For a Baby

“Really? That good? Well, no wonder you lost your head.”

“I knew I was taking a spin at Russian Roulette, but I figured, what are the odds?”

“And you got lucky.”

“Or not lucky.”

“Come on, Heather. You always wanted to have a kid. This is your chance.”

“Yes, but I wanted the whole package. You know, the guy and the marriage and then the baby.” She frowned. “Some days I feel so excited and thrilled about the idea of finally having another baby. But when I try to imagine going back to school, growing big and heavy under the watchful eye of all those impressionable nine-and ten-year-olds, I just don’t think I can do it.”

“The school board won’t fire you. They can’t.”

“I know. But that’s not the point. I don’t want to be a bad role model for my kids.”

“You haven’t told your parents?”

Sigh. “No.”

“Heather…”

“I know. I have to do it soon, but I am so dreading the conversation. Can you imagine how disappointed they’ll be? My second pregnancy out of wedlock.”

Even saying it now, Heather could hardly believe it. She had no idea how her life had turned out this way. She’d always been a responsible person, and she’d tried to make smart decisions with her life. She’d earned her own way through university and had many good friends and a great relationship with her parents.

But she’d been unlucky in love. First, with Russell. They’d been best of friends for years, lovers for a short while, and then he’d met Julie and everything had changed. But while he’d made a life without her, Heather had trouble forgetting about him. Easygoing Russell with his charm and intelligence and kindness had remained her ideal for many years.

She hadn’t even been able to be angry with him about their baby. She hadn’t told him she was pregnant, so she couldn’t blame him for doing nothing. It had taken her years to get over her own pain, however. Finally she’d married a bright, ambitious young cop from Yorkton and looked forward to a future of teaching and raising a family of her own.

But Nick had been shot on the highway when he’d stopped what he’d thought was an impaired driver. The man had been drinking all right. Unfortunately he also had a gun and was intent on committing suicide. He’d taken Nick with him.

And left Heather on her own. She’d sworn to keep clear of men after that, but loneliness had eventually compelled her to start dating again. No one really appealed for more than a couple of dates, though. And she’d begun to despair of ever having the one thing she really wanted.

A child.

“Sometimes I wonder where I made my first mistake. Was it not telling Russell I was pregnant as soon as I found out? Marrying Nick? Sleeping with T.J.?” She shook her head. “Maybe I’m kidding myself, but I really feel too smart to be this stupid.”

“You’ve had bad luck with men.”

“People make their own luck.”

“Whose side are you on?” Adrienne sounded exasperated. “Is it your fault Russell fell in love with the elegant Julie? Or that Nick pulled over a crazy drunk and got himself shot? And don’t you dare blame yourself for sleeping with T.J. Though, maybe, you might have been a little more honest…”

Heather felt like sinking under the table. “Oh, God, he’s going to be so, so furious. Unless… Maybe I shouldn’t tell him.”

“Oh, right. Smart idea, Heather. And what happened the last time you got pregnant and didn’t tell the guy who was responsible? Besides, maybe there’s a silver lining to all this. In fact…” Adrienne stared across the street at the Co-op Grocery Store, but Heather could tell she wasn’t checking out the special on frozen lemonade.

“What, Adrienne? What are you thinking?”

“I’ve just had the best idea.” She straightened in her chair and smiled. “This is so perfect, so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it right away.”

Heather waited.

“Okay. You want to keep this baby, right?”

“Of course.”

“And you don’t want to be a single parent.”

“Right.”

“That means you need to get married.”

“Brilliant, Adrienne. Why didn’t I think of that?” Heather put her head into her hands. This was hopeless. The whole situation was hopeless.

“So,” Adrienne carried on, “that means you and T.J. have to get married.”

“Me and T.J.?”

“Yup.”

“That’s your perfect idea?”

“Even aside from the fact that he’s the father of your baby—which is, by the way, a good reason on its own—the guy is ideally suited to you.”

“T.J. is moody, unsociable and downright rude. Which of those stellar qualities makes him perfect for me?”

“He’s completely different from Russell, that’s what.”

“Adrienne, you’re not making any sense.”

“Russell has been your ideal for too long. You’ve judged every one of your boyfriends against the standard he set. Even Nick.”

Yes, it was true. She couldn’t deny it.

“What you need is a man who is Russell’s exact opposite. That way you won’t be able to compare—they’ll be too different.”

“I see.” Adrienne’s logic was twisted, but it could be followed if you tried hard enough. “And that’s why you think T.J. is so right for me? Because he doesn’t have any of the qualities I admire in a man?”

“Exactly.”

“I think having three sons has scrambled your brains.”

“You could be right,” Adrienne said cheerfully. “Tell you what. Why don’t you come up with a better plan?”

July

HEATHER STOPPED HER MOUNTAIN bike a couple of houses back from the construction site for the Matthews’ new house. They were pouring the foundation today. Heather put a hand to her forehead and squinted against the scorching summer sun.