Nothing Left to Give

‘As a matter of fact, yes—I’ve decided I’ll do it, but only in return for the rent. I don’t want to be paid—not if I’m eating with you as well, and it would make sense to do that if you’re sure?’

He stopped in his tracks, turning to her, his grey-green eyes filled with relief. Oh, Beth, I don’t know how to thank you ——’

She gave a dry laugh. ‘You haven’t tasted my cooking yet!’

He chuckled. ‘It can’t be worse than Mrs Archer’s.’

‘Hmm. I should reserve judgement, if I were you.’

They walked the rest of the way mostly in silence, with Gideon putting in the odd comment about routine while Beth wondered if it was really going to be such a good idea spending any more time than was strictly necessary in the company of this very attractive man.

The first session of the Stop Smoking clinic was a delight for Beth. She found that she agreed wholeheartedly with everything Gideon said, and that the videos, leaflets and advice he exposed the patients to followed almost exactly the routine she had been using.

She then talked to the patients about why they wanted to give up, and what made them smoke in the first place. They were then given a diary, and asked to set a date for giving up.

‘Don’t think of it as giving up—that implies self-sacrifice,’ Gideon told them. Think of it instead as taking control of your life again, instead of allowing tobacco to rule your actions. Note down in the diary when you smoke, and why. There will be some cigarettes that are harder to give up than others. Note which ones you think they will be.’

When the patients left, she could see some of them already looked discouraged.

They always want a miracle,’ Gideon said on the way home. They seem to think we’re going to wave a wand and it will all come right. Zap! No more cravings, no more addiction, just “I’m a non-smoker”. What they don’t realise is that they will always be smokers now, they just won’t be doing it.’

‘Unless they fail,’ Beth said drily.

Oh, yes—and lots of them will. I think we’ll lose at least one by next week.’

‘Not David Hendry, though.’

‘No—no, not Hendry. He’s determined. He’s already cut down from sixty to thirty. I don’t know when he finds the time!’

Beth laughed. ‘He needs an occupation that uses his hands—he wouldn’t be able to then.’

‘Huh! They just stick one in their mouths and breathe round it! It really is the biggest curse of our society, I think—worse than Hep B or HIV or alcohol, even. The trouble is it’s acceptable.’

‘Is it?’ Beth asked. ‘Not to me it isn’t. I resent having to breathe other people’s stale smoke.’

Gideon gave a grunt of agreement. The trouble is, once started it’s so hard to stop. I feel sorry for them.’

‘Did you notice how many of them have started smoking just by chance?’ she said.

‘Yes—and that’s why I’m making damn sure that my kids know how dangerous and anti-social it is, because it only takes one cigarette and a lifetime’s habit can be started.’ He turned his head towards her. ‘You did well.’ She returned the compliment, ignoring the kick of her heart against her ribs. ‘So did you.’

They shared a smile, and Beth felt herself falling further into what could only be a disastrous attraction. Damn, why did she have to find him so attractive? And it wasn’t just a physical thing, that was what was so dangerous. Sex appeal she could put in its proper place, but this was so much more complex, so much more insidious.

She suddenly began to wonder if sitting down at the table every evening with him and his children would actually be less harmful than starving!

Claire was on the hall floor when they went in, tangled in the phone flex as usual, lying on her back with her legs up the wall and giggling.

She looked the picture of health and fitness, and Gideon told her to get off the phone and take her feet off the wallpaper.

Beth followed him through to the kitchen, noting his scowl. ‘Um—I did a casserole—the children have all had theirs.’

He looked blankly at her, then sighed. ‘Sorry, I was miles away. That girl ——’

‘—is just like any other teenager. She’s fine.’

‘That,’ he growled, ‘is precisely my point. There’s nothing at all wrong with the little skiver. I’m starving.’

Beth stifled a grin. ‘Where do you want to eat?’

‘In here,’ he told her, and opening a cupboard, he retrieved a couple of wine glases. ‘Join me?’

Oh—thanks, yes, I will.’

While she took the casserole out of the oven and dished up, he opened a bottle and poured the wine, then handed her a glass. He raised his to her.

‘Here’s celebrating my cleverness for finding such a treasure.’

She flushed and laughed uncomfortably. ‘You haven’t tried the food yet.’

‘It smells wonderful.’ His eyes were still locked with hers, and her breath lodged in her throat. She looked quickly away.

‘Um—let’s eat.’

‘Good idea,’ he said easily, and she found he was holding the chair for her in a display of old-fashioned good manners she had forgotten existed.

As he moved away his hand brushed her shoulder, and fire shot down her arm and across her back, leaving a tingling in its wake.

This was going to be next to impossible.

Beth dropped with a sigh on to the sofa in her flat, eased off her shoes and tucked her feet under her bottom. Her first full, proper week both at the surgery and as Gideon’s housekeeper was over.

And she found, to her surprise, that far from being a trial it had been a pleasure. Everyone at the surgery, from Andrew Jones and Judith Wight, Gideon’s partners, Julie Rudd the other nurse, Molly the receptionist and Jean Rivers the practice manager, to Mrs Horrell, the cleaner, had all been universally welcoming and friendly, and as for her other job—well!

Sophie was an angel—mostly—and Claire and Will were helpful to a point. She found the intimacy of caring for Gideon’s house and family strange at first, but she soon got into the swing of it.

There was no cleaning to do, as such, because Mrs Horrell who did the surgery also did the house, and so all that Beth had to manage was the laundry, the cooking and Sophie after school.

Gideon wouldn’t let her clear up after the meal, so she made sure as much as possible was loaded into the dishwasher or dealt with before he got home.

That, of course, was when her problems really started, she thought now, snuggling deeper into the sofa.

Gideon.

Tall, strong, shouldering all his responsibilities without a murmur, so grateful for her help.

She wondered how grateful he would be if he could see into her mind as she ironed his shirts and folded his underwear.

It was just playing house, helping to pass the time, she told herself, but it was more insidious than that.