"I think, Philippa, we ought to have a business talk this morning," he said pleasantly.
"To discuss our affairs," she nodded contentedly. "I have my little account book in my trunk. Shall I get it for you?"
He smiled:
"I didn't intend to examine your financial situation – "
"Oh, but we had better be very clear about it! You see, I have just so much saved – I shall show you exactly! – and then we can compute exactly what economies it will be necessary for me to make in order to maintain myself until we can find employment for me – "
"But, Philippa – " he tried to maintain his gravity – "you need not have any concern in that regard. First of all, you are on a salary as my model – "
"Please! I did not wish to be paid for aiding you – "
"But it is a matter of business!"
"I thought – I am happy in being permitted to return a little of your kindness to me – I do not want anything from you – "
"Kindness!"
"You have let me find a refuge with you – "
"Dear child, I offer you employment until something more suitable offers. Didn't you understand?"
"Yes, but I did not expect or wish you to pay me – except with friendship. It is different between us and others, is it not? – I mean you are my friend… I could not take money from you… Let it be only friendship between us. Will you? I have enough to last until I can find employment. Only let me be with you. That is quite enough for me, Warner."
Halkett, who had been gazing fixedly through his glasses, remarked that the column across the river had now passed.
It was true; the wall of dust still obscured the blue foothills of the Vosges, but the last fantassin had trotted beyond their view and the last military wagon had rolled out of sight.
Halkett descended from the ladder and went through the house and down the road in the direction of the schoolhouse, a smart, well-groomed, well-set-up figure in his light-colored service uniform and cap.
Philippa gathered her knitting into one hand, placed the other in Warner's, and descended the ladder face foremost, with the lithe, sure-footed grace of Ariadne, who had preceded them.
"Come to my room," she said, confidently taking possession of Warner's arm; "I want to show you my account book."
Madame Arlon, who was coming through the hallway, overheard her, gazed at her unsmilingly, glanced at Warner, whose arm the girl still retained.
Philippa looked up frankly, bidding the stout, florid landlady a smiling good morning, and Madame Arlon took the girl's hands rather firmly into her own, considered her, looked up at Warner in silence.
Perhaps she arrived at some silent and sudden conclusion concerning them both, for her tightened lips relaxed and she smiled at them and patted Philippa's hands and went about her affairs, still evidently amused over something or other. She remarked to Magda in the kitchen that all Americans were mad but harmless; which distinguished them from Europeans, who were merely mad.
Upstairs in her bedroom, Philippa was down on her knees rummaging in her little trunk and chattering away as gay as a linnet to Warner, who stood beside her looking on.
And at first the pathos of the affair did not strike him. The girl's happy torrent of loquacity, almost childish in its eagerness and inconsequential repetition of details concerning the little souvenirs which she held up for his inspection, amused him, and he felt that she was very, very young.
All the flimsy odds and ends which girlhood cherishes – things utterly valueless except for the memories evoked by disinterring and handling them, these Philippa resurrected from the confused heap of clothing in her trunk – here a thin gold circlet set with a tiny, tarnished turquoise, pledge of some schoolmate's deathless adoration – there an inky and battered schoolbook with girls' names written inside in the immature chirography of extreme youth and sentiment. And there were bits of inexpensive lace and faded ribbons, and a blotting pad full of frail and faded flower-ghosts, and home-made sachets from which hue and odor had long since exhaled, and links from a silver chain and a few bright locks of hair in envelopes.
And every separate one of these Philippa, on her knees, held up for Warner to admire while she sketched for him the most minute details of the circumstances connected.
Never doubting his interest and sympathy, she freed her long-caged heart with all the involuntary ecstasy of an escaped bird pouring out to the clouds the suppressed confidences of many years.
Names, incidents, circumstances almost forgotten even in her brief solitary life, were now uttered almost unbidden from her ardent lips; the bright or faded bits of ribbon were held aloft, identified with a little laugh or sigh, tossed aside, and another relic uncovered and held out to him.
On her knees before these innocent records of the past, the girl was showing him everything she knew about herself – showing him herself, too, and her warm, eager heart of a child.
He was no longer merely amused; he stood listening in silence to her happy, disjointed phrases, evoked by flashes of memory equally disconnected.
The happiness connected with her girlish souvenirs faded, however, when they represented the period following her removal from school.
And yet, for all the loneliness and unhappiness – for all the instinctive mental revolt, all the perplexity and impatience of these latter years – their souvenirs she handled tenderly, describing each with that gentleness and consideration born of intimate personal association.
And at last she discovered her account book, strapped with rubber bands, and she rose from the floor, drew the only chair up for Warner, and seated herself on her bed, laying the book open across his knees.
Here, under his eyes, columns of accurately kept figures told the story. Here everything had been minutely set down – her meager salary, her few expenses, her rigid economies, her savings during the years of her employment by Wildresse – a record of self-denial, of rigid honesty, of childlike perseverance.
As he slowly turned the clearly written pages on his knees, Philippa, leaning against his shoulder, her fresh young face close to his, pointed out and explained with her forefinger tracing the written figures.
After he had examined her accounts, she unstrapped her thin little pass book for him. It was in order and balanced to the end of July.
He closed the books, rested his clasped hands on them, and sat thinking. His preoccupied expression left her silent, too – or perhaps it was the slight reaction from her joyous indulgence in loquacity. Reticence always follows – and always this aftermath of silence is tinged with sadness.
He was thinking, almost in consternation, how lightly he had assumed responsibility for a young soul in the making. All of her was still in the making; the girl was merely beginning to develop in mind and spirit; and in body her development had not ended.
Her circumstances aside – whatever her origin, whatever her class or position might have been – he suddenly realized that for him the responsibility was too great.
Whatever her origin, in her were the elements and instincts of all things upright. Whatever her place in the social scale, her intelligence could not be questioned. And, if her recent years had been passed amid sordid and impossible surroundings and influences, these had not corrupted her. In her there was no hint of depravity, nothing unwholesome, nothing spoiled.
Life and endeavor and the right to hope still lay before her; a theoretical future opened uncontaminated; opportunity alone was her problem; and his. And he realized his responsibility and was perplexed and troubled.
"Philippa," he said, looking up at her where she sat on the iron bed, her cheek resting on her clasped hands, "I am not very aged yet. Do you realize that?"
"Aged?" she repeated, puzzled.
He laughed and so did she.
"I mean," he said, "that if you and I go about together in this rather suspicious world, nobody is likely to understand how very harmless and delightful our friendship is."
She nodded.
"Not that I care," he said, "except on your account. A girl has only one real asset, as assets and liabilities are now figured out by what we call civilization. It won't do to have any suspicion attach to this solitary asset of yours. There must never be any question of your moral solvency through your friendship for me or mine for you. Do you follow me?"
"Yes."
"Very well. It remains for us to find out how to remain friends without hurting you and your prospects in a world, which, as I have explained, is first of all an incredulous world, and after that the most pitiless of planets. Do you still follow what I say?"
"Yes."
"Then have you any suggestions?"
"No, Warner."
"What would you prefer to do to support yourself?"
"Anything that permitted me to remain near you."
"I know, Philippa; but I mean, leaving me out of consideration, what do you prefer to do?"
"I like everything – respectable."
"But what in particular?"
"I don't know; I like to keep accounts; I like to oversee and manage a household… I conducted all the departments of the Café and Cabaret de Biribi – I was manager, housekeeper, general director; I hired and discharged servants, looked after all marketing, all the linen and tableware, kept all accounts and paid all wages.
"I know how to do such things and I like to do them. It was only the other – the secret service – which sickened me. Of course it would have been a great happiness to me if I had been employed in quiet, respectable, and cultivated surroundings, and not in a public place where anybody may enter and misbehave."
"I understand," he said thoughtfully. "If it is necessary, then, you are competent to do your duty as housekeeper in a private house."
"I don't know; I should think so."
"And there is nothing else you prefer?"
Philippa shook her head. Then she picked up her knitting again, settling herself on the edge of the bed, feet crossed, fingers flying, delicate face bent gravely over her work. And all at once it seemed to Warner that her peasant dress was not convincing; that this gay costume of her province which she wore was only a charming masquerade – the pretty caprice of a young girl born to finer linen and a purple more costly – the ephemeral and wayward whim which once had been responsible for the Little Trianon, and irresponsible to everything else except the traditions of a caste.
"Who are you, Philippa?" he asked curiously.
"I?" Her lifted eyes were level with his, very sweet and clear, and the bright needles ceased clicking.
"Don't you know who you are?" he repeated, watching her.
"A foundling… I told you once."
"Is that all you know?"
"Yes."
"Does he know more than that?"
"He says he does not."
"You have no clew to your parentage?"
"None."
Her gaze became preoccupied, wandered from his, grew vaguely wistful.
"Out of the gutter," she said, without any bitterness in her emotionless voice. " – Of which circumstance he has frequently reminded me." With an unconscious movement she extended one exquisitely fashioned hand and gazed at it absently; looked down at the slim foot, where on the delicately arched instep a peasant's silver buckle glimmered.
Then, resting her grey eyes on him:
"If it really was the gutter, it is odd," she said, half to herself, "because always that second self which lives within me goes freshly bathed and clean and clothed in silk."
"Your second self?"
"My real self – my only comrade. You know, don't you? When one grows up alone there grows up with one an inner comrade – the truer self… Otherwise the solitude of life must become intolerable."
"Yes, I understand."
"All lonely children have such a comrade, I suppose. Absolute self-isolation seems unendurable – actually impossible for a human being."
She resumed her knitting, meditatively, as a youthful princess might pick up her embroidery.
"As for the gutter," she said, " – out of the common earth we came, and we return to it… Christ wandered, too, in very humble places."
CHAPTER XX
About noon a British soldier in uniform and mounted on a motor cycle came whizzing up to the Golden Peach.
Warner was in his room writing to his bankers in Paris; Philippa, in her room, was mending underwear; Halkett, who had walked to the school only to learn that Sister Eila had gone to the quarries, came out of the garden, where he had been sitting in silence with Ariadne.
The cyclist, a fresh-faced young fellow, saluted his uniform; Halkett took the dispatches, read them, turned on his heel and went upstairs to make his adieux. First he knocked on Philippa's door, and when the girl appeared he took his leave of her with a new and oddly stiff deference which seemed akin to shyness.
"I am so sorry you are going," she said.
"Thanks, so much. I shan't ever forget my debt to you. I hope you'll be all right now."
"I shall be all right with Mr. Warner, always. I do hope we shall see you again."
"If I come out of this – " He checked himself, embarrassed, then he added hurriedly: "I'll look you up, if I may. I shan't forget you."
His vigorous handclasp almost wrung a cry from her, but she managed to smile, and he went on down the corridor and knocked at Warner's door.
"Well, old chap, good-by and good luck!"
"What! Have your orders arrived?" exclaimed Warner.
"Just now. I've a motor cyclist below. He takes me behind him to Ausone. From there I go by rail."
"I'm glad for your sake, Halkett; I'm sorry for my own. It's been a jolly friendship."
"Yes, considering all the trouble I've put you to – "
"I tell you I liked it! Didn't I make that plain? I was in a rut; I was turning into an old fluff before you came cannoning into me, bringing a lively breeze with you. I've never enjoyed anything half as much!"
"It's kind of you to take it so. You've been very good to me, Warner. I shan't forget you – or the little lady yonder. I'm sure this doesn't mean the end of our friendship."
"Not if it lies with us, Halkett. I hope you'll come through. Good luck, old fellow."
"Thanks! Good luck and good-by."
Their gripped hands parted; Halkett turned, walked toward the stairs, halted:
"I'll send for my luggage," he said.
"I'll look out for it."
"Thanks. And be civil to Ariadne. She's a friendly old thing!"
"I'll cherish her," said Warner, smiling.
So they parted. He took leave of Madame Arlon and reckoned with her in British gold; Magda and Linette were made happy with his generosity.
Out on the roadside they saw him swing up behind the soldier cyclist. A moment later there was only a trail of dust hanging along an empty road.
But Halkett had not yet done with Saïs. At the school he dismounted and ascended the steps.
The schoolroom was empty, the place very still. From a distance came the voices of children. It was the hour of their noonday recreation.
He entered the quiet schoolroom. On the desk stood a vase of white clove pinks. He took one, inhaled its fragrance, touched it to his lips, turned to the door, and suddenly flushed to the roots of his hair.
Sister Eila, on the doorstep, turned her head and looked steadily at the soldier cyclist for a moment. But a moment was enough.
Yet, still looking away from Halkett, she said in her serene young voice:
"Your uniform tells me your errand, Monsieur Halkett. You have come for your papers."
"If I may trouble you – " His voice and manner were stiff and constrained.
She let her eyes rest on him for a moment:
"A British uniform is pleasant to see in France," she said. "One moment – " She stepped past him and entered the schoolroom. "I shall bring you your papers."
He walked slowly out to the road, holding in his hands, which were clasped behind him, the clove pink. Standing so, he looked across the fields to the river willows, from whence the shot had come. Slowly, clear-cut and in full sunshine, the scenes of that day passed through his mind. And after they had passed he turned and walked back to the schoolroom.
Sister Eila was seated at her desk, the papers lying before her.
He took them, buttoned them inside his tunic. She sat looking across the dim room, her elbow on the desk, her chin resting on her palm.
"There is no use trying to thank you," he said with an effort – and stopped.
After a silence:
"You are going into battle," she said.
"I hope so."
"Yes – I hope so… God protect you, Mr. Halkett."
He could not seem to find his voice.
Perhaps the silence became unendurable to her; she fumbled for her rosary, lifted it, and took the metal crucifix between both hands.
"Good-by," he said.
"Good-by." Her eyes did not leave the crucifix.
He stood motionless, crushing his forage cap in his hands. The white flower broke from its stem and fell to the floor. He bent and picked it up, looked at it, looked at her, turned and went his way.
The crucifix in her tightening hand grew indistinct, blurring under her steady gaze. In her ears still sounded the retreating racket of the motor cycle; the echoes lingered, grew fainter, died out in the golden gloom of the room.
Sister Eila extended her arms in front of her and laid her colorless face between them. The room grew very still.
CHAPTER XXI
A line regiment came swinging along from the south, its band silent, but the fanfare of its field music tremendously noisy – bass drums, snare drums, hunting horns and bugles – route step, springy and slouchy, officers at ease in their saddles: but, through the clinging aura of the dust, faces transfigured, and in every eye a depth of light like that which shines from the fixed gaze of prophets.
Rifles slung, equipments flapping, the interminable files trudged by under the hanging dust, an endless, undulating blur of red and blue, an immense shuffling sound, almost melodious, and here and there a handsome, dusty horse pacing amid the steady torrent.
They occupied only half of the wide, military road; now and then a military automobile came screaming past them with a flash of crimson and gold in the tonneau, leaving on the retina a brilliant, glimmering impression that faded gradually.
On the road across the Récollette, wagons, motor trucks, and field artillery had been passing for hours; the barrier of dust had grown much loftier, hanging suspended and unchanging against the hills, completely obscuring them except for a blue summit here and there.
Fewer troops passed on this side of the river. A regiment of dragoon lancers rode by about one o'clock – slender, nervous, high-strung officers, with the horse-hair blowing around their shoulders from their silver helmets; the sturdy, bronzed young troopers riding with their lances swung slanting from the arm loops – and all with that still, fixed, enraptured expression of the eyes, as though under the spell of inward meditation, making their youthful features dreamy.
In some village through which they had passed, people had hung wreaths of leaves and flowers around their horses' necks. They still hung there, wilting in the sun; some, unraveled and trailing, shed dying blossoms at every step.
From the garden wall where she sat knitting beside Ariadne, Philippa plucked and tossed rose after rose down into the ranks of the passing horsemen.
There was no pleasantry, no jesting, scarcely a smile on the girl's lips or on theirs, but as each trooper caught the flung rose he turned his helmeted head and saluted, and rode on with the fresh flower touching his dusty lips.
And so they passed, squadron crowding on squadron, the solid trampling thunder shaking the earth. Not a trumpet note, not a whistle signal, not a voice, not a gilded sleeve upflung, not a slim saber lifted – only the steady, slanting torrent of lances and the running glitter of slung carbines, and a great flowing blaze of light from acres of helmets moving through the haze, as in a vision of pomp and pageantry of ancient days and brave.
Warner came across the fields swinging his walking stick reflectively as the last peloton rode by.
Philippa looked down at him from her perch on the wall, and, unsmiling, dropped him a rose.
"Thank you, pretty maiden," he said, looking up while he drew the blossom through his lapel. "I have something to talk over with you. Shall I go around and climb up to you, or will you come down and walk to the river with me?"
"Either will be a pleasure for me. I desire only to be with you," she said. So frank were her grey eyes that again the dull, inward warning of his increasing responsibility to her and for her left him silent and disconcerted.
In his knowledge of her undisguised affection, and of the glamour with which he realized she had already innocently invested him, he began to comprehend the power over her which circumstances had thrust upon him.
It was too serious a burden for such a man as he, involved too deep a responsibility; and he meant to shift it.
"Come and walk with me, then," he said, " – or we'll take the punt, if you like."
She nodded brightly, rolled up her knitting, looked around at the ladder in the garden behind her, glanced down at him, which was the shorter way.
"If I jump could you catch me?"
"I suppose I could, but – "
"Look out, then! Garde à vous!"
He managed to catch her and ease her to the ground, and, as always, she took possession of his arm with both of hers clasped closely around it, as though he meditated flight.
"While you are absent," she said, "my thoughts are occupied only with you. When I have you by me" – her clasp tightened a little – "such wonderful ideas come to inspire me – you can't imagine! I aspire to be worthy of such a friendship; I feel that it is in me to be good and wise and lofty of mind, and to think and believe generously… Do you understand me? … Petty sorrows vanish – the smaller and selfish desires and aspirations disappear. Into my spirit comes a delicious exultation, as though being with you cleansed my heart and filled my mind with ardent and noble thoughts… I don't know whether you understand. Do you?"
"I understand that you are a very generous friend, who believes that her new friend is everything with which her youthful heart invests him."
"And you are!"
"I've got to try to be, now," he said, laughingly. "There is no unhappiness like that of a broken idol."
"Do I regard you as an idol?"
"Not me, but what your charming fancy pretends is me. I dread the day you find me out."
"You are laughing at me," she said happily, walking beside him with her light, springy step. "You may make fun of me; you may say what you will. I know."
"I think I do, too. And this is what I know, Philippa; you have within you some very rare and delicate and splendid qualities. Also, you are very young, and you need a guide – "
"You!"
"No."
"What! Of course it's you I need to guide me – "
"Listen. You need a woman – older than yourself – "
"Please! – Warner, my friend – "
"I want you to listen, Philippa."
"Yes."
They walked over the clover in silence for a few moments, then, glancing at her, he unconsciously tried his power:
"You like and trust me, don't you?"
The girl lifted her grey eyes, and he looked straight ahead of him while the flush lasted in his face.
He said:
"Because I like and respect you, and because you are my friend, I am ambitious for you. I want you to have your chance. I can't give it to you, rightly. No man could do that very successfully or very prudently.
"While you remain in my employment, of course, we shall see each other constantly; when, eventually, you secure other employment, we can, at intervals, meet. But, Philippa, I don't want that sort of chance for you."
"I don't understand."
"I know you don't. Let me tell you what I have done without consulting you. If it meets with your approval, the problem of your immediate future is in a fair way of being solved."
They had reached the bank of the little river: the punt was drawn up among the rushes; they seated themselves without pushing off.
