Once Dormant

But even so, something seemed deeply wrong.

It took her a moment to realize …

I’m alone.

She looked up and down the beach and saw no one as far as she could see.

Where are they? she wondered.

Where were April and Jilly and Crystal?

And where was Blaine?

A strange dread started to rise up in her, and also a terrifying thought …

Maybe I dreamed the whole thing.

Yes, maybe last night had never happened.

None of it.

Those loving moments with Blaine as they planned their future together.

The laughter of her two daughters—and also Crystal, who was about to become her third daughter.

Her warm, rich feeling of belonging—a feeling she’d spent her whole life seeking and craving.

All just a dream.

And now she was alone—as alone as she’d ever been in her life.

Just then she heard laughing and chattering behind her.

She spun around and saw them …

Blaine, Crystal, April, and Jilly were all running around throwing a beach ball to one another.

Riley breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Of course it was real, she thought.

Of course I didn’t just imagine it.

Riley laughed with joy and broke into a run to join them.

But then something hard and invisible stopped her dead in her tracks.

It was some kind of a barrier that separated her from the people she loved most.

Riley walked along the barrier, running her hands along it, thinking …

Maybe there’s a way around it.

Then she heard a familiar rasp of laughter.

“Give it up, girl,” a voice said. “That life’s not for you.”

Riley turned around and saw someone standing just a few feet away from her.

It was a man in the full-dress uniform of a Marine colonel. He was tall and gangly, his face worn and wrinkled from years of anger and alcohol.

He was the last human being in the world Riley wanted to see.

“Daddy,” she murmured with despair.

He chuckled grimly and said, “Hey, you don’t have to sound so goddamn sad about it. I thought you’d be glad to be reunited with your own flesh and blood.”

“You’re dead,” Riley said.

Daddy shrugged and said, “Well, as you already know, that doesn’t stop me from checking in from time to time.”

Riley dimly realized that this was the truth.

This wasn’t the first time she’d seen her father since his death last year.

And this wasn’t the first time she’d been puzzled by his presence. Just how she could be talking to a dead man made no real sense to her.

But she did know one thing for sure.

She wanted nothing to do with him.

She wanted to be among people who didn’t make her hate herself.

She turned and started to walk toward Blaine and the girls, who were still playing with the beach ball.

Again she was stopped by that invisible barrier.

Her father laughed. “How many times have I got to tell you? You’ve got no business with them.”

Riley’s whole body shook—whether with rage or heartbreak, she wasn’t sure.

She turned toward her father and yelled …

“Leave me alone!”

“Are you sure?” he said. “I’m all you’ve got. I’m all you are.”

Riley snarled, “I’m nothing like you. I know what it means to love and be loved.”