The Adventures of a Modest Man

In due time Monsieur the Viscount himself appeared, elegant, graceful, smart; black and scarlet uniform glittering with triple-gold arabesques on sleeve and Képi, spurs chiming with every step.

We chatted amiably for a few moments; then the Captain, standing very erect and stiff, made me a beautiful bow and delivered the following remarkable question:

"Monsieur Van Twillaire, I am come to-day according to the American custom, to beg your permission to pay my addresses to mademoiselle, your daughter."

I inhaled the smoke of my cigarette in my astonishment. That was bad for me. After a silence I asked:

"Which daughter?"

"Mademoiselle Dulcima, monsieur."

After another silence I said:

"I will give you an answer to-morrow at this hour."

We bowed to each other, solemnly shook hands, and parted.

I was smoking restlessly in the conservatory of the hotel when a bellboy brought me the card of Captain le Vicômte de Barsac.

In due time the Vicômte himself appeared, elegant, graceful, smart; black, scarlet, and white uniform glittering with triple-gold arabesques on sleeve and Képi, spurs chiming with every step.

We chatted amiably for a few moments; then the Captain, standing very erect and stiff, made me a beautiful bow and delivered the following remarkable question:

"Monsieur Van Twillaire, I am come to-day according to the American custom, to beg your permission to pay my addresses to mademoiselle, your daughter."

I dropped my cigarette into the empty fireplace.

"Which daughter?" I asked, coldly.

"Mademoiselle Dulcima, monsieur."

After a silence I said:

"I will give you an answer to-morrow at this hour."

We bowed to each other, solemnly shook hands, and parted.

I was smoking violently in the conservatory of the hotel, when a bellboy brought me a card of my old friend, Gillian Van Dieman.

In due time Van Dieman appeared, radiant, smiling, faultlessly groomed.

"Well," said I, "it's about time you came over from Long Island, isn't it? My daughters expected you last week."

"I know," he said, smiling; "I couldn't get away, Peter. Didn't Alida explain?"

"Explain what?" I asked.

"About our engagement."

In my amazement I swallowed some smoke that was not wholesome for me.

"Didn't she tell you she is engaged to marry me?" he asked, laughing.

After a long silence, in which I thought of many things, including the formal offers of Captains de Barsac and Torchon de Cluny, I said I had not heard of it, and added sarcastically that I hoped both he and Alida would pardon my ignorance on any matters which concerned myself.

"Didn't you know that Alida came over here to buy her trousseau?" he inquired coolly.

I did not, and I said so.

"Didn't you know about the little plot that she and I laid to get you to bring her to Paris?" he persisted, much amused.

I glared at him.

"Why, Peter," he said, "when you declared to me in the clubhouse that nothing could get you to Paris unless, through your own stupidity, something happened to your pig – "

I turned on him as red as a beet.

"I know you stole that pig, Van!"

"Yes," he muttered guiltily.

"Then," said I earnestly, "for God's sake let it rest where it is, and marry Alida whenever you like!"

"With your blessing, Peter?" asked Van Dieman, solemnly.

"With my blessing – dammit!"

We shook hands in silence.

"Where is Alida?" he asked presently.

"In her room, surrounded by thousands of dressmakers, hatmakers, mantua-makers, furriers, experts in shoes, lingerie, jewelry, and other inexpensive trifles," said I with satisfaction.

But the infatuated man never winced.

"You will attend to that sort of thing in the future," I remarked.

The reckless man grinned in unfeigned delight.

"Come," said I, wearily, "Alida is in for all day with her trousseau. I've a cab at the door; come on! I was going out to watch the parade at Longchamps. Now you've got to go with me and tell me something about this temperamental French army that seems more numerous in Paris than the civilians."

"What do you want to see soldiers for?" he objected.

"Because," said I, "I had some slight experience with the army this morning just before you arrived; and I want to take a bird's-eye view of the whole affair."

"But I – "

"Oh, we'll return for dinner and then you can see Alida," I added. "But only in my company. You see we are in France, Van, and she is the jeune fille of romance."