With This Baby...

‘Do I have to support her head?’ he asked. ‘It’s the only thing I can remember.’

‘No, she’s fine now. She can stand up if you hold her, and jump on your lap, but she shouldn’t do it for too long.’

‘How on earth do I know what’s too long?’ he asked with a thread of panic, and she laughed.

‘Don’t worry, she’s not made of glass. She’s just a baby. Don’t drop her on her head and she’ll be fine. They’re tough as old boots.’

She headed for the door, needing a moment to herself to let it all sink in, and his eyes tracked her like a laser.

‘Where are you going?’ he asked, his voice rising slightly with alarm.

‘The loo. You got a problem with that?’

He relaxed visibly. ‘Um—no. That’s fine. I just thought—’

‘I was going out? One step at a time, cowboy,’ she said with a smile, and left him to it.

‘Well, little Jess. So you’re Will’s baby,’ he said softly, staring into her solemn brown eyes. ‘And like the lady said, I’m your Uncle Patrick. What do you think of that?’

Not much, from the expression on her face. Her lip wobbled, and instinctively he jostled her gently on his knee and smiled at her.

‘Hey, hey, I’m not so bad. I may not know anything about babies, but we can learn together. I don’t suppose you know too much about architects or uncles, either, but you’ll learn, just like I will about babies. Oh, yes, you will.’

He nodded at her, and she blinked, so he did it again, his smile widening, and all of a sudden her face transformed. Her eyes creased up, her mouth opened to reveal one tiny white tooth in a gummy smile, and she giggled.

Patrick swallowed. There was a lump the size of a tennis ball lodged in his throat, and he had to blink hard to keep her in focus.

‘So you think I’m funny, do you?’ he said, his voice a little scratchy, and she giggled again, one arm flailing out to grab at his nose.

‘Ouch! Sharp nails!’ he chided gently, easing her surprisingly strong little fingers off while he still had skin. Instead of his nose, she fastened her hand on his finger and clung, pulling it to her mouth and gnawing it.

‘I’m not sure that’s clean enough to chew,’ he said doubtfully, but Claire came back into the room at that moment and stood right beside him—close enough for him to smell the new-mown grass that clung to her—and suddenly the germs didn’t seem to matter.

Instead, the sharp, sweet scent of grass teased his senses, heady as an aphrodisiac, and he had to force himself to concentrate on her words.

‘Don’t worry,’ she was saying, ‘children shouldn’t be brought up in a sterile environment, it’s bad for them. I’m sure your fingers aren’t that grubby.’

‘Doggy, probably,’ he said, struggling for common sense.

‘She’ll live. Did I hear her laughing?’

He looked up at her, suddenly self-conscious. Had she heard him making a fool of himself with her?

‘She giggled,’ he said, still slightly awestruck by that manifestation of personality in someone so very young, and Claire smiled.

‘Oh, she does. The sillier you make yourself, the more she likes it. I think it appeals to her sense of humour, watching adults turn themselves into fruit-cakes on her behalf.’

Fruitcakes, indeed! So she had heard. Oh, well, it might be a point in his favour, and he had a feeling he was going to need all the Brownie points he could get!

I’ll still want to be involved in her upbringing, to see her first steps, to hear her first words.

The words had been going round and round in Claire’s head since Patrick had spoken them, and, watching him with the baby now, she still had no clear idea what that implied. What did ‘involved’ mean, exactly? He wanted to see videos of her from time to time? Visit her occasionally?

Or go for custody?

As the thought popped into her mind, she felt the chill of fear run through her, and her heart started to pump.

Surely not. He couldn’t. Anyway, he wouldn’t win, he was a man.

And his DNA was an exact match with Will’s. What if he said it was him, after all? What if he claimed she was his baby, and not his brother’s?

Her eyes went to the photos, the only proof she had that the man who had fathered her sister’s baby had been the one with the appendix scar. There were no negatives, and no other copies. If the photos were to fall into the wrong hands…

‘Claire, what’s wrong?’

She jumped, swivelling her eyes from the photos to him, and met his clear, steady green-grey gaze.

‘You said you wanted to be involved in her upbringing,’ she said, her voice a little taut.

‘That’s right. I do.’

‘How involved? What exactly did you mean?’ she asked, unable to prevaricate. She’d always been direct, always gone for the jugular. If he planned to take the baby from her, she needed to know.

‘I don’t know,’ he said, and she could see the confusion and honesty in his eyes. ‘I suppose it means I want to see her as often as possible, but she lives here with you, and I live and work in London. That’s not really very straightforward.’

‘You can visit her whenever you want,’ she said, trying to make it easy so he wouldn’t try and take her from him. ‘You can stay here—there’s room. I won’t try and stop you seeing her.’

He cocked his head on one side and regarded her keenly. ‘You think I’m going to go for custody, don’t you?’ he said, his voice deceptively soft, and she swallowed and looked away.

‘I don’t know. I just know I can’t lose her. She’s all I’ve got of my sister.’

She broke off, the wound still too raw, and he tsked softly.

‘Silly girl, I’m not going to take her from you. How can I? I’m not married, I live in a flat at the top of my office block with a tiny roof garden and a hell of a long drop to the street below. You’re a woman, you’ve cared for her since she was born, you live in the country in a totally safe setting. What judge in their right mind would rule in my favour?’

She closed her eyes briefly and nodded. ‘I suppose so. I was just…’

‘Panicking?’ he finished for her, his voice gentle. ‘Don’t. On the other hand, don’t expect it all your own way. My parents will want to be involved in her life as well, and they’ll want to have her to stay—there’ll be birthdays and Christmases and all sorts.’

Claire nodded again. He was right, it wouldn’t be easy, but if they were able to work together, perhaps they could dream up a solution that would help them all.

‘First things first, though,’ he said, his mouth kicking up in a wry grin. ‘There’s a strange smell coming from this little bundle of laughs, and I think she needs her auntie.’

I want to be involved with her upbringing.

Claire smiled, some of the tension easing away. ‘Time for your first nappy-changing lesson, then,’ she said, and stood up. ‘Come on.’

‘But—I can’t!’