A Young Man in a Hurry, and Other Short Stories

The encircling forest re-echoed the hammer strokes; a squirrel scolded from the orchard.

“Didn’t I hear a gun go off in them alder bushes this morning?” inquired the game-warden. Byram made no reply, but hammered violently. “Anybody got a ice-house ’round here?” persisted the game-warden.

Byram turned a non-committal eye on the warden.

“I quit that business three years ago, an’ you know it,” he said. “I ’ain’t got no ice-house for to hide no pa’tridges, an’ I ain’t a-shootin’ out o’ season for the Saratogy market!”

The warden regarded him with composure.

“Who said you was shootin’ pa’tridges?” he asked. But Byram broke in:

“What would I go shootin’ them birds for when I ’ain’t got no ice-box?”

“Who says you got a ice-box?” replied the warden, calmly. “There is other folks in Foxville, ain’t there?”

Byram grew angrier. “If you want to stop this shootin’ out o’ season,” he said, “you go to them rich hotel men in Saratogy. Are you afraid jest because they’ve got a pull with them politicians that makes the game-laws and then pays the hotel men to serve ’em game out o’ season an’ reason? Them’s the men to ketch; them’s the men that set the poor men to vi’latin’ the law. Folks here ’ain’t got no money to buy powder ’n’ shot for to shoot nothin’. But when them Saratogy men offers two dollars a bird for pa’tridge out o’ season, what d’ye think is bound to happen?”

“Shootin’,” said the warden, sententiously. “An’ it’s been did, too. An’ I’m here for to find out who done that shootin’ in them alders.”

“Well, why don’t you find out, then?” sneered young Byram from his perch on the ridge-pole.

“That’s it,” said the warden, bitterly; “all you folks hang together like bees in a swarm-bunch. You’re nuthin’ but a passel o’ critters that digs ginseng for them Chinese an’ goes gunnin’ for pa’tridges out o’ season – ”

“I’ll go gunnin’ for you!” shouted Byram, climbing down the ladder in a rage. “I am going to knock your head off, you darned thing!”

Prudence halted him; the game-warden, who had at first meditated flight, now eyed him with patronizing assurance.

“Don’t git riled with me, young man,” he said. “I’m a ’fical of this State. Anyway, it ain’t you I’m lookin’ for – ”

“Well, why don’t you say so, then?” broke in Byram, with an oath.

“But it’s one o’ your family,” added the warden.

“My family!” stammered Byram, in genuine surprise. Then an ugly light glimmered in his eyes. “You mean Dan McCloud?”

“I do,” said the warden, “an’ I’m fixed to git him, too.”

“Well, what do you come to me for, then?” demanded Byram.

“For because Dan McCloud is your cousin, ain’t he? An’ I jest dropped in on you to see how the land lay. If it’s a fight it’s a fight, but I jest want to know how many I’m to buck against. Air you with him? I’ve proofs. I know he’s got his ice-box stuffed full o’ pa’tridges an’ woodcock. Air you with him?”

“No,” said Byram, with a scowl; “but I ain’t with you, neither!”

“Don’t git riled,” said the warden. “I’m that friendly with folks I don’t wanter rile nobody. Look here, friend, you an’ me is ’ficials, ain’t we?”

“I’m road-master of Foxville,” said Byram, aggressively.

“Well, then, let’s set down onto this bunch o’ shingles an’ talk it over ’ficially,” suggested the warden, suavely.

“All right,” said Byram, pocketing his hammer; “if you’re out to ketch Dan McCloud I don’t care. He’s a low-down, shifty cuss, who won’t pay his road-tax, an’ I say it if he is my cousin, an’ no shame to me, neither.”

The warden nodded and winked.

“If you he’p me ketch Dan McCloud with them birds in his ice-box, I’ll he’p you git your road-tax outen him,” he proposed. “An’ you git half the reward, too.”

“I ain’t no spy,” retorted Byram, “an’ I don’t want no reward outen nobody.”

“But you’re a ’ficial, same as me,” persisted the warden. “Set down onto them shingles, friend, an’ talk it over.”

Byram sat down, fingering the head of his hammer; the warden, a fat, shiny man, with tiny, greenish eyes and an unshaven jaw, took a seat beside him and began twisting a greasy black mustache.

“You an’ me’s ’ficials,” he said, with dignity, “an’ we has burdens that folks don’t know. My burden is these here folks that shoots pa’tridges in July; your burdens is them people who don’t pay no road-tax.”

“One o’ them people is Dan McCloud, an’ I’m goin’ after that road-tax to-night,” said Byram.

“Can’t you wait till I ketch McCloud with them birds?” asked the warden, anxiously.

“No, I can’t,” snapped Byram; “I can’t wait for no such thing!” But he spoke without enthusiasm.

“Can’t we make it a kind o’ ’ficial surprise for him, then?” suggested the warden. “Me an’ you is ’ficials; your path-masters is ’ficials. We’ll all go an’ see Dan McCloud, that’s what we’ll do. How many path-masters hev you got to back you up?”

Byram’s face grew red as fire.

“One,” he said; “we ain’t a metropolipus.”

“Well, git your path-master an’ come on, anyhow,” persisted the game-warden, rising and buttoning his faded coat.

“I – I can’t,” muttered Byram.

“Ain’t you road-master?” asked Dingman, astonished.

“Yes.”

“Then, can’t you git your own path-master to do his dooty an’ execoote the statoots?”

“You see,” stammered Byram, “I app’inted a – a lady.”

“A what!” cried the game-warden.

“A lady,” repeated Byram, firmly. “Tell the truth, we ’ain’t got no path-master; we’ve got a path-mistress – Elton’s kid, you know – ”

“Elton?”

“Yes.”

“What hung hisself in his orchard?”

“Yes.”