His Secondhand Wife

“Yes, thank you. You’re very thoughtful. Good night, dear.”

“Good night.”

Since Noah wasn’t there to insist she set the plates out of doors for someone else to wash, Kate took care of them.

Afterward, she took her coat from beside the door and escaped out into the cool night air. The darkness and quiet were complete and all-encompassing out here in the foothills. Kate walked away from the house and stood beneath the night sky where she took a deep, cleansing breath. Everything was clean here. New. She had a fresh start.

She sensed more than heard someone approach and turned to discover Noah’s broad form in the moonlight.

“You all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I just came out to enjoy the sky and the air. It’s so fresh, don’t you think? Better than perfume. Better than clean laundry. I can smell blossoms. I wonder what they are. Have you ever smelled anything equal to this? Just look at the sky. It goes on forever, doesn’t it? I feel like a little speck way down here on the ground.”

“She upset you?”

She glanced at him. “Estelle? No, she’s been very kind to me. She’s anguished over losing her son and that’s understandable. I feel bad for her.”

He grunted.

“You two are not close.”

He looked across the dark pasture. “My father married her when I was eight. Had her own child soon and never had much use for me. She didn’t like this place, wanted a house in town.”

“But this is such beautiful country and the house is perfect. I can’t imagine anyone not loving it here.”

“Estelle hated that my father built the house for my mother.”

“Oh, I see. That’s a shame.”

Amazingly, Noah offered more information. “She stayed awhile after Levi was born. But as he got older, he wanted to work the horses with us. She moved to town.”

What kind of mother left two children behind so that she could live in a nicer house? “When did your father die?”

“Several years later.”

“I never knew my father. After Mama married him, he got gold fever. He lit out for the gold fields when I was little. Mama never had much use for men after that. Justified, she was, because of having to raise me all by herself and all. I always hoped for something better. A whole family.”

She didn’t mention Levi’s name, but the hurt of his betrayal was there in the things left unspoken.

“You’re thinking I didn’t do too well choosing a husband and a father for my baby,” she said softly. “And I expect you’re right. Taking a husband is kind of like finding an egg in a nest.”

He cocked his head and looked at her.

“You know it’s a bird in there, you just don’t know what kind it’ll turn out to be.”

“Can usually tell by the shell what kind of bird it is.”

A breeze blew a strand of hair across her face and flattened her skirts to her legs.

“I like April,” she said, undaunted by his pragmatic contradiction. “It’s full of promises. The snow’s nearly all melted and flowers are just beginning to bloom. You know summer’s coming and soon there will be plenty of sunshine. Summer’s not pretty in the city. There’s lots of smoke and dust and it’s mostly hot. I’ll bet it’s nicer here. I read a book once where the boys went fishing in a pond and caught their own fish for supper. Do you catch fish?”

“Sometimes.”

“Where at?”

He pointed. “Lake yonder. Or the river.”

“Would you show me sometime?”

He nodded.

She wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s going to be a good spring and an even better summer.”

“When’s the baby comin’?”

“August I expect. I think that will be a good time. Better than winter. Won’t have to bundle him up or keep him out of drafts and such.” She turned and looked up at his shadowed features. “Noah?”

He jerked at her address. “Yeah.”

“I was wondering…that is, were you hoping I’d say yes and go with Estelle? I mean, it’s a bother having me here, and you don’t even know me. I wouldn’t think poorly of you if you’d just as soon I not be here.”

“You’n the baby are better off here.”

He hadn’t said he wanted her here, however. He felt a responsibility, though, and for now his sense of duty was her salvation. “I’m grateful,” she said softly.

“Go to bed now.”

“All right.” She headed for the house, sensing him behind her. He remained on the back stoop while she entered the kitchen and hung her coat. She dipped a pail of water, gave him a little wave through the screen door and headed up the stairs.

Kate slept amazingly well under Noah’s roof. Though it was a strange place and a completely new environment, she felt safe and comfortable. She woke rested and felt somewhat guilty over the fact when she saw Levi’s mother.

Estelle had dark rings under her eyes and her face seemed puffy. After breakfast, she donned a hat with a black veil that shaded her eyes and gave her a dramatic sorrowful air, which Kate suspected had been her intention.

Kate wore her other good dress. It looked similar to the last, except that it had an inch of lace that showed at the hem and at each sleeve. Estelle had shaken her head upon seeing it, but commented that there was nothing to be done about her costume that day.

Noah wore dark trousers, a jacket with the collar turned up and a shirt and string tie. A black felt hat shaded his eyes.

Newt and a fellow they called Jump came to nail the lid on the coffin, carry out it out and place it on the back of a wagon.

Within the hour, townspeople arrived, along with the preacher. Kate met Marjorie Benson, a tall woman with friendly brown eyes and a big smile. The crowd walked behind the wagon, which Noah guided to a grassy area. Piles of rocks indicated other graves.

“Who else is buried here?” Kate asked Marjorie.

“The senior Mr. Cutter and an old drover that I know of.”

A hole had already been prepared for the casket. The people gathered and four men lowered it into the grave. Kate got a sinking feeling at the permanence of the act. Levi had been her husband for such a brief time. All these folks had known him longer than she. But she carried a part of him inside her. A baby he’d left her before he’d run off and taken up with another man’s wife. How many of these people knew that part? she wondered. Thinking of it, Kate felt used and of little value.

Reverend Davidson read from the Book of Psalms and said a prayer. Estelle sobbed woefully and dabbed her nose with a delicate lace-edged hankie. Two sympathetic women friends braced her on either side.