His Little Cowgirl

“Why, why are you here now?”

“I want to be here.” He sipped his coffee and then set the cup on the counter. “I know I can’t stay forever, but I’m here and I want to help.”

How many people had tried to help and had accepted her refusal, and her insistence that she could do it herself? How long had she been holding on to the reins, telling herself she could do it all, while everyone called her stubborn? It wasn’t stubbornness; it was determination, and maybe a survival instinct she hadn’t recognized until recently.

It was a mantra of sorts. Keep going, keep moving forward, don’t slow down or you might not make it. She had become a horse with blinders, able to only focus on the job at hand. She didn’t want to lose focus.

“I ordered supplies to fix that north fence.” His carelessly tossed-out words jerked her back to the present.

“I didn’t ask you to do that. I can’t afford it right now.”

“I’m paying for the materials.”

“Cody, you have a career. You can’t let go of your place standing.” She let her gaze drift away from his. “And really, I don’t expect you to foot the bill around here.”

He mumbled under his breath and walked away from her.

“What about your breakfast?” she called out after his retreating back, noticing the dark perspiration triangle between his shoulders. He’d been up for a while, working.

“I don’t think that cooking my breakfast is your problem.” He turned at the door. “Bailey, you push me further than any woman ever has. On so many levels. Get in there and get ready for work. If you don’t, I’ll load you up and drive you myself.”

And then he was gone. The sound of his retreating footsteps sent a shudder up her spine. When she glanced out the window, she saw him walk into his camper, the door banging shut behind him.

“Sis, you’re going to have to let someone help—it might as well be Cody.”

Bailey turned, fixing her gaze on her dad. He had hold of the back of a kitchen chair, his knuckles white with the effort. She turned back to the normal thing, fixing breakfast and pretending her dad would be around for another twenty years.

“I know, Dad. I know that I need help, we need help, but I don’t know…”

“How to accept help.” The chair scraped on the linoleum as he sat at the kitchen table, pushing aside yesterday’s paper and a pile of mail. “You learned that stubbornness from me. Now let me teach you something new: Let someone help you out. It’ll make the burden that much lighter.”

He paused for a long time. Bailey turned with his plate and a cup of coffee. His head was buried in his hands, and his shoulders were slumped forward. Bailey put the plate down on the table and touched his arm. His hand, no longer steady, came up to rest on hers.

“Sis, it would make my burden lighter if you’d let him help.”

And that was the way he shifted it, from her to him, no longer her problem. She knew he had planned it that way. He knew that she’d do it for him when she couldn’t do it for herself. She leaned and kissed the top of his head.

“For you, Dad.” But it wouldn’t be easy, not when the long-forgotten memories of a Wyoming summer were starting to resurface, reminding her of what dreams of forever had felt like.

The light rap on the thin metal door of the RV announced her arrival. He had seen Bailey crossing the yard, her mouth moving as she talked to herself, more than likely about him and the unpleasant things she’d like to do or say.

He opened the door and motioned her in. She stood firm on the first step and didn’t accept his offer. The hair that had been held in a ponytail was now free, blowing around her face, and the slightest hint of pink gloss shimmered on her lips.

“I’m going to work.”

“Okay.” He knew it couldn’t be easy for her, letting go of pride and having him be the one who stepped in to help.

She shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. “I need to show you his medication and how to give him the injections. Can you handle that?”

“Bailey, you know that I can.” He’d given more shots than a lot of veterinarians. Growing up on a ranch, he’d doctored his own livestock. There hadn’t always been a vet on duty, or one that could get to them fast enough.

“You’ll have to make lunch. I won’t be home until after two.”

“I know that.”

“Meg will need a nap.”

“I can handle it.”

She chewed on her bottom lip, her brown eyes luminous as she stared up at him. He reminded himself that he was here because he had a daughter, not because he meant to become a part of Bailey’s life.

Other than that summer in Wyoming, he’d never really been a part of any woman’s life. He hadn’t allowed himself those forever kinds of entanglements. He wasn’t about to find out he really was his father’s son. But then, hadn’t he already found that out? He had walked out on Bailey, and he hadn’t been there for Meg.

Neither of his parents had really taught him about being there for a person, or about sticking in someone’s life.

“Let me turn off my coffee pot and I’ll be right over.”

Bailey nodded and then she walked away. He watched her cross the lawn to the house, her shoulders too stiff and her head too high. He wondered if she was really that strong or if she was trying to convince herself. He thought the latter was probably the case.

Switching off the coffee pot and then the lights over the small kitchen, he walked out the door of the RV, ignoring the jangle of his cell phone. The ring tone was personalized and he knew that the caller was one of his corporate sponsors. They wanted to know when he’d be back on tour. He didn’t have an answer.

Unfortunately he had their money and he had signed a contract. That meant he had certain obligations to fulfill. He needed to be seen, on tour, on television and wearing the logos of the corporations on his clothing.

There weren’t any easy answers, and there was a whole lot of temptation trying to drag him back into a lifestyle he’d given up months ago. He wasn’t about to go there. He was going on seven months of sobriety, and with God’s help, he planned on making his sobriety last a lifetime.

When he walked into the house a few minutes later, Bailey was sitting at the kitchen table with a plastic container full of pills and individually wrapped needles.

“You don’t have to worry, Bailey, I can do this.”

She nodded, but she didn’t have words. When was the last time she had really smiled, or even laughed? He sat down across from her, pushing aside those thoughts.

“Show me what to do.”

She did. Her hands trembled as she explained about the pain meds and the pills. She explained that Meg wasn’t allowed to drink soda, and that she should have milk with her lunch.

He felt as if he should be taking notes. Shots, cattle and fixing fences were easy; being this involved in someone’s life was a whole new rodeo. He wasn’t about to ask what five-year-old girls ate for lunch.

“I have to go. What I just showed you, I also wrote on that tablet.” She nodded toward the legal pad on the table and stood, immediately shoving her hands into her front pockets. “If you have any problems…”

“We won’t.”

“If you do, call me. I can be home in ten minutes.” She headed for the door. “Oh, if you get any calls about horses, I put an ad in the Springfield paper for training. My rates are in the ad, and no, I can’t come down in price.”

He followed her to the door. “I’ll take messages.”

“Cody, I appreciate this.”

He shrugged, as if it didn’t matter. “I’m here as long as you need me.”