Almost Dead

The kind of stress that a person might feel when told their sister had died.

There was only one way to find out. She would have to call Mirabella again and ask for more details on her sister’s death.

She picked up the phone again, feeling sick with dread, and dialed the number.

To her confusion, Mirabella did not answer the call. It didn’t even go through to voicemail, but just rang and rang.

She ended the call, wondering if there had been a faulty connection. While she redialed, she tried her best to gather her thoughts.

She wasn’t going mad. She was sure she hadn’t misremembered the conversation. And she was convinced that her sister couldn’t be dead. Not in such a short timeframe, when she’d been alive and well so recently.

Perhaps Mirabella was sick of people asking for Jacqui, perhaps Jacqui had a persistent ex-boyfriend who was driving everyone nuts, or maybe she’d left the boutique on bad terms, and in a fit of temper Mirabella had decided to say that dreadful thing.

This gave Cassie a glimmer of hope, but the only problem was that she couldn’t confirm it. Yet again, the phone rang unanswered, and then the click and scrape of the front door opening told her that the children were home.

After her lonely morning, and the shocking discovery she’d had to deal with, she was glad to see Nina and Venetia. She was grateful for their company, which provided a distraction from her frantic thoughts.

“Did you have a good day at school?” she asked.

They looked as neat and trim as they had when walking out the door. Cassie had vague memories of her own school days, where she’d arrived home in a state of disarray, having lost her hair tie or broken her bag or mislaid her jacket.

“My day was good, thank you,” Nina said politely.

Venetia was more talkative.

“I did a math test and came first in my class,” she said, and that prompted Nina to speak again.

“We have a spelling competition tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it, because our team won the last one.”

“Well done for your math test, Venetia, and Nina, I’m sure your team will do well. I can help you practice later if you like. Now, have you both had lunch?”

“Yes, we have,” Nina replied.

“Then why don’t you change out of your school uniforms. And then, shall we find a fun activity to do for a while, before it gets dark?”

The girls exchanged glances. It was something Cassie realized they did often, as if they needed to check in with each other before saying yes.

“All right,” Nina said.

As the girls filed obediently upstairs to get changed, Cassie felt perplexed by their overly formal behavior. She had expected that by now they would have relaxed into their normal personalities. It was as if the girls were constantly keeping her at arm’s length, and she was worried that they might resent her presence, although she didn’t know why.

This also made it difficult to interact with them; it was as if they were two small, perfectly obedient robots. The only real conversation they had offered so far was to talk about schoolwork.

There was only one person who could change the situation, and that was her. No doubt these children were not used to being looked after by ordinary people, who weren’t highly intelligent specialists or business leaders, but she could only be who she was.

The thought of helping them with homework crossed her mind, but homework was a boring task, and in any case the girls seemed to prefer to do their chores independently and without help.

How about playing a proper game with them, Cassie thought. That was what seemed to be missing in their overly serious, high-powered lives. Brilliant and destined for success they might be, but they were still only eight and nine years old, and needed playtime.

Pleased by having thought of an activity that they would enjoy, where she could contribute her own energy and imagination, she headed upstairs to put on her jacket.

“It looks like it might rain soon, but it’s holding off for now, so shall we go and play in the garden?” she asked Nina.

Nina looked up at her politely.

“We don’t usually do that,” she said.

Cassie’s heart sank. These children were pushing her away.

Venetia appeared at Nina’s bedroom door.

“I would like to play,” she said.

Cassie saw that on the shelf above Nina’s bookcase, there were a few toys. They were too high up for the children to reach, but there was a beautiful doll which looked like an expensive collector’s item, rather than a toy, a puzzle in an unopened box, and a soft, colorful ball.

“Shall we go and play catch outside?” she suggested, reaching for the ball.

Again, the girls exchanged a glance, as if reaching a decision.

“We are not allowed to play with those toys,” Nina said.

In the frustration of the moment, Cassie almost lost her temper and screamed at the girls. She was emotionally shattered after the discovery of Jacqui’s death, and she was starting to feel that this stonewalling was a personal attack.

On the point of exploding, she managed to grab a final tattered thread of self-control.

“OK,” she said, injecting as much faux cheerfulness into her voice as she could muster. “You’re not allowed to play with those toys, but would you like to play a game anyway?”

“Yes.” Nina nodded, showing some enthusiasm for the first time, and Venetia jumped up and down, beaming with excitement.

Cassie was relieved she hadn’t snapped. Most probably they didn’t have anything against her personally, but were just shy, and extremely aware of their house rules.

“Are there other toys anywhere? Or else we could play a game without toys.”

“Let’s play without toys,” Nina said.

Cassie racked her brain for the best idea as they trooped downstairs. What would be most fun, and bring her and the children together?

“How about a game of tag?”

Cassie decided to keep it simple, as the clouds were looming, and she didn’t think they would have very long outside before it started to rain.

“What is tag?” Nina asked curiously.

Cassie had no idea of the Italian word, so she decided a quick explanation would work best.

“We can run anywhere in this garden. As far as the wall on that side and the flower bed all the way over there. I’ll start by being ‘it’ and will give you the count of five to get away.”

The children nodded. Venetia was looking excited, while Nina appeared puzzled but intrigued.