A Lady at Last

She had to look up. She felt herself drown in both the grief and the compassion in his blue eyes. She nodded, choking on a huge sob.

He put his arm around her and led her toward the gleaming coffin.

Amanda fell to her knees. She hugged the waxed wood, laying her cheek on the cold surface. Papa, she thought, I love you. I always have, I always will.

Be strong, girl. Always be strong. You’re in good hands now.

Amanda stiffened, because once again it was as if Rodney was right there, speaking to her. “I’m not strong,” she whispered. “It’s a lie. I can’t go on alone.”

You’re not alone, girl, and you are strong. Strong and brave and don’t you be forgetting it.

“No, I’m not,” she wept.

Someone clasped her shoulder.

I got to be going, girl. Let me go.

Panic consumed her. “Don’t leave me!” she cried. “Papa!”

Strong hands pulled her to her feet; a strong arm held her to a powerful body. “Let him go, Amanda.” De Warenne nodded at his men.

Amanda started to weep as the six seamen lifted the coffin and carried it to the stern. “Don’t leave me,” she gasped.

“God bless,” de Warenne said.

“Amen,” two hundred men murmured.

The coffin was heaved into the sea.

Amanda screamed.

“You need to lie down,” de Warenne said, pulling her firmly away from the stern.

She turned and struck at him with both fists, repeatedly, in a frenzy, as hard as she could, as if he had murdered her father.

He lifted her into his arms and started down the deck, but she kept hitting him and hitting him, hating him and Woods and all the British and the whole world until the anger vanished and there was only exhaustion.

AMANDA AWOKE a few hours later. She stared up at the ceiling of the captain’s cabin, grimly aware that she was in de Warenne’s four-poster, which was where he had placed her after the burial. He’d also given her a drink, but she couldn’t recall what liquor it had been. She had sobbed herself to sleep.

The cabin was absolutely dark. She glanced toward the portholes, which were open, a pleasant breeze wafting into the room. Outside, the night was black velvet studded with winking stars.

She sat up on top of the red-and-gold damask covers. She fingered a sensuous leopard skin pillow. Papa was gone. He wasn’t coming back and she had to face that fact now.

She slid from the bed, barefoot. He had removed her boots or he’d ordered someone to do it for him. Amanda found them and sat down to tug them on. She was no longer in the throes of grief—she merely felt sad and resigned. But that was as it should be. Papa deserved to be mourned, and she’d had no right to have been happy earlier that day.

She wondered where the ship’s captain was, and what he thought of her now. He certainly did not think her brave and strong. She had let Papa down.

“Don’t worry,” she told her father, hoping he could hear her somehow. “There will be no more female hysteria. I’m sorry, Papa, for being such a dumb girl.”

This time, there was no answer.

Amanda sighed. She walked out of the cabin and instantly saw de Warenne.

His first officer, a big Scot named MacIver, was at the helm. De Warenne stood, lightly grasping the railing on the main deck, watching the starlight playing over the gleaming black water, sprinkling it with silver ribbons. The winds had eased and the frigate had dropped her speed. The night remained balmy and pleasant—a perfect night for a cruise.

He turned. Many feet separated them, and although his ship was far better lit than her father’s sloop had ever been, it remained shadowy and dark. It didn’t matter. Even in the dark, even with a good ten lengths between them, their gazes met and held.

Amanda almost felt hypnotized. She walked over to him.

His gaze slid over her face. “Did you have a good rest?”

She nodded. “Yes, I did. Thank you for the use of your bed.”

His mouth softened. “Do not say that too loudly—you might be misunderstood.”

She had to smile. “I am not worried. I don’t think anyone would ever accuse you of trying to take me to bed.”

He glanced away.

Instantly she recalled his interest in her that morning and his invitation to dine—which had really been an invitation to tryst. Her cheeks became warm, and an odd hollow feeling began in her lower body. Amanda turned to face the sea, grasping the railing. Too late, she realized they stood mere inches apart.

She gave him a quick, sidelong glance, aware that for the first time in her life, she was having feelings of some kind for a man. Standing this close to him left her breathless and restless. Maybe he’d ask her to supper tomorrow night.

He didn’t speak, and she turned away. She watched the starlight dancing over the rippling swells. As far as the human eye could see, there was nothing but the shining blackness of the sea. It seemed infinite, powerful and mighty.

And it was comforting. He was comforting. She was terribly aware of his big masculine body and the tension in her own limbs, but far more significant was the feeling of being safe and sheltered just by being close to him.

She smiled just a little. She didn’t have to ask to know that he was enjoying the absolute beauty and serenity of the moment, and truth be told, so was she. But the real truth was, she was enjoying being near him, and with him.

More moments passed in a new and strangely companionable silence.

Amanda said, “The night is perfect, isn’t it?”

He glanced down at her. “I agree.”

She met his gaze, felt a fluttering in her chest, then turned her vision back to the endless stretch of shining water. Papa was really gone, but the night was perfect. She should feel like a traitor, but she knew he would want her to enjoy such a night.

Then her stomach growled.

De Warenne smiled at her.

Amanda blushed. “That isn’t ladylike, is it?”

“You have told me, once or twice, that being a lady doesn’t interest you.”

She thought of the ladylike nightgown in her sack. “It doesn’t,” she said, but she felt as if she wasn’t speaking the entire truth. In order to change the subject, she added quickly, “If you really wanted to have supper with me, I ruined it.”

A brow lifted. “Actually, you haven’t and actually, I really did.”