Abby nodded, trying not to feel it as a rejection.

‘And Leo will want me to concentrate on the book, the publicity.’ He sighed and put his empty plate on the bedside table. ‘I don’t want you to stay away Abby, but I need to protect you from some of this. If it gets difficult again, if I—’

‘Who will stop you from drowning your sorrows in a bottle of whisky?’

‘I promise that if I even think about it, I’ll go and get some chips instead, OK?’

Abby laughed, the sound breaking through the quiet. ‘OK. You have to keep that promise, though, or I’ll worry.’

He slunk down the pillows, pulling her to him. ‘I’ll be all right.’

‘You will?’

He hesitated. ‘The thought of you here, striding through the reserve, sitting in the forest hide watching those ridiculous bullfinches will keep me going.’

She nodded, wondering how she was going to go back to her job, to be bright and bubbly and full of the joys of summer when Jack was living his life without her, back in London.