The Baby Promise

“Don’t worry, Art. I won’t cramp your lifestyle.” The angry words spilled out before she could stop them.

“Hey, little sis, I didn’t mean it that way,” Art said, instantly remorseful. “It’s just, well, I’m kind of under the gun at work and things are piling up personally. Well, you know how things are with me and Abby…”

Beth made some appropriate noises even though she had a hard time feeling sorry for a man who had been putting off his wedding date for the past five years.

“So, well, that’s the deal. Uh, are you doing okay?” Art asked, giving his version of sympathy. “You know, with Jim gone and all?”

“I’m doing okay,” she said, her anger sifting away in the light of his confused concern.

“You still working?”

“Yeah. Part-time at the craft store and I—”

“Becker. Get out of there.” Art’s sudden yell made her jump. “Hey, Beth. Sorry. Gotta run. Becker’s digging in his dog food again.”

A click in her ear told Beth that the conversation and Art’s sympathy had come to an abrupt halt.

Though she should know better, Beth felt the prick of tears. Neither Art nor Curt were the storybook brothers her friends in school had thought they were. Thirteen years separated her and Art, the youngest of her two brothers. By the time Beth had come into the family, the boys were in their teens, interested in cars, women and anything but a little sister who cried a lot and, as she grew older, loved to dress up and play with dolls. Anything she had to say to them was greeted with grunts, blank stares and commands to get out of their rooms.

And shortly after she turned six, they both moved out, leaving her with a distant father and a mother struggling to keep her marriage together. A failing proposition, as it turned out.

Beth dropped the phone on the table and glanced at the clock. She had to get going if she wanted to meet Shellie at the store this time. She started for the kitchen to prepare her bag lunch just as she heard a scraping sound outside the house.

What was going on?

She opened the door a crack.

A flurry of snow flew through the air, then another, and through it, Beth made out a man, bent over, wielding a snow shovel.

Who…?

Then he straightened and Beth’s heart dropped into her boots.

What was Nick Colter still doing here? And why was he shoveling her sidewalk?

“Excuse me. Can I help you?” The question was rhetorical, seeing as how it was he who was supposedly helping her.

Nick brushed some snow off his dark hair and gave her a quick look, his cheeks ruddy with the cold. “I don’t think so. Not in your condition.”

“So…what are you doing here?”

Nick rested his hands on the top of the shovel and shrugged as he glanced at the piles of snow he had created on either side of her walk. “I’m guessing shoveling snow, but if you want to call it something else…”

“I thought you were leaving last night.” The remark came out more bluntly than she had intended, but his unexpected presence unnerved her.

“Me, too.” Nick bent over and pushed another pile of snow up, then tossed it easily aside. “Bob and Ellen asked me to stay for a night. They wanted to hear a bit more about Jim, I guess.” Nick grunted as he cleared away another space on her sidewalk.

“You don’t need to clear my walk.” She glared at him, as if to underline her message, but he wasn’t looking at her.

“You might not think so,” he returned, intent on his work. “But I don’t think your baby would appreciate you slipping and falling.”

Beth was about to say something more, then changed her mind. She had to get ready for work. Maybe he’d be gone by the time she was done.

But when she stepped out the door the second time, briefcase in one hand, bag lunch in the other, he was cleaning snow off the sidewalk that ran along the front of the house.

He looked up as she closed the door. “The snow here is really packed,” he said. “Has it ever been shoveled?”

“I’ve never shoveled it because it just leads to the back door, which I never use.”

Nick stopped his work, his expression puzzled. “You’ve been shoveling your own sidewalk?”

“Yeah.” Why did he sound so surprised? Jim was gone so much she had learned very early how to fend for herself.

“I thought Bob would.”

“He’s offered, but I take care of myself,” she replied, locking the door behind her. She caught him frowning at her again. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Nothing’s wrong.” He scratched his head. “I just figured you’d be glad for your in-laws’ help. I know they’re very concerned about you.”

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

Nick nodded slowly, glancing at her stomach. “I’m sure you do.” Then he looked up at her and she saw a softening in his features that resurrected the shiver she felt last night when his hand brushed her neck. “I wish we could have met under other circumstances. I know Jim always talked about how he wanted to introduce you to me. Show me around the ranch.”

She gave him a quick smile, wishing he would stop talking about Jim and her as if they were some storybook couple. “I appreciate that you wanted to follow through on your promise to Jim and that’s admirable, but I have to move on.”

“I understand, but I also know how much it must hurt to have lost him. I know he loved you so much.” His voice held a wistful note.

“Jim was always a good storyteller,” she said, skirting the truth with a non sequitur.

“He sure was. When things were really hard and the fighting got close, I used to get him to tell me stories of the ranch and you. How you met, what you were like. He always obliged. And I know it sounds corny, but knowing you were here, waiting for him, made it a bit easier for me.” Nick released a short laugh, as if embarrassed of his revelation.

She wouldn’t see him anymore, Beth thought. What would it hurt if she gave him just a little bit of what he expected? He just delivered a message from his buddy. It wasn’t his fault Jim was not the buddy Nick presumed he was.

“Jim was a great guy,” she said. “He took care of me and…I loved him.” At one time, anyway, so it was partly true. “I know I’ll miss him a lot.” More than that she couldn’t give Nick. “Thanks again, I guess, for delivering your message.” She felt as if she should say a bit more. He had come all this way to deliver a message she didn’t want to hear, but he had come. That must have been difficult if, indeed, he and Jim were as close as Nick indicated. “I suppose you’ll be gone when I come back?”

“More than likely. Got a few things I need to do. Gotta get on with my life, such as it is.”

Beth fidgeted a bit more as a heavy silence rose up between them. A silence holding words that could not be given form. Words that would change too much between people whose only connection was the memory of a man whom they both saw so differently.

She looked into his eyes and saw curiosity behind the vague concern. But she also saw a man who kept a promise by coming here. “I guess this is goodbye,” she said, shifting her briefcase under her arm to hold out her hand.

“I hope things go well for you and your baby.” He shook her hand, his grip firm, decisive. “Will you let me know what you have when your baby is born?”

“I will.”

“I can give you my cell number,” he said, pulling out a piece of paper.

Beth paused a moment while he shifted his weight and unzipped his coat. He pulled a pen and a small notepad out of his shirt pocket, scribbled a number on the paper and ripped it out.