The Best Christmas Ever

“As I said,” Bill continued without answering Justin’s question, “she comes in twice a week, looking for a job. The law office, it seems, was overstaffed and had to get rid of a secretary.”

“What’s the shelter’s name and number?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to call and leave a message for Sarah to expect me.”

“Sorry, bud, the shelter closes its doors at eight. Which also means no phone calls, either.”

“What do you mean, it closes its doors at eight?”

“Just what I said. Haven’t you ever been around shelters? In the morning the people are fed, then put out for the day. At the end of the day the shelters reopen and the occupants are allowed back in for supper. At eight this particular one closes its doors and no one else is allowed in. The place is usually full by six or so anyway.”

A sick feeling curled in Justin’s stomach. “What about Sarah?”

“What about her?”

“What if she’s late getting back? Would they let her in? I mean, if she had a good explanation?”

“Sarah’s staying at a very good shelter, Justin. Try not to worry. She’s been there a couple of weeks now. They’ve treated her well. They won’t turn her out.”

Cold fear filled Justin’s heart. “You’re not answering my question. If Sarah was late, would they let her in?”

“Sarah knows the rules. She wouldn’t have been late.”

Justin had his answer. “Thanks, Bill.”

“You okay?”

How could Justin answer that truthfully? “Yeah,” he lied.

Sarah, his sister-in-law, who had been here only thirty minutes ago, was living in a shelter. His sister-in-law, for pity sakes! Why hadn’t she come to him?

In a flash of insight he realized she had. Today. And he’d snipped at her from the time he’d opened the door, never giving her a chance to state her true purpose in coming.

Anger replaced the guilt. Oh, he’d asked, but she’d refused to tell Justin what was going on. It’d always been that way. Amy had been heartsick when Sarah had closed herself off from her only sister because Amy had married him. Of course Sarah had had a good reason for not speaking to him.

His anger deflated. They were both at fault. But why hadn’t she opened up to him tonight and told him she was penniless and living in a shelter?

Because she didn’t trust him. And he didn’t trust her. And she knew that.

Yet despite that, Justin admitted to his feelings of earlier today. True, he’d felt shock and anger when he’d seen her, then experienced a need to prove that he held nothing against her. But worst of all was the spark of interest he’d felt for her that had slowly made itself known as he’d noticed the sway of her hair, the tilt of her chin, the flash of her eyes…Self-loathing ate at him. This was Amy’s sister, not a woman who should interest him. Especially since he still didn’t completely trust her. But all that didn’t matter now. The only thing that mattered was that Sarah was living in a shelter.

His sister-in-law.

Mickie’s aunt.

There was no way he was going to let her stay there.

“So—” Bill broke the silence “—are you ready to talk?”

Justin sighed. Bill was his friend. He trusted Bill more than anyone else. Maybe he needed to confide in a friend. “I guess at the time of Amy’s death Sarah was a convenient person to blame. I was despondent, and according to Sarah, I unintentionally neglected Mickie because of my grief. Maybe Sarah had been acting in Mickie’s best interest by taking me to court…or at least she thought she was. I can tell you it certainly woke me up to what was going on around me and that I had a daughter who needed me.”

He wondered if Sarah had sensed that things weren’t as good between Amy and him as they’d appeared. Had Amy told Sarah she wanted a divorce?

The night of Amy’s death, she had admitted that her parents had encouraged the match, saying it was a way of showing the peace between their two families. Had Sarah known or suspected that? He’d been devastated when his wife had run from the house to go see the sister she hadn’t talked to in months, because she was tired of trying to “work things out” as he’d insisted they do.

“Amy was angry that every time Sarah and I were near each other we fought. I knew this and tried to curb my tongue, but something got my dander up each time the woman came by. Sarah obviously felt the same way. Amy was caught in the middle and maybe that was why Sarah had fought back the way she did. She had been trying to protect Amy. I just don’t know.”

Justin ran a weary hand over his face. “She went too far when she tried to take Mickie.”

Yes, it had jerked him out of his grief, but the strength he’d found was fueled by anger and hatred, not by God. Things had been disastrous at the trial, breaking the familial bonds between them forever. Or so he’d thought until today, when he’d found out that Sarah was living in a shelter and had tried in her own way to “bury the hatchet.”

“You know you can’t just go to her and force her to move home with you. If she thinks you’re offering her charity she’ll disappear. She’s a very proud woman.”

A very proud woman who was now out wandering the streets because the shelter’s doors had closed while she’d been watching Mickie for him. What could he say to Bill? Why hadn’t she told him? He had to do something.

An idea formed. Justin would bet that Sarah would be at the shelter tomorrow when the doors opened. She’d been staying there for a while, according to Bill. Yes, his plan just might work.

“Look, Bill, I’m desperate. I need a baby-sitter. I don’t know how to get a hold of Sarah. Could you contact her for me tomorrow when the shelter opens for breakfast? Tell her I called looking for her and need her help.”

Bill whistled on the other end. “She’s gonna go crazy when she finds out you know about her living in a shelter.”

“I understand. Maybe you can smooth that over, convince her I’m not handing out charity. My baby-sitter quit tonight and I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I need someone—immediately! If it’ll help, tell her I’m desperate. You know her better than I do. Do what you have to and convince her to take the job. Call me first thing in the morning after you talk to her.”

“Sure thing. And, Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s about time you faced this thing between you and Sarah.” With those words Bill hung up.

Justin slowly replaced the receiver, trying not to read more into Bill’s words than he’d intended. But the truth was, it was hard not to. Because, like a lightning bolt from the sky, he suddenly wondered if maybe that had not been part of the problem all along. Had he married Amy partly out of guilt? Oh, he’d been attracted to her, but what he’d done to her family’s business had been part of the equation, too. Unfortunately, she’d married him only out of obligation to her family. He’d cared for Amy. At least on his part he had been willing to stay married forever. They had enjoyed a good comfortable relationship, and in his own way, he’d loved her.

But Bill’s words unsettled him more than they should have. Was it not possible that he’d known, on some deeper level, that Amy hadn’t loved him and he’d felt threatened by Sarah’s anger and dislike?

The possibility was too awful to consider. He didn’t want to think that he’d been so insecure back then that he had actually helped cause the wedge in his marriage.

With that thought, he slipped into bed and pulled the covers up to his waist. He would give Sarah a job, prove to her he held no grudges against her and prove to himself that there was really nothing between them at all. Then he’d have his peace again. He could close that part of his life and go forward to face whatever the future held, with no regrets or shadows from the past dogging his heels.

Chapter Three (#ulink_5bfafe22-5c7e-5ec5-9c39-0bd4990f3ee2)

The doorbell rang, but Justin didn’t rush forward the way he wanted to. He didn’t throw open the door and greet his sister-in-law with a blast of anger. Instead, he took two repetitive breaths, letting each one out slowly, readying himself for the battle he was sure to face. When he was certain he had control of his emotions, he calmly walked forward and pulled open the door.

She still wore the same jeans from yesterday. She’d changed her shirt, though, he noted. Instead of a white pullover, she wore a pink one.

“Well, are you done gawking at the charity case?”

He raised an eyebrow in silent query, but that only seemed to antagonize her.